Nadia Davis - Home Is Within You: A Memoir

HOME IS WITHIN YOU

NADIA DAVIS

This memoir is dedicated to my three sons,

Diego, Harrison, and Elijah.

May you always remember that home is within you.

Thank you, Bill, for your unwavering belief in me and unbreakable commitment to our children.

This memoir would not have been possible without the love, support, and guidance of several incredible women: Mariam Paul, MFT; Kimmy Hunkle, MFT; Priya Jain; Bethzabe Martinez; Maryann Tanedo; Angela DiDonato, Esq.; Veronica Toole; Monica Balderrama, Esq.; Jane Jenson; Sharman Haversack; Charlotte Burns; Tiffany Napial; Anjie Whitman; Twila Ingram; Heather Perkins; Jackie Izzo-Moses; Loretta Baptista; Cherri Allison; Nancy OMalley; Dr. Michelle Martin; Deanne Rocchietti; Kimberley Baird-Lyon; plus so many other warriors; my sisters Anja, Marisa, and Sabrina; and most of all, my mother Irmgard.

From the depths of my soul, thank you

Sabrina and Ron Eversole and Brian and Celina Friday

for being there for us when we needed you most.

Copyright Nadia Davis, 2021

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written consent from the publisher, except for brief quotations for reviews.

For further information, write to Nadia Davis at nadia.thrives@yahoo.com.

Cover design by Asha Hossain.

Edited by Jessica Powers.

Website: https://www.nadia-davis.com

Table of Contents

I ntroduction: Dear Son, when I visited the angels, you were there.

Chapter 1: Dear Son, poverty is not living in a small house, it is living in a small world.

Chapter 2: Dear Son, you are not a body nor the thoughts your mind makes.

Chapter: Dear Son, this too shall pass.

Chapter 4: Dear Son, justice is but an idea, unless someone makes it real.

Chapter 5: Dear Son, the truth is the truth and it must win.

Chapter 6: Dear Son, always wear your seatbelt.

Chapter 7: Dear Son, any time you ask for help, you deserve an award.

Chapter 8: Dear Son, you are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Chapter 9: Dear Son, please make self-care your best friend.

Chapter 10: Dear Son, you can make it through anything in life, and are never alone.

Chapter 11: Dear Son, if anyone hurts you, I got your back. Our Creator takes care of the rest.

Chapter 12: Dear Son, guilt is ok. Shame never is.

Chapter 13: Dear Son, you are not mere DNA.

Chapter 14: Dear Son, if you want to go quicker, go alone. If you want to go further, go together.

Chapter 15: Dear Son, truth is your identity.

Chapter 16: Dear Son, good and bad come in waves, but the truth remains the same.

Chapter 17: Dear Son, the end is often the beginning.

Chapter 18: Dear Son, courage is often a verb.

Chapter 19: Dear Son, never stop growing and striving to live wholeheartedly.

Chapter 20: Dear Son, I got you. You got me. We got we. Family.

Introduction

Dear Son,
when I visited the angels,
you were there.

M

y fathers inspiration carried me through years when I thrived working in my element. A little brown girl who simply wanted to save the world, I became a passionate attorney and school board member in the city he grew up in.

Young, smart, and beautiful, they said, an up-and-comer.

I wanted to bring warmth and light where the dark was winning.

So when a desperate mother begged to help free her innocent son, I went into autopilot. Many said I was crazy. Well, frankly, I am. At least now, I happily admit it.

A young inexperienced lawyer? Who the hell does she think she is? they asked. Um, sir, doing the right thing doesnt require permission or tenure , I thought.

Go ahead and call me nuts. But the truth isnt, and it had to win. The fight to free a wrongfully convicted kid was off and running. Hundreds joined the effort and the press followed.

Yet it all could have come to an end the night of the accident. A big rig hit my car, hauling it off into a triple flip, landing in an embankment out of sight. I wasnt breathing when they finally found me. Twenty-two broken bones, a punctured lung, and a bleeding brain later, it took a mighty toll Id fail to recognize for years to come.

D ear Son,

You were there that night I died, long before any human idea of you ever came to be. Engulfed in an infinite, formless warmth, love, and light, It is where no fear or judgment exist. It is a magnificent and all-knowing peace. My fathers soul and innumerable others shined and thrived whole, perfect, and complete. I didnt want to leave.

But then a message came so clear, Now is not the time. An indelible mark of that home within was etched into my being.

Anothers breath was forced inside me and a thump of my heart was heard again. My soul returned to a body that would struggle for years to survive.

But now I know the reason it did. It was to carry your life.

Truth is, I had no clue how to live in this life before my body was shattered. Navigating emotional, mental, and physical pain thereafter was beyond difficult and my choices were not all smart.

Any normal person wouldve taken time to heal before returning to public life. Me? No, I had to prove my worth. And thoughts are crappy things when you believe they are really you. My mind was alive and kicking before I could even take a step. Fueled by a hospital IV line of morphine, tap, tap, tap it rang. Just accept youre a broken body. Youll never walk again.

Outside rumors fueled the agony. Shell never be the same. Shes a goner now, out of our way. I didnt know any better then and responded inside, Screw you and screw that. Hey! Watch me now. Ill get back on my feet again, just like my daddy did.

Plus, an innocent kid was still behind bars, and I was still free.

Sure enough, my body got up and walked again. Years of hard work brought prestigious titles, awards, and accolades. Then I ended up in the arms of the most powerful man in the state of California. But none of that erased the fact that I was struggling deep inside. I was so gravely ill-prepared for all that would happen in my life next.

Tragedy after tragedy hit, back-to-back, and out of the blue. Death and trauma reared their ugly heads, and I never could seem to catch up. Perfect fodder for a sociopath and highly addictive drug, I fell into a swamp of terror and saw absolutely no way out.