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Janet Davis - My Own Worst Enemy: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

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Janet Davis My Own Worst Enemy: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back
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Practical advice and encouragement for women who want to break the cycle of shame and self-doubt to achieve their full potential.

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2012 by Janet Davis Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire - photo 1

2012 by Janet Davis

Published by Bethany House Publishers

11400 Hampshire Avenue South

Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

www.bethanyhouse.com

Bethany House Publishers is a division of

Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan

www.bakerpublishinggroup.com

Ebook edition created 2012

Ebook corrections 02.22.2013

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-7012-2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations identified The Message are from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked nasb are from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.lockman.org

The stories of women in this book are true. Some names and specific details have been altered to honor privacy.

This book is based on the experience of the author. It is not intended to take the place of professional or pastoral counseling.

The Internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

Cover design by Connie Gabbert

This work is dedicated to the women in my world who have dared to shine, showing me the way forward.

Almighty God, you proclaim your truth in every age by many voices: Direct, in our time, we pray, those who speak where many listen and write what many read; that they may do their part in making the heart of this people wise, its mind sound, and its will righteous; to the honor of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Book of Common Prayer

Contents
Foreword

Janet Davis came into my life unexpectedly. A listener to Midday Connection , the radio program I host, sent me one of her books and recommended I interview her. Its one thing to get a free book from a publisher, something that happens daily in my line of work. Its quite another for a person to invest money and time in buying a book, writing a letter, then paying to send it in hopes that the person on the other end listens to their request. I took this all into consideration when Janets book arrived along with the heartfelt letter that accompanied it. At that point, I had no idea how much Janet would rock my world. As I dug into her writing, I knew she would become a regular guest on the program.

Eventually I invited her to a staff retreat for my small team, and we have never been the same. The retreat happened on Labor Day weekend a few years ago, and we still talk about preLabor Day and postLabor Day thinking.

Janets writing challenges the reader as well as affirms, all while posing thought-provoking questions that linger in the mind. Janet has the audacity to tell me, and all of us, through this book, My Own Worst Enemy , that I can SHINE, that I am called to shine. Since meeting Janet Ive had the courage to write a book and edit two others, to speak up in my workplace and church, and to believe, really believe, that my feminine soulalong with what I bring to the table, wherever I amtruly matters!

What woman has not struggled with self-sabotage or hiding in the process of wanting to make a difference? Our very nature often puts us in a nurturing role where we take a backseat to others and end up believing that the backseat is the only seat we may occupy. Janet has a heart for calling women forward into the fullness of who God created us to be. If you have the courage to read on, and I hope you will, youll become uncomfortable at times as well as encouraged. You will be called to imagine what a life well lived might look like. And as you begin to share your story of transformation, youll have the opportunity to reach out beyond yourself and bring other women along with you.

Janet points us to the power of Christ within us. And when we tap into that power, we will see courage rise. She says that God invites us to partner with him and to be a shining presence. Sometimes, in order to get there, we need a wise mentor to come alongside us. Janet Davis is that wise mentor. She gives us language for what is happening in our interior world and helps expose what keeps us from caring for our souls. In the process, Janet authentically shares her own story. She tells about her own seasons of self-sabotage.

As we see our common struggle, as we hear those internal shaming voices, Janet reminds us of the command found in Matthew 5:16: Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Go SHINE!

Anita Lustrea

Executive Producer and Host of Midday Connection

Author and speaker

Acknowledgments

To my husband, Bob, who welcomes my voice, fosters my growth, and encourages my work.

To our children, Bobby, Jenna, Joel, and Betsy, who ground my life, keep me honest, and broaden my vision.

To the women poets whose work has inspired me, many of whom have generously given me permission to include pieces of their work here.

Thanks to Janay and Melanie: my writing companions. Your friendship was an essential ingredient in this process.

Also thanks to my reading team: Christy, Cathy, Katy, Nancy, Missy, Mary, and Melinda, as well as Tracie, my manuscript formatting expert.

Thanks to the Midday team: Anita, Melinda, and Lori. Your encouragement, both in word and deed, has kept me focused on the importance of this work.

Thanks to my book club friends: Mary and Trisha. You have been my wise midwives in the pregnancy, labor, and delivery of this child.

Thanks also to my spiritual directors consultation group. You have held me with tender compassion as I have sought to allow this message to come alive in me.

Thanks to Andy, a wise man, and the staff of Bethany House, who were willing to listen to and trust the voices of women as they advocated for the healing message of this book to become more broadly available. Thanks also to Ellen, my wise and sensitive editor, who worked hard to make this healing message accessible to more women.

And finally, to the women who have allowed me to tell their stories in this book. Your faith, beauty, and courage inspire me.

Introduction

This Little Light of Mine

The glory of God is [wo]man, fully alive.

Saint Irenaeus

A Curiosity Born: I have met the enemy

I have an offer Id like you to consider. My theology professor Ken and I were having coffee together at a Seattles Best near our school in Kirkland, Washington. Wed been discussing the book of Ruth, an ancient story that had recently captivated me, when he made me an offer I couldnt refuse.

You see things in that story of women that I cant see, he said, the internal dynamics, the relational aspects. We will be doing an overview of Ruth in a few weeks in the Old Testament Survey course you are in. Would you consider teaching a part of the class? You could have as much time as youd like. I really think you have a lot to offer.

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