Kevin Mills - How to Lead a Healthy Small Group: A Practical and Easy-to-Use Guide

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How to Lead a Healthy Small Group: A Practical and Easy-to-Use Guide

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ISBN 978-1-4964-6204-6

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W HATS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK OF THE B IBLE ?

Ive been asked this question numerous times and not just because Im a pastor. The question has been posed in various group settings as an icebreaker or discussion starter. Its always interesting to hear how people answer and the reasons they give for why a particular book of the Bible ranks at the top of their list.

I dont know that Ive ever heard anyone ask, Whats your least favorite book of the Bible? Not many Christ followers would want to answer that one. Any response sounds like a criticism of Gods Word. Its like asking, Whats your least favorite thing about your spouse?

Ill plead the Fifth, thank you.

But Im going to go out on a limb here and answer the question about my least favorite book of the Bible.

Ecclesiastes.

Without a doubt.

Im convinced that Solomon was clinically depressed when he wrote Ecclesiastes. Though he had wealth, power, and access to every pleasure and creature comfort of life, he was absolutely miserable. Everything was pointless to him. His life had no purpose. He found himself swimming in a deep sea of meaninglessness.

If youre depressed, dont read Ecclesiastes. I can sum it up for you: Solomon examines virtually every aspect of life and concludes that nothing really matters. Whether its work, money, pleasure, or achievements, at the end of the day, theyre all just pointless pursuits. According to Solomon, there isnt anything in our short lives thats actually worth our time and energy.

Well, except for one: relationships.

In one of the few bright spots in the book, Solomon recognizes the great value of friendships:

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor....

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

ECCLESIASTES 4:9, 12

In this passage, Solomon reminds us that we are designed to live in community with others. Relationships are not optional. According to the wisest man (other than Jesus) who ever lived, friendships are the one commodity truly worth pursuing.

When we step back from Ecclesiastes and look at the Bible as a whole, we find an oft-repeated theme: Love God and love others. In other words, the two things that matter most in life are a relationship with God and relationships with other people. Everything else falls way down the list.

Healthy churches emphasize both of these pursuits, and they do it most effectively through small groups. Arguably, this is the most important ministry in your church. Organizing, promoting, and supporting small groups create the necessary environment for teaching people how to love God and love one another. Any church with a healthy small group structure and committed small group leaders will be a healthy, growing church. Conversely, any church without healthy small groups is undoubtedly an unhealthy church.

This is where you come in. Someone has observed Gods hand on your life. Theyve noticed your heart for the Lord and your love for others. Theyve recognized your gifts in teaching and leading others. And now theyve asked you to consider leading a small group in your church. Perhaps theyre hoping you and your spouse will together lead a couples group. Or youve been asked to lead a group of singles, men, or women.

After praying about the matter, you said yes. You want to make a difference for Gods Kingdom. Your greatest joy is seeing God change peoples lives. Youre willing to do whatever it takes to assist in the ministry of your church.

However, despite everything, you feel ill-equipped to lead a group. Like many Christians, your desire to minister exceeds your knowledge of how to do so. Yet you want to be better prepared to do the work God has for you.

My hope is that this book will add several useful items to your ministry tool belt combining scriptural guidelines with practical ideas for leading your small group more effectively. By Gods grace, and through your attention to what his Word teaches, you can shepherd your group well. Healthy, focused groups will change lives and change your church.

If you feel youre not qualified, youre exactly right. Apart from God himself, nobodys up to the task. However, when you realize youre not enough, youll find that God is more than enough. He will surely reward your faithfulness.

Kevin Mills

W HEN I FIRST MET Zach and Ashley, they were recent college graduates. Both had grown up going to church most Sundays. Zachs family lived in a rural community and attended a small country church. Ashleys family lived in a suburb and were members of a traditional, mainline-denomination church. But by the time they met, during their sophomore year in college, neither one was going to church other than for the obligatory Easter and Christmas services with their families. Though both would say they were Christians, their faith made only a minimal difference in their lives.

They dated throughout college, married after graduation, and accepted jobs in our suburban community. After purchasing their first home, they began to settle into their new life together.

My small group leader at the time lived across the street from Zach and Ashley. One evening, he and his wife, with a pound cake in hand, walked over to greet their new neighbors. Zach and Ashley knew virtually no one in our community and were excited to meet another couple. They stood in the front doorway and talked for more than an hour. As they parted ways, my small group leader said to Zach and Ashley, You know, theres a group that meets at our house on Thursday nights for a Bible study. Wed love to have you join us. Just come on over at seven oclock if youre interested.

The previous year had been such a whirlwind of activity getting engaged, planning for and having the wedding, moving to a new community, and starting new jobs that Zach and Ashley hadnt discussed church or much of anything else about their spiritual lives. However, they were looking for friendships, and this was their first opportunity to meet some new people.

The next Thursday, they nervously walked across the street. I first met them standing in the kitchen of my small group leaders home. They didnt ask, and I didnt volunteer that I was a pastor. At no point did anyone in our small group announce that we all attended the same church. We read from the Bible, we discussed the passage, and we prayed for one another. Zach and Ashley left at the end of the night, and I privately wondered if theyd return.