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Dear Bubby,
We either meet at simchas, like Uncle Davids birthday last year, or at funerals, like Zaydes.
I miss the in-between time with you, Bubby. Remember the Sundays when wed play backgammon all day, and you would let me have milky coffee like a grown-up?
I know you dont like gifts or compliments, and I know you will resist this like the plague, butare you sitting down?Im sending you a years gift of yoga! Its so convenient, tooright down the block from your apartment!
Yoga will keep you young and balanced so you can live bis hundert un tsvantsiktill 120and be a greatgrandmother (no, Im not pregnant). I know you are strong, Bubby, but I think yoga will help you grieve. This is not a cult, I promise! I do it every day since Mark and I broke up, and have never felt better.
I hope we will share a plate of your delicious potato latkes, topped with sour cream and applesauce, for Hanukkah ... and go to yoga class.
We will celebrate the in-between days because, as John Lennon said, Life is what happens when youre busy making other plans.
At the risk of guilting you into going, these yoga classes cost me a small fortune.
I love you.
Hugs and kisses,
Your granddaughter,
Last week, I had a dream that I was floating on a giant flying carpeta gift certificate for a year of free yoga classes!
I must say it was very relaxing, just drifting through the heavens. Kind of like Miami Beach meets Calcutta.
There were rabbis and yogis, and they all had long hair and flowing robes. I kept crying out to the clouds, Im the Hippy Bubby Extraordinaire from Manhattan!
But I woke up in a panicOy vey iz mir! Oh, woe is me!the cost of all this drifting and dreaming. My poor granddaughter, Stephanie, meine maidela, spent a small fortune on these yoga classes for her Bubby.
To help you grieve, Bubby. It will be healing for you.
When I got up, I went straight to the yoga centerI havent moved so fast since I loifed to Loehmanns fifty percent, post-holiday, red tag sale!
My first yoga class! The teacher is so young! Uch! He wants us to set an intention.
What can this mean? Intention?
My intention is to have a pastrami sandwich at Katzs Deli on Houston.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. He keeps repeating it like we cant hear him. What am I, a human respirator?
For twenty minutes we sit in what we used to call Indian style. After a while my hips are so numb, I think I need a Percodan.
All this focus on breathing makes me light-headed.
What a nudnik the teacher is.
At the Yoga Center I was famished and looked around for a nosh. I asked one of the staff (the one with the nose ring, I would say, but this would not distinguish her from all the others), Excuse me, wheres your snack bar?
She looked at me with eyes more glazed than a Krispy Kreme doughnut.
You shouldnt eat right before class, she advised.
Sip the airits composed of seventy percent water, like your body.
No wonder theyre all emaciated: theres no food, the heats up to a hundred degreesand theyre sipping air!
The girl at the front desk had said to dress comfortably. I had no idea what to wear to this meshuga class. There was no way I was going to wear thongs!
So I pulled out my old blue-and-white Adidas velour sweatsuit. Harry (may he rest in peace) bought it for me at Macys for our trip to Israel a lifetime ago. When I put it on, I swear I could hear him whistle at me.
It never fails to make me blush.
In this class, there are all kinds of props. Purple bricks and Guatemalan blankets (I wondered when they were last washed) and straps. Straps? Did I wander into anS&Mclass?
So Im on my purple yoga mat and my dirty Guatemalan blanket with my straps, and I begin to breathe. In and out, in and outIm starting to hyperventilate!
My instructor is called Sat Yam, but with a ponem like his, I did some reconnoitering and found out his name is Schmuel Lupinsky. Ill call him Sammy. So young he is. Very tall, like my Harry, and quite handsome (if he would shave the beard). Could Sammy be one of those Jewish-Buddhistsa Jew-Buthat Stephanie told me about? Stephanie said the Buddhists, like the Jews, want to end suffering, and heal all sentient beings. Jews call it tikkun haolam to save the world. Im confusedwouldnt he technically be a Hindu-Jew, or a Hin-Jew, since yoga comes from the Hindu tradition? Oy, so many new things to absorb in yoga!
Sammy is certainly repairing mesuch a mensch he is, always bringing me blocks and straps and extra blankets. He turns the music down low and speaks extra loud so I can hear everything.
What rachmonescompassionthis man has, and to a virtual stranger yet.
Sammy is so respectfulhe always asks whether its okay if he adjusts our postures. He says he doesnt want to violate a persons personal space. Violate, please! Sometimes, I must confess, I do the postures wrong intentionally. Bubeleh, adjust, adjust!
Living in New York City, its hard not to violate someones space. People arent so touchy-feely in the Big Applethey are pushy-stealy!
Sammy asks the class, Are there any injuries I should be aware of before we begin?
I raise my hand and begin telling him about my various ailments: my left hip and the sciatica; the pinched nerve in my neck; my bunions (of course); my acid reflux, which could burn a hole in these Guatemalan blankets.
Another student cuts me off, sharing with the whole class that Im giving her a headache.
When I was younger, I was a looker. A fiery redhead, svelte, with a big bosom. Lets just say I was never at a loss for attention from men. My sister Pearl always said so. These days, we barely speak. We need tikkun ha-olam, but thats an adjustment Im not quite ready for.
Now that Harrys gone, I miss human touch the most.
So when Sammy touches me in, say, Downward Dog Pose, such a mitzvah! Im kvelling, happy to be touched.
Sammy says, If you find yourself thinking, just say, Thinking, thinking, and return to your breath.
I take the liberty of modifying this. When I find myself thinking, I say, Valium, thank you, valium, thank you. My new mantra.
Today we learned kapalabhati breathing. Kapala means skull in Sanskrit. You know how I remember it? In Yiddish kepeleh means little head.
Bhati means that which brings lightness. With all this deep breathing, my