Josif Wright - The War Within: My Story

The Call

Life can change in a moment. When tough times come, ask God for wisdom then stand your ground and fight.

The year 2010 proved to be a very trying year. Neither church work nor my job teaching at school was going very well. Our home became a place where battles were being fought daily. My entire life was a war zone. My son, Ryan, began hanging around older guys who had sketchy reputations. Ryan was a senior in high school, and these guys were several years older. He seemed to be drifting away from God and from our family. The baseball scholarship that he really wanted just wasnt that important anymore. Those things were red flags to me and my wife, Bethany. We did the best we could to steer him away from these guys and back to God. Aside from these older guys he was hanging around with, there really werent many other red flags though. Some things seemed a little out of the ordinary, but we were dealing with a teenager so the unordinary was sometimes ordinary, if you know what I mean. Ryans grades were as good as ever, and things were fairly normal. Bethany and I did start to dread weekends because there were so many arguments about where he was going and who hed be hanging out with.

Where did all of this come from? Id ask myself. Over a short amount of time, things started falling apart at home. Bethany and I couldnt believe it. Here we were, trying our best to raise our children in the admonition of the Lord , and things were getting worse. I always thought that if we loved the Lord and taught our children to follow Jesus, things would be fine. We would have a problem here and there but nothing major. Wow, was I clueless!

My mother, Shirley, died from Clostridium difficile brought on by multiple myeloma on January 2, 2008. This was a huge blow to my children, Ryan and Rebekah. They loved their grandmama so much and had so many happy memories of spending time with her. Looking back, I dont think that they really took time to grieve properly and celebrate her life. We went back to school soon after the funeral and got back into regular routines. We shouldve talked and expressed our feelings to each other more. We shouldve talked more about all of the happy times that we had with her and how blessed we were to have had her in our lives for so many years. It seemed as though Ryan couldnt handle the anger that he was feeling and the loss that he was experiencing.

Things at home were not great, but they were fairly stable , I thought. Then came the callthe call that would bring me to my knees and start a chain reaction of hellish years on earth. It was November 22, 2010. I was teaching school when word came from the office that I had an important call. I wasnt prepared for what I was going to hear. I quickly made my way to the office and picked up the phone. Is this Josif Wright? the voice asked.

Yes, it is, I replied.

This is Brooke Hinson. Im very sorry to bother you at work, but I cant wait any longer to tell you this. I have class with your son, Ryan. Hes been confiding in me after class. If something doesnt change soon, Ryan might not live much longer.

I was stunned. Fear gripped my body. This fear was unlike any fear that I had ever experienced. Oh, dear God! I thought. Without hesitation, I asked the office aide if I could take the call in the counselors office. Brooke said that she had class at the local junior college with Ryan and that they had become friends. Ryan confided in her for several weeks that he had been doing drugs and that he was afraid for his life. At that moment, all of my suspicions came to light. My mind went back to the two or three people who boldly and lovingly told me of Ryans alleged drug use. I dismissed those accusations each time Ryan and I talked about it, mainly because he lied so well. There werent glaring indications at that time, and any instances that would point to drug use were few and far between. He just didnt show a lot of the signs of drug use, and I didnt know what to look for. I thanked Brooke repeatedly and hung up the phone. I knew that she had saved my sons life with that phone call. I just sat there numb. I couldnt speak, couldnt cry, and couldnt process what Id just heard.

Finally, I gathered enough strength to get up out of the chair. I knocked on the office door and motioned for the office aide to inform the principal that I had an emergency and I had to go home. I didnt know what to do and say to Ryan when I got home or how to handle this. Give me wisdom, I whispered to God. I arrived at my dads house where Ryan was. I told him that we needed to talk so we sat in his truck. I told him of my phone conversation with Brooke.

At first, he denied it, No, thats not true! Its not true! Ryan shouted. He started hitting the steering wheel with his fists until they almost bled. I tried to stop him. After I calmed him down, we talked for quite some time. Ryan finally confessed to becoming addicted to OxyContin and cocaine. He answered all of the questions I asked of him. Instead of months of lies and manipulation, he told the truth. He smiled and said, It feels so good to get that weight off my shoulders.

Where do we go from here? I thought. What do we do next? I didnt have a clue. When I went home that evening, I told Bethany and Rebekah. They were devastated. I assured them that we would make it through all of this with Gods help. What we didnt realize was that hell was just beginning for our family.

Ryan called me at school the next day. He and one of his friends wanted to talk to me. They came while I was watching my elementary school students on the playground. They said that they wanted to get off drugs. I shared with them how glad I was with their decision and had the opportunity to share the gospel with them before they left. Man, Im so glad that I caught this now , I thought. They can get treatment and get on with their lives. But I had no clue about treatments. Did it mean going to rehab? Did Ryan need to go to a facility immediately so that professionals could help him? I was so ignorant and equally as nave. Suboxone was starting to catch on in that area as a new drug to help addicts get off drugs. I didnt know what to do. I heard that Suboxone was a miracle drug but I wasnt sure that taking one drug to get off another drug was best. After praying about it and talking with Ryan and Bethany, we decided to see a doctor about getting a prescription for Suboxone. We thought that we would do the treatment and everything would get back to normal. Little did I know that Ryans drug use to numb the pain of his childhood migraines and his grandmothers passing would intensify and not let up until at least 2014 when he went to rehab for the first time.

Why?

Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Always be kind and compassionate.

There is a misconception that people have about those who become addicted to drugs. The addicts are thought of as terrible, reckless, uncaring, rebellious, and burdens on society. People think they are getting what they deserve when theyre locked up in jail, develop a disease, become homeless, or die. More often than not, people who become addicted to drugs have tremendous ability and talents. They are people exactly like you and like me. Many people become addicted to drugs have done so as a result of an accident, surgery, or chronic pain. Money-hungry doctors have all too often shoved all kinds of medications in their faces so that they can make more money regardless of whether it makes people addicted to drugs, ruins lives, or even kill people. They are legalized drug dealers, and they write out prescriptions as fast as they can. Many of the addicts have made seriously bad decisions with who they hang out with or become close friends with. Maybe they lacked direction from a parent or guardian. Others turn to drugs to escape a terrible home life where chaos is the norm. Still others have someone very close to them dying. It can lead people to take drugs to make the pain go away for a while. Life can be difficult. Life can get complicated. If there isnt guidance, a healthy way to deal or cope with pain life can bring. Finding something to numb the pain sometimes becomes their option. Then once a person gets hooked, life becomes a war to stay clean.