Foreword to the Revised Edition
Shauna Niequist
I n the last several years of my life, God has used spiritual practices like centering prayer, silence, solitude and sabbath to enrich and, in many ways, rebuild my interior spiritual landscape. Essentially, for many years my central spiritual practice was doingworking, writing, pushing, performing. The way I experienced my spirituality was through my own effort. Even now as I write that, I can see the myriad problems with that way of living, and I experienced them acutely: exhaustion, isolation, numbness, profound inability to connect with God when I wasnt wearing myself out in his name.
On the path back to connection, to prayer as relationship, to a spiritual life that felt more like life, I met Phileena. She taught me about centering prayer, invited me to practice itawkward and difficult as it is when one begins. She invited a small gathering of us to place our feet solidly on the ground, to fill our chests roundly with breath, to gently bring our minds back to prayer again, again, again. And then later that night we gathered with other friends in my homepeople on the couch and on stools around the kitchen island, little groupings here and there, telling stories, sharing experiences. Id imagine we ate bread and cheese and blueberry crisp, and Id imagine there was both red wine and sparkling wateron Sunday nights, those are the usual suspects.
What I do remember from that night is that Phileena sat at the center of a small circle, feet tucked under her, answering questions with a quiet voice and generous spirit. We were a group of learners, and she was a guide. We were Christians just tiptoeing into a more contemplative way of faith, and shed walked further along this pilgrimage. And it was apparent. And it was inspiring.
Phileena lives and writes and speaks and leads with a marriage of groundedness and lightness that draws people toward her; it draws me toward her. When Im with her, and when I read her words, I know that she knows some things deep in her bones, in her cells. She has listened and walked and prayed and struggled through into a new way of living, and when youre with her, you want to do the same.
Im thankful for this book, for this journey, for this invitation. There are so many of us who are still just starting out on this contemplative pilgrimage, and Im so profoundly thankful for this wise and honest guide.
Poetry by Pablo Neruda
And it was at that age... Poetry arrived
in search of me. I dont know, I dont know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I dont know how or when,
no they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence,
but from a street I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone,
there I was without a face
and it touched me.
I did not know what to say, my mouth
had no way
with names,
my eyes were blind,
and something started in my soul,
fever or forgotten wings,
and I made my own way,
deciphering
that fire,
and I wrote the first faint line,
faint, without substance, pure
nonsense,
pure wisdom
of someone who knows nothing,
and suddenly I saw
the heavens
unfastened
and open,
planets,
palpitating plantations,
shadow perforated,
riddled
with arrows, fire and flowers,
the winding night, the universe.
And I, infinitesimal being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind.
Introduction
D arkness. If youve experienced it, you know what Im talking about. Darkness sets in long before were old enough to recognize it. It begins with anguish. Weve been hurt, sometimes tragically, and we dont know what to do with that injury. The safest thing seems to be to hide the pain, perhaps behind a mask. We seek to be safe by any means necessary. We learn to cope. And we achieve for ourselves a form of love, security or power that the wounded part of us desperately needs. But these coping mechanisms rob us of fullness of life. To really thrive in life, our soul needs to be transformedover and over again. This is the work of the spiritual journey. Exercising the courage to embark on the journey postures us for radical transformation.