Rob Koke - Prodigal Daughter: A Familys Brave Journey through Addiction and Recovery

Contents

To our families and friendswe love doing life together with you. Your encouragement and prayerful support mean the world to us.

To the Shoreline Church staffwe simply love serving Jesus alongside each of you. Your enthusiasm is contagious, and your creativity and hard work inspire us.

To Shoreline Churchyoure the best congregation on the planet!

To our Zondervan family: vice president of marketing Tom Dean, executive editor Carolyn McCready, and senior editor Dirk Buursmawe never expected to receive such personal warmth and encouragement in the process of writing this book. Thank you so much for your wisdom and help in shaping this project. It means the world to us that you believe in our story.

To The Fedd Agencythank you, Esther, for getting this process started. And thank you, Whitney Gossett, for guiding us every step along the way

To our writing coaches: A. J. Gregoryyou wrote the first chapter with us; Kendall Davisyou coached us through every chapter and page. Thank you both for investing your incredible skills in us.

To the Arborthank you for taking Danielle in and starting her on her road to freedom.

To AA and Celebrate Recoveryyou are the true heroes of the recovery movement. We along with millions of others have benefited from your care and dedication.

To all recovering addicts, to those who have paved the way before usthank you for showing us the way. To those who come after us, we are honored to add our story to your journey.

To our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christyou did for us what we could never do for ourselves. Thank you for your grace, which has forgiven us and made us brand-new. We stand in you alone. And thank you for letting us steal your most famous story and change the name to Prodigal Daughter.

Rob

While our story has what most would call a happy ending, I dont want to ignore the needs and pain of families for whom no end to the addiction is in sight. Where the addict shows no sign of repentance or desire to change. Where rehab and recovery seem like an impossible dream. Where the relational, financial, spiritual, and emotional devastation are ongoingand increasing.

Many of the principles we laid out in this book still hold, even when you dont see any positive progress in your loved one. You still need to rely on Gods strength and the support of his body, the church. You still need to live one day at a time, trusting in Gods goodness and provision and serving those around you. And you still need to make sure you are not enabling your loved one but are allowing them to experience the consequences of their own actions.

Families and friends of addicts should seek out counseling if possible. In addition, they should consider joining support groups such as Al-Anon, which expressly offer help to families and friends of alcoholics. Celebrate Recovery can also be helpful to families and friends of addicts by educating them about addiction and supporting them as they deal with the issues and the pain of a loved ones addiction.

While we deeply believe that recovery is possible for anyone, we dont want to be naive and declare that it is likely for everyone. Our world is tragically broken, and we and all of creation groan as we wait for our Saviors healing touch. But we are not alone. In the worst of times, we need to hold firmly to the glorious words of the apostle Paul:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:1826, 28

Danielle

I stumbled around the living room floor, unable to string words together that made a complete sentence. I said out loud to no one in particular, Crap! I really have to get home, or my parents are gonna flip out. At least this is what I thought I was saying. What actually came out of my mouth was a slurred mess.

The scene around me started to blur. The shadows of my friends merged together in a vibrant haze. I remember playing some card games. Then some drinking games. Lots of games and lots of drinking.

Their voices confused me. First they sounded far away, like listening to someone on the phone with bad reception. But then I blinked hard, and I could hear them loud and clear. My friend was shaking his head at me. Youre not driving, he said. Someone else appeared alongside him, nodding. Her words were more forceful. Seriously, Danielle, youre not going anywhere.

I was annoyed. First of all, did they know how loud they were, and right in my ear? Second, had they met my parents? I dont think so. All I could think about was how much trouble I would be in if I didnt get home. How come no one understands this? I tried to straighten up, appear less sloppy... major fail. This was hard to do when a slew of vodka shots and salty margaritas was sloshing around in my body.

I wanted to open my mouth and try to defend myself and maybe prove that I was fit to drive. But that wont work. I didnt know what Id end up saying. Truth is, I didnt want to throw a tantrum and ruin everyones good time. I just wanted to leave. I have to get home.

So I nodded and tried my hardest to keep my mouth shut. Play it cool, D. I call myself that sometimes. Dont cause a scene.

The room blurred. Im not quite sure what happened next. Its like time froze. For me, at least. I was alone. No one knew where I was. Shoot, I barely even knew.

Then time resumed, although it was still a blur. I heard a loud noise. It was the sound of the door shutting. I jumped a little but then refocused. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw my friends outside on the back porch of the house. Though drunk, I recognized an opportunity. The house was quiet except for the keys jingling in my pocket. My balance was shaky, but I slipped out.

Unnoticed.

Invisible.

Numb.

Everything went black.

I woke up on the floor of my bedroom with my clothes on backwards... not a great look. The world moved in slow motion. My head pounded, and my hands trembled. My first thought: Wheres my cell phone? I slapped my hand around the floor looking for my phone. No luck.

My heart raced as I tried to remember how I got home. But with my scrambled brain I had nothing but bits and pieces.

The party. So much alcohol. Wanting to leave. The keys. Leaving.

The memories of the night before were few and faint. But I guess the fact that I was home was good news. Maybe I got lucky. But then the thought hit me: Holy fudge nuggets! What about my car?