Guy Kettelhack - Third Year Sobriety: Finding Out Who You Really Are

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title	:	Third-year Sobriety : Finding Out Who You Really Are
author	:	Kettelhack, Guy.
publisher	:	Hazelden Publishing
isbn10 | asin	:	1568382324
print isbn13	:	9781568382326
ebook isbn13	:	9780585320991
language	:	English
subject	Alcoholics--Rehabilitation--United States--Case studies.
publication date	:	1998
lcc	:	HV5279.K485 1998eb
ddc	:	362.292/86
subject	:	Alcoholics--Rehabilitation--United States--Case studies.

Page iii Third-Year Sobriety Finding Out Who You Really Are Guy Kettelhack

Page iv Hazelden Center City, Minnesota 55012-0176 1-800-328-0094 (Toll-free U.S., Canada, and the Virgin Islands) 1-651-257-1331 (Fax) www.hazelden.org 1992 by Guy Kettelhack All rights reserved. Originally published by HarperCollins Publishers First published by Hazelden 1998 Printed in the United States of America No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Kettelhack, Guy. Third-year sobriety : finding out who you really are / Guy Kettelhack. p. cm. Originally published: 1st ed. San Francisco : HarperSanFrancisco, 1992 (Harper sobriety series ; v. 3). Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 1-56838-232-4 1. AlcoholicsRehabilitationUnited StatesCase studies. I. Title. HV5279.K485 1998 362.292'86dc21 9828443 CIP 02 01 00 6 5 4 3 2 Book design by Will H. Powers Cover design by David Spohn Typesetting by Stanton Publication Services, Inc. Editor's note The first-person stories in this book accurately reflect the feelings, experiences, and circumstances expressed by recovering individuals, but all names, locations, and identifying details have been changed.

Page v Contents Author's Note vii Acknowledgments ix Introduction Going Deeper: The Doubts, Discoveries, and Abundance of Third-Year Sobriety 3 One Rewards: A New System 11 Two Dealing with Other Addictive Behaviors 34

Page vi Three Being Open, Setting Boundaries: Third-Year Relationships 58 Four What Does the Program Mean to Me Now? 83 Five Where's the Villain? A New Sense of Accountability 105 Suggested Reading 129 About the Author 133

Page vii Author's Note I'm a recovering alcoholic, and a writer who has grappled for some time with how to express what "recovery" means. The triumph and beauty of recovery from addiction is, to me, endlessly fascinating. Seeking to understand what goes on in recovery seems to me to be exploring what it means to become fully human. So far, the best way I've found to convey the miraculous consciousness I find in recovery is simply to report what I hear from other recovering people. I've tried to be a kind of journalistic spongesoaking up information, attempting to pass it on with as little interference as possible. This approach brings me one especially happy dividend: The sponge, as it soaks up information about recovery, ends up profiting as much as anyone else. The adventure of sobriety chronicled in this and other books I've done applies to me too. The bottom line is that I feel like a wide-eyed kid listening to what other people tell me about their recoveryas excited and grateful to have been helped by their experience, strength, and hope as I hope you will be too, reading about it in these pages. The spirit of this book can be expressed simply: We're all in this together. What I hope to do here is to offer you, via the voices and insights of hundreds of recovering alcoholics and drug addicts I've

Page viii listened to across the country, a rich sense of the strange, sometimes frightening, usually baffling, but ultimately wonderful adventure sobriety can mean. Whatever year, month, day, hour, or moment of sobriety you may be facing right now, you will, I hope, find strong evidence herein that you can get through it in full consciousness: You don't have to pick up a drug or a drink. That's the main testament of the people whose stories you'll read here, and the main message of hope. It's our experience that life lived consciously just about always beats life lived blindly. I hope you'll let the people in this book show you how and why, one day at a time, we've found that to be true.

Page ix Acknowledgments Every one of the recovering men and women whose stories are chronicled in this series is owed a debt of gratitude I cannot ever hope to repay, except, perhaps, by passing on their messagethat we can all live more fully, joyfully, and consciously, no matter what our "stage" of sobrietyto as wide an audience as possible. I am thankful to them, and to you, for teaching me that we can all live sober and satisfying lives.

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