Kate Middleton - Self Harm: The Path to Recovery

People call self harm all kinds of things a phenomenon, a mental health problem I have even heard it referred to as a maladaptive tool for emotional regulation. But what I know most of all is that self harm is a real thing that affects real people.

Self harm can be very frightening, and not just for people on the outside. Often the people who are most scared are those who are doing it. One thing that working with people who are struggling with all kinds of emotional and psychological problems has taught me, however, is that normal people can be driven to do things that feel very extreme when they are under the pressure of extraordinary emotions. They havent gone crazy, and they are usually no less normal than any of the rest of us.

My little girl has a book about a strange creature hiding behind a curtain. It makes unusual noises and terrifies the characters as they wonder what is hiding there. Its a lot less scary when they find out its a dog! You see, almost anything can be frightening if you dont know what it is. And thats often a big part of the problem with self harm. Self harm can be scary, dangerous and out of control, but that doesnt mean that it cant be explained and understood. This book is about trying to help people understand it better, and we hope that helps it become a lot less frightening.

In this book, in between the chapters talking about the theory and practical reality of self harm, you will find stories from real people talking about their experiences of self harm. I cant thank enough the people who shared their stories with us. I hope that these will help you to understand the truth of what self harm is. Remember that everyone is different and every sufferers story of their self harm is different. The personal accounts have not been included to show you what self harm is always like and they are in themselves very different. They are there to give you an idea of the kinds of experiences people have, and to show the very varied paths people can travel as part of their road to recovery.

One thing worth mentioning if you are someone who currently self harms, or who used to, is that we are aware that you may find talking about certain aspects of harming triggering that is, that reading or thinking about them might make you want to harm. Obviously, in a book about self harm we cant avoid these topics and weve done everything we can to prevent triggering. Do be sensible, however. If you know you are vulnerable, then this might not be the book to read when you are on your own or at a low moment. But we hope that overall it will bring you hope.

About the book

This book has three sections. Part 1 looks at what self harm is and who it affects, along with trying to answer some of the questions around why it is so addictive. Part 2 then looks in a bit more detail at some of the emotional, psychological and practical issues behind self harm and offers advice for how to start working on recovery. Part 3 is written for those caring for sufferers, be that as parents or in a professional role. At the end of the book there is some extra information on dealing with scars, along with some links and guidance about where to look for more help.

Because of the nature of the book, some sections are written as though we are speaking just to sufferers, carers or professionals. That doesnt mean that those chapters are not of use if that isnt you so do read them and take what is discussed on board. Although they may be aimed at one group of people in particular, it is likely that wherever you are coming from you will find them interesting and the more you understand about self harm, the better a position you will be in.

This book is written from real-life experiences that Sara and I have had of working with sufferers. I personally have been privileged to work with some fantastic people who have bravely started out on a journey of recovery, and trusted me to show them the way. This book is dedicated to them, and to anyone out there who is facing that struggle now. You are worth so much more than you realize. Please dont give up, and know that recovery and freedom is possible. We pray that this book helps you to start to find some light pricking through the darkness you are living with.

Kate Middleton

I wonder what has brought you to pick up this book today? Some of you will be reading it because you self harm. Some will be trying to find out more about what someone else is doing. Or perhaps you are just trying to find out more about a problem that used to be very unusual or even unheard of and now affects so many people in the UK.

Self harm is something that most people find difficult to understand a destructive impulse that doesnt seem to make sense. Both sufferers and those who care for them sometimes find it hard not to feel critical towards those who self harm, and struggle with feelings of disgust about the wounds and the mess self harm creates. The reality, however, is that for millions of people in the UK right now self harm is something that they do regularly to help them cope with feelings that are out of control. In fact, self harm has increased dramatically in frequency in the UK over the last ten years. What used to be unusual and seen only in a small proportion of mental health patients now occurs in most schools, universities and clinics across the country. To understand why this is happening, we need to understand what self harm is, and how something that seems so destructive can become very addictive.

Lets take the chance right now to explain clearly what we mean by the term self harm. Self harm is generally defined as acting to deliberately injure yourself physically . The exact form of harm varies, and ranges from minor, occasional acts to more serious and regular harm that can require hospital treatment. Some forms of self harm are invisible or do not leave a wound. These can include acts of hitting or punching or taking substances that cause pain or discomfort. Other forms create a visible wound, such as cutting or burning the skin. This kind of self harm is statistically the most common, with around two out of three sufferers saying that they use cutting as their main method. Meanwhile, some other sufferers may show more unusual kinds of self harm, such as deliberately breaking bones or pulling out hairs. Some people always harm in the same way; others use different methods according to what is available at the time. Some sufferers may harm specific parts of their body, whilst others may use anywhere that would be hidden by clothing.