Priscilla Shirer - Life Interrupted

Copyright 2011 by Priscilla Shirer

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-4336-7326-9

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.843

Subject Heading: CHRISTIAN LIFE \ JONAH, PROPHET \ GODWILL

Unless otherwise stated, Scripture is taken from the New American Standard Bible ( nasb ), the Lockman Foundation, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977; used by permission.

Also used: The Holy Bible, New International Version ( niv ), copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.

Also used: The New Living Translation ( nlt ), copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Also used: The Message, the New Testament in Contemporary English, 1993 by Eugene H. Peterson, published by NavPress, Colorado Springs, Colorado.

6 7 8 9 10 11 12 21 20 19 18 17

For Jude

Acknowledgments

Jerry, Im in awe of you. Your patience, kindness, care, and concern for the kids and me is stunning. Im honored to be your wife and your partner in ministry. Thank you for marrying me.

Jackson, Jerry Jr., and Jude. Im so grateful to be your mom. You are my greatest treasures and my lifes best work.

Dad and Mom, thank you for investing in me. Im hoping that youre feeling rich from the dividends.

Linnae, Carla, and Rachel, thanks for working alongside Jerry and me at GB Ministries. You keep the wheels turning.

Jennifer and the B&H Publishing Team, its a pleasure to work with you. We consider you to be our family and look forward to doing it again soon.

Lawrence, all I can say is thank you. Thered be a lot of confused readers if it werent for you!

Part 1

Interruptions, Interruptions

Chapter 1

And Now for Something Completely Different

For since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him!

Isaiah 64:4 nlt

I wish Id known then what I know nowwhat the Lord is helping me begin to discover.

Maybe then, when those unexpected circumstances surprised me, I wouldve been better able to corral my untamed, unruly emotions.

Maybe then the twists of life wouldnt have caused such a twist in my heart, making me so severe and unforgiving.

Maybe then I wouldve recognized Gods unseen hand in all of it and wouldve met the frustration or disappointment with a wink and a smirk, knowing He was behind it all, that this interruption was merely His way of laying a foundation for better things.

Maybe then I wouldnt have tried so hard to control it or hurry through it but wouldve yielded to it and embraced what the Lord allowed.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

But certainly not at the time.

You see, my life was going to be music. Literally. The first time I sang in church, I was five years old. Ive got concrete memories of my little wobbly voice and knees that carried me through that day. From that moment on I was sure God wanted me to be a singer. I planned for it, aspired to it, and dreamed of what it would be like to stand on the stage and in the recording studio, singing my songs for Him. I even auditioned for several nationally known singing groups in my late teens and early twenties and was thrilled when they said theyd actually like me to come on board with them.

But people I went to for counsel encouraged me not to jump into music too soon and pass up some other experiences that might prove more valuable later. By the time Id waited for all the obstacles to clear, those great music opportunities had passed me by. Id missed my chance. The exciting, open doors that had been accessible to me before were now closed. I was devastated. What was I supposed to do now, when the one thing Id wantedthe path I thought was Gods plan for mewas no longer an available option?

I wish Id known then what I know now.

Music was apparently out, much to the dismay of my hopes and dreams. So after batting around some alternatives, I decided to pursue a degree in radio and television. It seemed to suit me. If I couldnt do the music thing, I could at least enjoy a stage presence on camera. Television proved to be an intense, high-pressure undertakinga lot of hard workbut very exciting, especially when some jobs opened up for me at several different stations, performing in various on-air capacities. With each new assignment I truly believed this might be the platform that would elevate me to bigger and better things. But each time I started working for a particular show, their ratings began to suffer. Every single one was cancelled within a year of my joining the team. (Talk about giving a girl a complex!)

This couldnt be happening. I had studied for this. I had put in the hours. I was paying my dues and was absolutely certain the Lord had steered me toward doing this for a career, for a livelihood. Obviously, then, I had either heard Him wrong, or He had set me up to fail. What does a singer and broadcast professional do when nothing she feels called to is working out? I was barely in my twenties. And already feeling washed up.

I wish Id known then what I know now.

Meanwhile, I was dating a young man, a wonderful guy who had captured my heart and seemed like the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We had gotten pretty serious, even beginning to make those first, sunny promises of marriage. But in one of those twists and turns on the road to romantic bliss, our car had run off the road. We were done. And I was totally distressed. I begged God to restore my relationship with this man. We were meant to be together. I knew it! But despite all the talks and times spent together, all the plans and dreams we had begun imaginingfact was, he didnt want me anymore. And it came close to killing me. I couldnt sleep. I couldnt eat. I couldnt see anything good in store for me. I was losing at life and losing at love, all at the same time.

I wish Id known then what I know now.

There was somebody else for me. Years later I was in love. (More on that later.) And after three years of marriage, with little effort, God allowed me to get pregnant. We were thrilled. Soon, however, almost before the reality of baby makes three had even begun to hit us, I miscarried. Where we had hardly been able to keep our minds on anything else because of our excited anticipation, now we could hardly keep our minds on anything else because of our grief and disappointment.

Life. Interrupted again.

How could this happen? Why would God allow it? Did it mean wed never be able to have children? Could we possibly get past this horrible experience and dare to try again, knowing how low the lows can be when your joy is snatched away?

Yes, we could.

Yes, we did.

First came Jackson. Then two years later, Jerry Jr. And when these fun little guys began rounding the corner from toddlerhood to the school-age years, Jerry and I decided we were closing up shop in the baby-making business. We both loved being parents but were so looking forward to life without diapers, sippy cups, and colicky crying spells in the middle of the night. I was fairly certain I didnt have another pregnancy/baby/toddler experience in me.

Well... yes, I did.

When those faint pink lines shaded their way into a plus-sign on the pregnancy test Id brought home from the store, Jerrys and my plan for a new phase of life suddenly became our plan for an unexpected phase of life. This was not what we had in mind. We had felt so complete and satisfied with our two little boys and our nice little life, anddare I say itwe were shocked to realize we were now headed in another direction: a six-pound, twelve- ounce change of plans by the name of Jude Maddox Shirer. And as sweet and good-natured fellow as he is, the October he was born represented a whole new chapter in our householdan unexpected one.