Paul Tautges - Comfort the Grieving: Ministering Gods Grace in Times of Loss

Praise for Comfort the Grieving

Few have attempted to offer comfort to those who grieve, and fewer have been as successful as Pastor Paul Tautges in this much-needed book. This wonderful little volume is a veritable anthology of practical helps for those who are grieving and for those who minister to their needs. I recommend it as a book for all deacons, elders, pastors, and laypersons. This important tool should be thoughtfully read if we are to minister wisely and effectively to those in our fellowship who will eventually face such times.

Dr. Walter C. Kaiser Jr., president emeritus of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary

Paul Tautges gives pastors and other compassionate caregivers a unique book that is thoroughly biblical and immensely practical. He teaches us how to biblically comfort hurting and dying people, offering pertinent Scriptures, hymns, and poems to use, as well as providing a plan for ministering to those left behind following the death of a loved one. We find here solid ideas for preparing funeral messages that not only comfort the grieving but also challenge the lost with a clear gospel message. I know of no book like Comfort the Grieving. Many how-to books are shallow and devoid of deep theological content. This excellent book is an exception.

Curtis C. Thomas, pastor for over fifty years and author of Life in the Body of Christ

Paul Tautges is a man with a mission to minister to the brokenhearted. He carefully offers a blend of sensitive concern with a proclamation of the gospel in clear, honest language. His thoughts on the theology of grief, as well as the sermons and practical charts in this book, will surely be helpful to those pastors who search for ways to improve this aspect of their own ministries. This book gives us a glimpse into the heart of a pastor who possesses a love for his flock, a sound grasp of the Scriptures, and a calling to comfort the hurting in a biblical, compassionate way.

Deborah Howard, RN, certified hospice and palliative nurse and author of Sunsets: Reflections for Lifes Final Journey and Where Is God in All of This?

Within the pages of Comfort the Grieving we find biblical, insightful, and practical advice for serving those who grieve. Written with the tenderness and understanding of a gentle pastor, this book is a helpful manual for those who guide others through the valley of the shadow of death. I hope it gains wide distribution!

Dr. Les Lofquist, executive director of IFCA International

ZONDERVAN

Comfort the Grieving

Copyright 2014 by Paul Tautges

Previously published in 2009 by Day One Publications under the title Comfort Those Who Grieve

ePub Edition November 2014: ISBN 978-0-310-51934-8

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Tautges, Paul.

Comfort the grieving : ministering Gods grace in times of loss / Paul Tautges ; Brian Croft, series editor.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-310-51933-1 (softcover)

1. Church work with the bereaved. 2. Pastoral theology. I. Title.

BV4330.T38 2015

259.6--dc23

2014023086

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design and illustration: Jay SmithJuicebox Designs

Interior design: Matthew Van Zomeren

14 15 16 17 18 19 /DCI/ 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To the memory of Jean Pitz, a dear sister in the Lord, who always had a word of encouragement for this preacher of the gospel and who would never exchange her place in glory for anything this world has to offer
&
to hospice caregivers everywhere, who sacrificially give of themselves from the heart in order to help others comfortably live through the experience of death

CONTENTS

by Brian Croft

SOME OF THE MOST VALUABLE LESSONS I ever learned as a pastor, lessons that are affirmed year after year, happen in hospital rooms and funeral homes. I have watched sweet elderly saints take their last breath while Im holding their hand and praying for them. I have won over enemies after visiting them as they recover in a hospital room. I have seen despair turn to hope while talking about Christ as Ive sat with a grieving widow at a funeral visitation. These pivotal moments for fruitful ministry exist because the hospital room and the funeral home accomplish something few life moments can. They remind us of our frailty and brokenness. They jolt our hearts into reality when we are tempted to believe we are invincible. They press us to focus on eternal things when we want to live in the temporal.

And yet, ironically, these are places many pastors try to avoid today. Why? Well, this kind of ministry is hard work. It is not glamorous. It requires us to engage our hearts in a way that makes many of us uncomfortable. It involves assuming burdens that are painful to bear. Sometimes no one knows you are doing this ministry except for God and the people you visit. But these types of visits are at the core of our calling as pastors who shepherd Gods flock until the Chief Shepherd returns (1 Peter 5:4). And Im convinced that one of the best ways to recover these essential aspects of pastoral ministry is to equip pastors so they can better care for those who are grieving.

That is why I am excited about this book. Im excited because the content and structure are well suited for equipping pastors and others to comfort those who grieve. After discussing the biblical foundations that show us where our hope comes from in times of grief, Paul Tautges goes on to describe various ways in which a pastor can minister this hope to others. The second section includes sample sermons, and the appendixes offer practical helps. There is advice on writing notes and using songs, and the book contains charts to help in scheduling visits and contacts in the first year of bereavement. Comfort the Grieving contains a concise, clear introduction to the theology and tools you need to shepherd grieving people well.

The second reason I am excited about this book is that it is a key resource in the Practical Shepherding series. One book in the series, Visit the Sick, addresses how to extend care to people through the struggles of sickness, pain, and affliction. Another book, Conduct Gospel-Centered Funerals, addresses the immediate circumstances surrounding a death, including the preparation of a funeral sermon and logistics of working with funeral homes. Although hospitals and funeral homes are key places to do ministry, they are not the only places where grief is experienced. Much of the grieving process requires extended care that takes place long after the immediate circumstances of the hospital and funeral home.