Ali W. Rothrock - After Trauma: Lessons on Overcoming from a First Responder Turned Crisis Counselor

Praise for After Trauma: Lessons on Overcoming from a First Responder Turned Crisis Counselor

Rothrock skillfully weaves together insights from her experiences as a firefighter, educator, advocate, and counselor to present a thoughtful guide to overcoming self-blame, shame, and other common reactions to trauma. Part memoir and part practical self-help guide, featuring simple but powerful exercises, the book will inspire survivors to connect with their inner strength and resilience in order to reclaim control over their futures.

Karla Vermeulen, PhD, deputy director, Institute for Disaster Mental Health at SUNY New Paltz

A riveting page-turner! Rothrock demonstrates the power of owning your own experiences.

Adrianne Ziyad, trustee at Women in Fire

After Trauma shines a light on the darkness that trauma leaves behind and guides survivors through the tunnel of recovery in a sensitive, supportive manner. Realizing I was not alone in my nonlinear journey of trauma recovery gave me a sense of peace and a feeling of solidarity with other survivors.

Kelly Herron, co-founder of RunBuddy and featured in the Runners World documentary, Not Today

This is an enlightening and special book. After Trauma is both a poignant memoir and an educational guide to resilience. By centering the light on the survivor experience and recovery, Ali Rothrock teaches us about our incredible capacity to create change, to heal from trauma, and to make our communities safer when we speak up against injustice and share our story.

Kristina Froling, Virginia Tech shooting survivor, and founder of The Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools

Ali Rothrock provides a poignant and practical approach to dealing with trauma, seeing it as an opportunity for growth. She has found the balance of engagement and insight that reinforces the message that trauma is not the end of a journey but just the beginning.

Sara Jahnke, director and senior scientist at the Center for Fire, Rescue & EMS Health Research, NDRI-USA, Inc.

Rothrock weaves together the elements of trauma and triumph. After Trauma is a valuable resource for those who live forward with the aftereffects of trauma, as well as for those of us who support and join with them on their journey by holding space both for them and with them.

Lisa Zoll, LCSW, founder of Grief Relief

Ali Rothrock rightly claims a loud voice that speaks hard truths. Hers is a fierce, uncompromising voice for survivors, for surviving, for thriving. Listen to her voice and you will hear the echo of so many women and girls. Far too many. This book is a charge to men of conscience to find the courage to stand up. To speak up. To say, No more. And a charge to women to believe in ourselves.

jona olsson, fire and EMS chief, Latir Volunteer Fire Dept, Northern New Mexico, and founder of cultural bridges to justice

Ali W. Rothrock

Broadleaf Books

Minneapolis

AFTER TRAUMA

Lessons on Overcoming from a First Responder Turned Crisis Counselor

Copyright 2022 Ali W. Rothrock. Printed by Broadleaf Books, an imprint of 1517 Media. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Email or write to Permissions, Broadleaf Books, PO Box 1209, Minneapolis, MN 55440-1209.

The author is represented by WordServeLiterary Group, www.wordserveliterary.com.

Cover image: kyoshino/istock.com

Cover design: James Kegley

Print ISBN: 978-1-5064-8063-3

eBook ISBN: 978-1-5064-8064-0

While the author and 1517 Media have confirmed that all references to website addresses (URLs) were accurate at the time of writing, URLs may have expired or changed since the manuscript was prepared.

To the healers, space holders, and those who shine a light in the darkness.

Before I was shot on April 12, 2013, I hadnt experienced trauma. But that day, hiding in a closet inside the community college where I worked, with blood pouring out of my hand, I knew from that moment forward everything would be different. I understood even then that I was experiencing a clear delineation of time. There was before trauma, and now there would be after trauma.

In the aftermath of my recovery, I searched high and low for any resource I could find about trauma, grief, and healing. I bought any book I could find on the subject and stacked them up in a pile on the floor alongside my bed. The answers to my questions had to be in there. But as I poured over the books during the morning, the afternoon, and the middle of the night after a particularly horrible nightmare, I realized I wasnt actually looking for answers. I didnt even know what my questions were.

There is a theme that runs through a lot of books about trauma, be it memoirs or nonfiction, that if you approach your circumstances with a positive mindset and a determined spirit, everything will turn out okaythe ribbons of your story will be tied nicely into a bow once you reach the end. This is the theme I came across over and over again in my reading. I would read a story about someone who overcame something horrible and was living a great and fulfilling life, and instead of coming away inspired and encouraged, I felt even more angry and even more alone. How nice for them, I would think to myself, admittedly in a very sarcastic tone. Reading books written by or about people on the other side of their trauma wasnt helpful like I thought it would be. Because I wasnt on the other side of mine. It was impossible for me to see a world in which my days werent marked by which doctors appointment I needed to go to and how much pain medicine I needed to take. Imagining the rest of my life was a feat I suddenly couldnt accomplish when making it through the day was the best I could do.

It turns out that what I was looking for when I bought all those books, which I assume are all perfectly wonderful books, was just company in my grief. I simply wanted to read someone elses story and feel less alone. In the days following the shooting I was never alone, not physically anyway. There were always people aroundloving me, supporting me, tending to my needs. But none of them had experienced what I had. None of them had a bullet wound in their body; and that separated us from one another. They couldnt know what I had been through. They couldnt feel what I was feeling no matter how hard they tried. So the stories from the other side just rang hollow. I wanted to read about trauma from someone sitting in it, someone who was willing to let it be without trying to cover it up or fix it. Someone who knew that it might not end nice and clean.

Turns out, this is hard to find. Mainly because people dont typically start writing their books about trauma from the very start. We write when we begin to process what happened, when we feel we have something to say about it, some wisdom to impart. Still, though, there are people who have the ability to write about their trauma from a strong and powerful place without feeling the need to pretend that youll be able to go back to who you were before. Thats what most of us want.

When I came across Alis work a handful of years ago, I knew she was the real deal. I had that feeling in my bones reading her words about living through crises and experiencing horrific events, that I had found one of those people.

This book,