Guy Kettelhack - Vastly More Than That: Stories of Lesbians & Gay Men in Recovery
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Vastly More Than That: Stories of Lesbians & Gay Men in Recovery
Vastly More Than That: Stories of Lesbians & Gay Men in Recovery: summary, description and annotation
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An articulate and thoughtful analysis of gay men and lesbian women navigating the recovery maze explores both the universality of the recovery experience and the special nature of recovery as gay men and lesbian women experience it. Poignant personal stories provide a compassionate look at the struggles and successes of lesbians and gay men in recovery.
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1999 by Guy Kettelhack All rights reserved. Published 1999 Printed in the United States of America No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Kettelhack, Guy. Vastly more than that : stories of lesbians and gay men in recovery / Guy Kettelhack. p. cm. ISBN 1-56838-205-7 1. GaysAlcohol useUnited States. 2. GaysSubstance use United States. 3. AlcoholicsRehabilitationUnited States. 4. AddictsRehabilitationUnited States. 5. Recovering addicts United States. 6. Compulsive behaviorUnited States. I. Title. HV5139.K48 1999 362.292'086'64dc21 98-49510 CIP
Editor's note
All the stories in this book are based on actual experiences. The names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. In some cases, composites have been created.
03 02 01 00 99 6 5 4 3 2 1
Cover design by Theresa Gedig Interior design by Donna Burch Typesetting by Stanton Publication Services, Inc.
Page v
to Gordon Thomas, for the title, Steve Lehman, for his editing and Dan Odegard, for his vision
Page vii
He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
We have shown how we got out from under. You say, "Yes, I'm willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?"
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that.
Alcoholics Anonymous, third edition The "Big Book"
Page ix
Contents
Acknowledgments
x
Chapter One: There's More in Your Sandbox Than You Think
1
Chapter Two: The Secret Strangeness of the Twelve Steps
23
Chapter Three: Filling Out the Map: Is There Help beyond AA?
59
Chapter Four: The Maze of Sex and Love
91
Chapter Five: Courting Sober Dreams: Finding Meaning in Work
133
Chapter Six: A Look at Relapse: The Courage to Change Again
161
About the Author
185
Page x
Acknowledgments
I am deeply grateful to David Groff for having lent me the idea for this book, to Gordon Eugene Thomas whose bright and beautiful mind saw what the book could be, gave it its current title, and ran with itran with it to the extraordinary editorial team at Hazelden: Dan Odegard and Steve Lehman who embraced the book and somehowSteve, especially, who was my on-the-page editortolerated all of the delays and anguish and boulders of resistance I proceeded to put in front of myself before I could actually write the damned thing. These people are "clueless" in the best possible sense of the word: open and receptive and trusting and remarkably able to wed heart to mind in a business whose operating motive usually has to do with a very different kind of bottom line. They richly deserve the dedication they've received in this book.
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