Nadia Dunlap - To Whom It May Concern... in the Struggle: The Emotional Healing Through the Freedom of Being Transparent

To Whom It May Concern.......
In The Struggle

The emotional healing through the
freedom of being transparent

Nadia Dunlap

AuthorHouse

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Phone: 1-800-839-8640

2011 Nadia Dunlap. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 05/18/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-5770-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-5771-7 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-5772-4(hdj)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011904483

Printed in the United States of America

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Contents

Acknowledgements

This very special book is dedicated to My grandmother, Nellie B Duck Jones, Apostle Glenda McCullum, Mrs Kim Karlberg, Jeff Bridges, Stefan Kassza and Rachelle Walker.

Thank you all, for painting the picture of my life through words of perseverance, change and relentless strength. Your words are the paint brush of encouragement that I will sign on the canvas of all hearts that share in my writings. Love doesnt speak the volumes of gratitude that is my heart for you all.

To God, for calling me his child despite all the times I turned my back on him and yet still being a faithful farther and master wise builder. Thank you for the promise of never letting the enemy touch your anointed ones. Thank you for placing your sons to sit in heavenly places. Until we meet again, your will be done in heaven as here on earth.

Introduction

This book was created out of hurt that I couldnt explain and negative feelings I couldnt shake off. During this dark period, I would typically manage during the daytime to take my mind off my heartbreak long enough to do my homework. After a short period in the army, I found myself back in school after seven years of absence. Given the experiences in the field, I was not ready to sit in a classroom, and I enrolled to internet based classes at my local junior college. A few credits from graduation, I took some extra courses to meet credit requirements for the graduation. During that time, I took some criminal justice courses. All course work was done over the computer each week, questions were posed on a discussion board, and my fellow classmates and I were required to answer the questions and comment on each others answers. Week after week, I would read the questions, but would never write the answers; instead I would write a story based on what I saw in my mind each time a new question was posed. Every week, my mentor would read my answers, never saying a word; she patiently graded my work and waited each week for the discussion board. She saw something I didnt see. I had been writing in this manner since I was a young child. I could never just write a straight answer. My writing was a seemingly long series of riddles, waiting for someone to understand what I was trying to say and to finally understand my story. I was always told that my way of thinking was wrong, or that maybe I just didnt know how to express myself. This misconception spilled over to my English classes, where my grades reflected my teachers sentiments. Quickly, my stories started to depict the sorrow of a girl, so lost and hurt, that she felt everything in her life was so wrong if something didnt go right she didnt want to live another day. Minutes from needing to drop out of school because of not having any books to finish her classes, she walked to her teacher door in utter shame and embarrassment.. She spoke softly, managing to utter only a few words, Hello, I am Nadia Dunlap. The teachers smile couldnt be contained by the room; Come in, rushed to the top her voice, sit down. I was in panic, look into myself, searching for clues as to what I could have done wrong. See, I never had a teacher treat me kindly before. Not only that, but I couldnt imagine any one of my peers having anything positive to say about me. I sat, waiting for the doom. I slid into a chair like a scolded 3rd grader. My eyes were glued to the floor, where my esteem was, due to never having a mentor or any guidance when it came to the pursuit of my dreams and ambitions. The teacher burst into such a joy, that it made me jolt in my seat and focus my eyes on her in alarm in terror. Happiness was something I had never encountered when my name was spoken. Somewhere at the back of my mind, as if from the distance, I could hear her words, Your answers are great; you have a talent. Youre a writer! For a subdued, unhappy girl who walked through that door, waiting for a reprimand, this seemed surreal. Somewhere on her life journey, she lost her belief in which she was or could become. She was offended by the praise, as it seemed almost like an insult, offering her a glimpse of a dream she could never have. A girl interrupted by life and constant stream of heartbreaks; living her life by the codes of streets. Confused with happiness and anger, she left with the books to be able to stay in her school. The thought of being somebody else, untouched by the daily pain and torture of her inner torment vanished as soon as she left her teachers presence. Weeks passed, consumed by her quest to just pass her class, as her teacher looked for a way to show her the talent within her. Once again, she found herself in her teachers office. This time, her husband and other esteemed colleagues were there to greet the kid that couldnt see past her tears she cried each night from her broken, disillusioned heart. To her astonishment, she was introduced to the group, Everyone, this is the student I have been telling you about, Nadia Dunlap, the writer. She is going to write a book on the struggles she has been through, so that others who need to hear her story and understand the struggles can benefit from her courage. It will be titled I n the struggle, as that is how the writer felt writing each and every story within. I decided at that very moment that I would no longer be a victim to any circumstance a painting with no color, no light to shine or been seen. Right then, I decided to be exactly what she saw a master piece in the making. My name is Nadia Dunlap a master piece of nature, even in her darkest days, a masterpiece she will always be.

This book was written for those individuals who were like me. Who ever felt heartbroken, lost, angry, hurt abandoned, addicted, rejected parentless and alone. This book is the voice that tells you God made you perfect; youre beautiful, special in every way, even when no one else see it. This book is for the one that doesnt see a reason to wake up in the morning. You are the reason for the morning: you just need to live to see it. For those who are in the arms of many different lost souls looking for the person to someone to tell you I love you. Please let these many journeys hold you fast to the promise that weeping does only endure for a night however, joy will come in the morning. Remember we have a farther in heaven that says he shall never leave you and never forsake you. Hes a perfect gentleman that will not tell a lie, trust him seek him diligently, earnestly and he will add unto you as what you give to him in return. He needs you just as much as you need him. He loves you and misses you. He just wants you to have a heartfelt talk with him. Go ahead give his love a try.