Gavin Harrison - In the Lap of the Buddha

A profoundly hopeful book that teaches people how to cope not only with the trauma of abuse and the onslaught of disease, but also with the tribulations of daily life. It is a book about becoming more aware and compassionate toward ourselves and our loved ones.

Natural Health

The heartfelt prose rings true, as do the parallels between the lives of contemporary Americans and the life of Siddartha Gautauma; and Harrisions life itself, here documented, convincingly makes the case that Buddhist meditation practices are not a path away from life but rather a road into and through it.

Publishers Weekly

Courageous and articulate... a powerful presentation by an effective writer who uses Buddhist teaching and meditative practice to effect a triumph of the human spirit.

Library Journal

I read many books by people transformed by suffering. In the Lap of the Buddha rises above other books with its wisdom and beauty. Let it guide you and teach you to live.

Dr. Bernie S. Siegel, author of Love, Medicine, and Miracles

With penetrating mindfulness, Gavin Harrison uncovers the roots of suffering and the path to wholeness. The healing he seeks, though stimulated by fearsome childhood abuse and an HIV diagnosis, is in truth the healing we all seek.

Stephen Levine, author of Healing into Life and Death

This wonderfully wise and warm book brings the timeless teachings of the Buddha to life, reminding us that every challenge, every trial, is grist for the mill of awakening to the compassionate heart of our own true nature. The authenticity and deep humanity of Gavin Harrison shine out from every page of this book. It is truly a jewel.

Joan Borysenko, author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind

ABOUT THE BOOK

In this book a teacher of insight meditation offers personal testament, healing words, and wise instruction to help meet the suffering that comes with catastrophic life events. Speaking openly about his own struggles with memories of childhood sexual abuse and with the HIV diagnosis he received in 1989, Gavin Harrison reveals how compassion offers refuge and help for all who suffer from similar crises of body, heart, and spirit. Among the topics covered are:

• Dealing with fear, anger, and self-hatred
• Working with difficult relationships
• Confronting physical pain and the fear of death
• Transforming the legacy of sexual abuse
• The question of karma and Why me?
• Grappling with issues of faith, freedom, hope, and miracles
• Basic insight meditation instructions, plus guided meditations for forgiveness, compassion, and equanimity

GAVIN HARRISON teaches at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts.

JOSEPH GOLDSTEIN began exploring meditation as a Peace Corps volunteer in Thailand. Following extended meditation retreats with various teachers in India and Burma, including the renowned Buddhist meditation master Anagarika Sri Munindra, he cofounded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. He has taught numerous meditation classes, workshops, and retreats in America and abroad over the last eight years and is one of the founders and primary teachers of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. He is also the author of The Experience of Insight, Insight Meditation, and One Dharma and coauthor of Seeking the Heart of Wisdom.

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IN THE LAP OF THE BUDDHA

Gavin Harrison

Foreword by

JOSEPH GOLDSTEIN

SHAMBHALA

Boston & London

2013

Shambhala Publications, Inc.

Horticultural Hall

300 Massachusetts Avenue

Boston, Massachusetts 02115

www.shambhala.com

1994 by the Dharma Foundation

Cover art: Shakyamuni Buddha (detail), The State Hermitage, St. Petersburg. Photo by John Bigelow Taylor, N.Y.C.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Harrison, Gavin.

In the lap of the Buddha / Gavin Harrison: foreword by Joseph Goldstein.

p. cm.

eISBN 978-0-8348-2875-9

ISBN 0-87773-995-1

1. MeditationBuddhism. 2. MeditationTherapeutic use. I. Title.

BQ5612.H37 1994 94-9907

294.3443dc20 CIP

BVG 01

To my teachers, Michele McDonald-Smith and Joseph Goldstein, with love, gratitude, and deep respect.

To my mother, Adelaide Harrison, whose love, care, and support have made the journeyeasier in so many ways.

To Carol Drexler, with appreciation and great respect.

All are nothing but flowers

In a flowering universe.

NAKAGAWA SOEN-ROSHI

In the midst of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

ALBERT CAMUS

The temple bell stops

But the sound keeps coming out of the flowers.

BASHO

Contents

I first met Gavin Harrison in Johannesburg, South Africa, in 1981. From that beginning meditation weekend, Gavin has become a longtime student, friend, and colleague whose special gifts now shine so profoundly through this book. Through an extraordinary journey of suffering, shared in these times by so many others, Gavin has forged an understanding infused with wisdom and compassion. It is a wisdom grounded in the meditation practice of the Buddhas teachings, and a compassion born from his own great open heart.

How do we cope with the trauma of abuse, with the onslaught of disease, or with the simple tribulations of our daily life? And in the midst of it all, how can we connect with the purity of awareness that remains our unfailing refuge? In the Lap of the Buddha points us to the inner strength and courage we all have, although sometimes overlook.

A deeply personal odyssey gave birth to this book. A timeless wisdom emerges from it. I am grateful to Gavin for this gift of Dharma. Only someone who lives the teachings could have written it.

JOSEPH GOLDSTEIN

Barre, Massachusetts

New Year, 1994

On July 9, 1989, I was diagnosed HIV positive. Nothing could have prepared me for the impact of this information. It feels as though no part of me has remained untouched by the reverberations of the diagnosis.

Central to the unfolding of these last years has been the practice of insight meditation, which is outlined fully in this book. The inner journey has been deeper, richer, and also more terrifying and challenging than I ever could have imagined. The highs have been glorious and the lows dark and often very difficult. I dont know how I ever could have weathered the storms, had spiritual practice not been a full part of my life.

The impact of the diagnosis opened a door to memories of sexual abuse in my infancy. This information has unquestionably intensified the experience of these last years. Yet it has all been workable, to some degree. Not easy, clearly challenging, but it has been possible to hang in there with the storms as they blow through.

When I look back over the years of meditation practice before July 1989, I see that there was a readying and a ripening happening from the very beginning. The process of inner exploration and inquiry undoubtedly served me at the time of the diagnosis, but the unfolding of the practice clearly began in the moment I committed myself to being more careful and awake.