Heather Holleman - Seated with Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison

2015 by
HEATHER HOLLEMAN

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Published in association with the literary agency of D.C. Jacobson and Associates LLC, 537 SE Ash Street, Suite 203, Portland, OR 97214.

Edited by Pam Pugh

Author photo: BowerShots Photography

Interior design: Ragont Design

Cover design: Erik M. Peterson

Cover photo of table setting copyright 2015 by Alicia Magnuson Photography/Stocksy (#544499). All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Holleman, Heather E.
Seated with Christ : living freely in a culture of comparison / Heather Holleman, PhD.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8024-1343-7
1. ContentmentReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Christianity and culture. 3. Social comparison. I. Title.
BV4647.C7H65 2015
234--dc23

2015017415

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Printed in the United States of America

Part One:
TAKE YOUR SEAT

Part Two:
SEATED AND SET FREE

Part Three:
SEATED AND SURRENDERED

Part Four:
SEATED AND SENT

Friend,

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For Ashley, Sarah, and Kate

I cant stand me!

Its all I could think of when I got out of the hospital, wheeled through the front door of my home, and encountered the big mirror in our hallway. What I saw crushed me. I was no longer the tall, tanned, most likely to succeed good-looking girl heading to college. The mirror reflected a sad and swollen-faced quadriplegic, sitting frumpy and askew in an oversized wheelchair. And I hated it.

It didnt help that most of my girlfriends were heading out of state to top-notch universities, or flashing big engagement rings, or landing classy jobs in downtown high-rises. The cosmic dice had rolled in their favor, but I had lost out. My hands didnt work and my feet didnt walk, all because of a stupid dive and a broken neck.

Yet looking back, it was the best thing that couldve happened to me.

From then on, I realized that comparing myself to others was seriously scary; it was emotional suicide. Besides, I knew I was in trouble when Id measure myself up against a well-dressed store mannequin and come out on the losing end. Something had to change, and fast! My sense of security and significance simply had to come from somewhere, from Someone beyond me.

My diving accident made me see that life on my feet had been a frenetic cycle of comparing and competing with others. I was a Christian at the time, but suddenly a simple verse like Romans 12:2 seemed written for me: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods will ishis good, pleasing and perfect will.

Humbled by my paralysis, I sought peace of mind and heart in a renewed understanding of my relationship with Jesus. My wheelchair became the prison that set me freeI learned how to grieve my losses in a healthy way and move forward in hope. I kept my eyes riveted on Jesus, and it made all the difference in the world. Over the years, Ive come to see that Jesus is ecstasy beyond compare, and it is worth anything to be His friend.

I look back on that tall, tanned college-bound girl and wonder, Does everyone caught in the culture of comparison need something drastic to initiate change? An awful injury or loss? Thankfully, no! And this is why I am so heartened you are holding this remarkable book in your hands.

Seated with Christ is a wise and practical guide that will help you break free of feelings of failure and worthlessness. Heather Holleman has written a stellar work that plumbs the deepest recesses of our hearts, revealing ways in which weve all become tainted by our post-Christian culture. She has a Spirit-breathed ability to show you when you are promoting yourself when you are trapped in people pleasing and how you can rise above self-doubt and delusions.

So flip the page and get started. And please, dont plow through this book too quickly. Read its lessons prayerfully and act on their counsel intentionally. Get to the root of what ensnares you and take new, fresh steps toward freedom. Next to your Bible, this special book is your best companion in breaking free of our culture of comparison. Enjoy what it means to be seated with Christ. And the best news is, you dont have to break your neck to do it.

JONI EARECKSON TADA

Joni and Friends International Disability Center

I ache for something I cannot name.

LAUREN SLATER, American psychologist

I was thirty-seven years old when I discovered a vital truth about Jesus.

A lightning bolt of realization hit me on a summer day in late July as I wondered over the phrase in Ephesians 2:6 that God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus. I closed my eyes and began to think about my life.