Angela Thomas - Do You Think Im Beautiful?: The Question Every Woman Asks

DO YOU THINK
IM BEAUTIFUL?

OTHER BOOKS FROM
ANGELA THOMAS

Tender Mercy for a Mothers Soul
Prayers for the Mother to Be
Prayers for New Mothers
An Expectant Mothers Journal

DO YOU THINK
IM BEAUTIFUL?

THE QUESTION EVERY WOMAN ASKS

ANGELA
THOMAS

Copyright 2003 Angela Thomas

All rights reserved. Written permission must be secured from the publisher to use or reproduce any part of this book, except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations noted NKJV are from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

Scripture quotations noted The Message are from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved. When quotations from The Message text are used in non-saleable media, such as church bulletins, orders of service, posters, transparencies, or similar media, a complete copyright notice is not required, but the title The Message must appear at the end of each quotation. Permission requests for commercial and noncommercial use that exceed the above guidelines must be directed to and approved in writing by NavPress, Rights and Permissions, P.O. Box 35001, Colorado Springs, CO 80935.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Thomas, Angela, 1962
Do you think I'm beautiful? : the question every woman asks / Angela Thomas.
p. cm.

ISBN 0-7852-6355-1 (hc)
ISBN 0-7852-7377-8 (sc)

1. WomenReligious life. I. Title.

BV4527 .T468 2003
248.8'43dc21

2002014832

Printed in the United States of America

05 06 07 08 09 RRD 7 6 5 4 3

For Carlye,
There have been moments when your
love seemed to give my next breath.

CONTENTS

I f there is a question attached to the soul of a woman, maybe its .

To return to the music and strong embrace of God requires .

God is enthralled by the beauty of a woman and calls her His beloved. He wildly pursues her heart with romance and intimacy to make her .

If there is a question attached to the soul of a woman,
maybe its Do you think Im beautiful?

DO YOU THINK IM
BEAUTIFUL?

I ve worn glasses since I was eighteen months old. My first pair had cat-eye frames, and everyone thought I looked so cute in them. Oh, look at that little baby with glasses. Isnt she the sweetest thing? Then I began to grow, and for about a year I had to wear a patch over my right eye to make the left one stronger. I guess it was a decent idea, but it didnt work. It caused my weaker eye to become the dominant one. As an adult I could only look through a camera lens or a telescope with my left eye, the one that saw 20/4000 uncorrected. And dont you know I was a stunner in the Captain Hook patch with cat-eye glasses on top?

Eventually, in elementary school, classmates and neighborhood kids tagged me four eyes. I was specialone of maybe three four eyes in the entire school. Me and my wire-rim, stop-sign -shaped glasses. How cool can a girl be with traffic signs in front of her eyes? Not very. And a few years later, for the full effect, we added three and a half years of braces. Railroad tracks. Tinsel teeth. That was me... thick bottle caps before my eyes, tin on my teeth, andto make things as awful as possibleI was smart. In case youve forgotten, girls dont want to be smart in junior highthey want to be pretty.

By those tender junior high years, I knew for sure that beauty had eluded me. Now my best friend, Carla, was beautiful. Some senior guy even asked her to the prom when we were in the eighth grade. The eighth grade! Can you imagine that? Carla was at the high school prom, and I was probably at home writing a paper. Yep, there were many beautiful girls at my school, but I was not among them. I could do algebra and remember the answers for history tests. I actually did all of my homework and turned it in on time. The other day, Carla reminded me that I used to make up practice tests, take the tests, and then grade themall to prepare for the actual thing. What a dweeb!

No one ever called me ugly, and no one ever laughed in my face. Its just that no one ever noticed.

All I really wanted was to look like everyone else, but my circumstances wouldnt cooperate. Long, thick, straight hair that I styled with two barrettes every day of my young life. Braces that seemed destined to be a permanent part of my smile. And the doom of four eyes forever. Dont get the wrong impression; no one ever called me ugly, and no one ever laughed in my face. Its just that no one ever noticed.

THE PLAIN ONE

I have fumbled along with this beauty thing ever since those elementary days. I eventually realized that if I couldnt appeal to their visual senses, I could make people laugh and be fun enough to appeal to their hearts. I became a cheerleader and a good citizen and an all-around great friend. Steady. Thats what most people called me. You could count on me to show up on time, make good decisions, and always, always, always try to do the right thing. I was the one who would stand with you no matter what, the one you could snub one day and embrace the next without so much as an apology. There were no boyfriends to distract me from my friends or academics, and, besides, who doesnt need a girlfriend as faithful as a golden retriever? As long as theyd pat me on the head every once in a while, Id run and fetch and do just about anything to please.

Every Sunday on the way to church, my daddy would say that he had the prettiest daughter in the whole wide world. I know; it was sweet. But thats what dads are supposed to say. I heard him and have held on to his words even to this day, but deep down, back then, I didnt believe him. If I were really pretty, I reasoned, then someone besides my father would notice. But no one ever did.

When compliments were handed out, I was an afterthought. People would tell one of my friends how gorgeous she looked and then add, Angela, you look nice too. I felt like saying, Please, dont bother. Youre only highlighting the obvious. I am the plain one. When the entire school began dating, I continued to blend into the background. I remember the high school quarterback calling my name, saying he wanted to talk to me, and then asking if I thought my friend would go out with him. Sound familiar? Happened more times than I can count. It makes me smile now, but I can also still feel the emptiness in my stomach as I reminisce.