Denise Marek - CALM

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How to Connect with Self, Lovers,
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Balancing Work, Family, and Your Inner Life,
by Joan Z. Borysenko, Ph.D.

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Kits

The Best Year of Your Life Kit, by Debbie Ford
The Stop Anxiety Now Kit, by Eve A. Wood, M.D.
The Wise and Witty Stress Solution Kit,
by Loretta LaRoche

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A Proven Four-Step
Process Designed Specifically
for Women Who Worry

HAY HOUSE, INC.
Carlsbad, California
London Sydney Johannesburg
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Copyright 2006 by Denise Marek

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au Published anddistributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk Published and distributed in the Republic of SouthAfrica by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: orders@psdprom.co.za Distributedin Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com Published in India by: Hay House Publications (India) Pvt. Ltd.: www.hayhouseindia.co.in Distributed in India by: Media Star: booksdivision@mediastar.co.in

Editorial supervision: Jill Kramer Design: Julie Davison

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private useother than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviewswithout prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Marek, Denise.
Calm : a proven four-step process designed specifically for
women who worry / Denise Marek.
p. cm.
ISBN-13:978-1-4019-1145-4 (hardcover)
ISBN-10: 1-4019-1145-5 (hardcover)
1. Worry. 2. Women--Psychology. I. Title.
BF575.W8M32 2006
152.46--dc22 2006005441

ISBN 13: 978-1-4019-1145-4
ISBN 10: 1-4019-1145-5
09 08 07 06 4 3 2 1
1st printing, October 2006

Printed in the United States of America

Contents

Whom Can You Talk to
for a Second Opinion?

STOP! Are you Starving, Tired,
Ovulating, or Perturbed?

ACT TO CONTROL
THE CONTROLLABLE

Determine Whether or Not
the Action Is Worth Taking

Put the Power of Influence
to Work for You

Find and Utilize Your
Unique Abilities

Catch and Correct
All-or-Nothing Thinking

W hen Denise Mareks manuscript landed on my desk, I set it aside for a few days, as I had too much on my mind... too much to worryabout... to focus on reading it. Never thinking of myself as a worrier, the pages sat beside me, gently staring up, begging for me to read them.

Finally, after nearly a week of wasted energy and sleepless nights, I glanced down haphazardly and caught Denises simple yet soothing title. I instantly felt it calling my name... Calm, Crystal.Calm. Within moments of beginning to read, I was immersed, jotting down Denises witty acronyms (such as STOP, a great lifesaver for women who are starving, tired, ovulating, or perturbed), laughing out loud at her personal stories, and thinking of so many of my clients who could use this expert advice.

Every so often, a book comes along thatgently and neatly, as in a conversation with a lifelong friendseems to unravel the complications of life with ease, logic, and perfectly appointed anecdotes. CALM is that book, and Denise Marek is a master at simplifying the overwhelming. Her four-step process will undoubtedly help you learn to relax, release, and let the magic and mystery of the unknown become an exciting possibility. It will literally transform any worrier into a warrior; its as straightforward as that.

Crystal Andrus
The author of Simply...Woman!
and Transcendent Beauty

N o matter how much youve worried in the past or are doing so right now, you can let go of this emotion. I know you can, because I did. I was once a chronic worrier. I fretted about my weight and appearance, making mistakes, my job, money, and being alone. Was I lovable, likable, or good enough? You name it, and I worried about it.

The strange thing is, I believed that my worry was beneficial. Looking back, I can see how it was helping me. Agonizing about my weight and appearanceon top of continually denying my feelings because I cared too much about what others thought of mehelped me develop bulimia. Anxiety over being alone enabled me to stay in unhealthy relationships. Undue concern about being lovable, likable, or good enough helped me not stand up for myself, express my needs, and do what was best for me. Being nervous about money led me to lie awake at night and feel upset about paying bills and kept me showing up every day for a job I didnt enjoy. Sure, worrying helped me all rightit helped me to be scared, unhappy, frustrated, and anxious.

Yet, here I am todaya nonworrier. Im calm, content, and filled with joy. If I could get here, you can, too! Throughout this book, youll discover the strategies that really helped me. If you apply these same techniques to your own life, youll stop worrying. Its that simple. Im not a doctor, and I wont be giving you medical advice. Instead, Im someone who has experienced chronic worry firsthand, and I fully understand the pain it causes. Ill show you what has allowed me and thousands of seminar participants let go of anxiety, regain inner peace, and develop a renewed passion for life.