Jim Morris - The Dreaming Circus: Special Ops, LSD, and My Unlikely Path to Toltec Wisdom

The Dreaming Circus

Jims humor, honesty, and healing are brought together exquisitely in The Dreaming Circus. As a Vietnam veteran, war correspondent, writer, and spiritual seeker, Morris embodies the spirit and essence of a true warrior of the heart. His journey to integrate the wounds and scars of life into art and beauty is an inspiration to all warriors learning to turn trauma into triumph and inner turmoil into transformed peace.

HEATHERASH AMARA, AUTHOR OF WARRIOR GODDESS TRAINING

As a new generation returns from war, they are already struggling to process what they saw, what they did, and what it means. Jim Morris has the wisdom to pass on that can make this transition less difficult. The Dreaming Circus is his finest work yet, detailing his experiences in Vietnam and the journey back home. Filled with introspection and parallels to contemporary conflicts, it is part memoir, part instructional guide, and a book that I will be recommending to friends, peers, and former teammates.

JACK MURPHY, ARMY SPECIAL OPERATIONS VETERAN, JOURNALIST, AUTHOR OF MURPHYS LAW, AND COHOST OF THE TEAM HOUSE

The Dreaming Circus is a trip! Jim Morris is a visceral writer, and the level of adrenaline is so real that youll have to remind yourself that this is a book! Stories of the Vietnam era, of coming alive in our world, right to this present moment, convey the stress, the mess, the passion, and the strange synchronicities of a life lived to the limit. His journey into light, into reconciliation with the chaos and catastrophe that are rings in the Dream Circus, is honest and pure. This book will touch you with its honesty, and ultimately, as a story of healing, it will inspire you!

FRANCIS RICO, SHAMAN, TEACHER, AND AUTHOR OF A SHAMANS GUIDE TO DEEP BEAUTY

Wounded by life and again by war, Jim Morriss rich and compelling narrative takes the reader on his journey through time and space to find himself and understand his place in the universe.

MARVIN J. WOLF, COAUTHOR OFABANDONED IN HELL

To be a great storyteller you must have lived some great stories. The Dreaming Circus is both the tale told and the adventure behind it. Jim takes the reader into a mysterious, beautiful, ruthless dream that he lived as the prerequisite to casting the spell thats become the Dreaming Circus invitation. To join Jim and his cast of characters, compadres, challengers, and shape-shifters into the elusive reality of our minds landscapes is a true adventure. We are worthy of great adventures, and Jim has opened the door to one that youll be fortunate to say yes to.

LEE MCCORMICK, SPIRITUAL TEACHER AND COAUTHOR OF SPIRIT RECOVERY MEDICINE BAG

Jim Morris is a spiritual warrior in the truest sense of the phrase. Unlike most modern spiritual seekers, he comes from the actual world of the warrior, having served several tours in Vietnam. After a good deal of floundering and suffering, he enters the spiritual path, which he pursues with the same intensity and commitment that he brought to his service in every aspect of his life! Morriss story makes a fantastic readwild and fun early on, given depth by the unflinching and honest undercurrent of pain, confusion, and heartache that goads him to search for something more, something that explains and guides and has the power to transform. What he findshis teacher and his community, his pathis full of heart and does transform him in ways that are just as wondrous and wild as anything experienced in youth. You expect the story of someones spiritual journey to be inspiring, and his story is both engaging and entertaining. It is joyfully hopeful as well.

MELISSA TOWNSEND, AUTHOR, ASTROLOGER, PSYCHIC, AND ARTIST

Through the pages of this literary gift, we are invited to tag along through tales of Jim Morriss well lived life and cheer on his warrior spirit as he discovers, embodies, and masters essential truths.

GINI GENTRY, FOUNDER OF THE GARDEN OF THE GODDESS RETREAT CENTER AND AUTHOR OF DREAMING DOWN HEAVEN

Contents

AUTHOR S NOTE

Why I Wrote This Book

I had to write this book, but publishing it was a matter of debate. On the one hand, it might be a public service. On the other hand, it might be merely an exercise in ego gratification. On the other other hand, it might be both.

Those who might find it useful are combat vets for whom readjustment to civil society proves difficult, which is to say all of them, also only sons of single moms and single moms of only sons. It would perhaps be most useful to someone seeking a spiritual path or someone who knows he or she needs something to cope with a confusing and unsatisfying life.

This is not a prescription for the path you must follow but a recommendation that you find a teacher and a community that feels like the right next step. My most ardent wish is that some ex-GI will read this book and say, If this guy can find a path to happiness, then surely there is one for me.

A note: In this book I have used some peoples real names, for some only nicknames, and for others I have used pseudonyms, as seemed appropriate.

All this stuff actually happened, but this is just the way I saw it. I make no pretense of objectivity.

Prologue

We were walking along the rim of the continent, overlooking houses on the steep hill below us, then the Pacific Coast Highway, beach houses, the beach, and the ocean blue and shimmering, the sky clear and cloudless.

Lola was a baby then; my friend Lee McCormick, her father, pushed her carriage. With us were his three-year-old daughter, Bella, and our friend and teacher Ted Raess. Ted is a honey bear of a man, one of don Miguel Ruizs early apprentices, a quiet teacher who imparts more by presence than words.

We walked to the end of the street, to a one-lane dirt track on the brushy hillside. To the left, the ocean stretched to an indeterminate haze on the horizon; it was difficult to tell where the sea left off and the sky began.

After three decades of reading about Toltec shamanism, I had contacted don Miguels publisher for an interview. That interview led to a trip to Teotihuacn, the ancient Toltec city in Mexico, where I met Lee, and, as we were fairly near neighbors in Los Angeles, to a friendship.

Some of don Miguels students had read nothing but his book The Four Agreements. I think it amused my Toltec teachers that I had read all that stuff and advanced so little. Do you know about healing plants? Ted asked. He referred to herbal medicine, practiced in Mexico by curanderos, shaman healers. Don Miguels mother was a curandera, a famous one.

Nope, I said. Its been a literary journey for me.

Lee was writing a book of his own experiences, later published as Spirit Recovery Medicine Bag, part one. I was editing it, a chapter at a time, as he wrote. Hes led a fantastic life: grew up on a cattle ranch in Florida, punched cattle in the morning, surfed in the afternoon, smoked dope and played guitar in the evening. He grew up a cowboy surfer, country-and-western performer, and raging cokehead.

That led to his recovery journey, which did not begin well. He didnt like the way the recovery business was handled, as it involved a lot of shame and denial. What he wanted was to replace dependence on drugs and alcohol with a form of wisdom that led to an effective and satisfying life. He had found it within the pages of