Doña Bernadette Vigil - Mastery of Awareness: Living the Agreements

THE GRANDMOTHERS

The

grandmothers

of

Wisdom

Whispered in

my

ear

as the

Sound

of

their voices

echoed

in my heart

the echo

Cracked

a Doorway

to a place

that only

the

Grandmothers

can share

the birth

hole

of darkness & coldness,

as I am floating

in the veins

of the

Mothers Body

to

Become

every part of

her existence

to pass only

to know the

Secret,

Is only a

Joke

as The

Grandmothers

Laugh.

DOA BERNADETTE VIGIL

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Gratitude and Respect
to the Mirrors Called Teachers

My mother Aurora Leyva Vigil (saint); my father Ramon Jose Duran Vigil (provider and rock); grandmothers Dolores Nieto Leyva (curandera and survivalist) and Dolores Duran Vigil (partera, midwife); Sister Julita; Dr. Sherrie Abend-Fels; Lama Karma Dorji; don Miguel Ruiz; doa Gaya Jenkins; Gurumayi; Sathya Sai Baba; the sunsets that transformed my vision of Awakening; the moon, stars, trees, and all the animals that shared their lives with me as tremendous Unconditional Love; and especially Hiquitie, and myself.

Fellow Mirrors

Doa Gaya Jenkins, North; myself, South; doa Gini Gentry, East; doa Rita Rivera, West.

Don Luis Molinar, Victoria Molinar, Trey Jenkins (Ramakrishna Ananda), don Pedro.

Comadres

Elena Avila, Gina Herrera, Reyna Luna, and Gabriela Lopez Waterman.

To The Warriors Who Trusted My Mirror

Arlene Broska, doa Wanda Lobito, don Nicola Prassinos, doa Margarita Sanchez, don Chris Doxon, don Alvaro Sanchez, Catharine Marzalik, Preetie Keel, Rhonan Heitzmann, David Norget, Tess Carvajal, Lennie Tan, Gayle Dawn Price, Liz Forrest, Gloria Valencia, Brandt Morgan, Mitra Sarkosh, Andrea Usher, M. Luisa Guerrero, Lynda Foishe, Michael Humphery, Rudy Miera, Sandra Grueiro, Heidi Shepherd, Christinea Johnson, Jean Rael, Kate Dow Gaur, Manish Gaur, Mersedeh Kheradmand, Federique Botermans, Gabby Peprisan, Samuel Rutenberg, Luis Kahn, Sandra Lee Tatum, Viola Vigil, Belinda Trujillo, Jeanne and Jennifer Jenkins, Tita Weems, Brian Claro, Juan Antonio Lopez, Wilma Leon, Tomas Reale, Patricia Klesinger, Dolores Vigil Cruz, Alicia Maes, Pat Lessard, Deidre Bainbridge, and Gerard.

Special Thanks

Inner Traditions International and Bear & Company; Arlene Broska; and Barbara Moulton.

FOREWORD

The Mastery of Awareness is an excellent recapitulation of more than ten years of hard work on doa Bernadettes journey down the path of freedom. This is a fascinating description of the transformation of a woman who lived her life victimized by her own beliefs and judgments about the role of a woman in society.

Doa Bernadette began a rebellion against the suffering that women have endured for many centuries, a rebellion against the roles that many women have assumed as helpless victims of society. In her lifetime, she saw many women who had become victims condemned to suffer endless abuse. Doa Bernadette did not want to become another victim of injustice, so she chose to seek the path of enlightenment and the path of the spiritual warrior.

On her journey, as doa Bernadette discovered the deception of her point of view and the self-abuse that it produced, she began to see the pain that all of her beliefs caused her. She had hidden for too long behind the masks of righteousness, pride, and vanity. Recovering her awareness was an extremely painful acknowledgment of the truth and the lies of her creation. In this book, doa Bernadette describes every step of her long and dedicated journey with words spoken directly from the heart. With touching authenticity, she shares her transformation from a helpless victim into a woman of power and wisdom.

Doa Bernadette and I have worked together for more than ten years. In the early years she was part of a special group of four women who practiced the Mastery of Transformation or Stalking, which is part of the Mastery of Awareness. Doa Bernadette was my best apprentice and soon became a master and nagual woman of my party. The moment of her enlightenment occurred in Hawaii, and it was then that she chose to transform her point of view completely into one of love.

Since 1994 doa Bernadette has been guiding many apprentices to their freedom. For many years she was my main assistant in different power journeys, and now she is the leader of her own power journeys. The wisdom and love she has shared as a teacher in workshops and classes is now available in this book. Like the many people whose lives have been enriched by doa Bernadettes teachings, you may find in this book the opportunity to change the direction of your life.

Don Miguel Ruiz

INTRODUCTION

MY DESIRE TO BECOME A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR ON THE Toltec path began during my search for happiness and contentment when I was young. In my early years, I was always searching for something. I took a lot of risks and often felt like I was going against societys belief systems. There was always some kind of struggle inside of me. I didnt feel happy or content in life. When I was very young, I believed strongly in the Catholic Church and followed its teaching with all my heart. I explored becoming a cloistered nun or monk. I also visited other churches to see what their intentions were, what their words were, and what their love was. None of them spoke to me.

Finally, I had an awakening when my partner came and told me that our relationship was over. My heart was broken. Out of sadness and self-pity, I decided to go inner tubing up in the mountains. My first time down the mountain on the inner tube, I broke six ribs and was hospitalized. It was New Years Eve. There was a full moon, and it was a blue moon. That was in 1990. My ex-partner would not come to see me in the hospital, and I had only a few visitors. My life felt very empty. I realized that I was really truly alone, and that all of us as human beings must go through our individual processes alone, even when other people are around us.

As a child I had seen visions and spirits. In 1990, as I lay in the hospital bed, I saw images of Jesus on the cross, falling at the speed of light. The visions helped me look at my life. Even though I felt heartbroken that my partner didnt want to be with me, I realized there was something more to life. My life was not about trying to make somebody happy, or wanting somebody to make me happy. I realized that I had to find happiness inside myself. This became my intent. I wanted to feel total contentment and peace, so much so that it wouldnt matter if a partner stayed or left. If a partner chose to leave, it wouldnt ever again take my happiness away. Nothing would.

My accident was an awakening from Spirit, and not really an accident. Spirit was always talking to me, but I just didnt listen, as most people dont. I needed to experience a shake-up in my physical body so that I would have no place to run. I was forced to sit still for weeks in order to heal. That sitting became a time of contemplation and looking at myself. As soon as my six broken ribs healed, I went to the K.S.K. Tibetan Buddhist Center and studied with Lama Karma Dorje for a while. I learned how to meditate. Several months later a friend told me about Don Miguel, a shaman who had come into town. I went to a lecture and then began to study with him. The work was powerful for me. I put 100 percent into it; I had nothing to lose.

While studying with Don Miguel, I took my first power journey to the pyramids of Teotihuacan. I participated in a ceremony of Toltec warriors in the place where they had held ceremonies thousands of years ago. My life began to transform every moment. After the trip, Don Miguel asked me if I wanted to become an apprentice. There were very few apprentices at that time. I agreed. Don Miguel chose four of the women who were studying with him to represent the four directions; I was the South. We began weekly Stalking groups at my home, a beautiful little adobe house that had no electricity and used a woodstove for heat. Many months later another woman and a man who was being trained as a