Fred Joyal - Superbold: From Under-Confident to Charismatic in 90 Days

Boldness is a superpower.

What do I mean by that? I mean, compared to average human beings, bold individuals seize life in remarkable, almost unbelievable ways. They run for president. They succeed in business, in careers, in love, and they generally have a really good time. Bold people walk up to supermodels and ask them to dance. They stand in front of audiences and tell jokes, not even minding when people dont laugh. They sing karaokebadlysober. Every weekend. They divorce an unsuitable husband even though their culture forbids it. They sit at the front of the room and ask questions. They start companies. They climb under the velvet ropes to meet a rock star or sneak into a nightclub. Or maybe they refuse to move to the back of the bus, like Rosa Parks. Or theyre a politician who decides he can end slavery or the Cold War.

Most of all, they dont miss out on opportunities, and so they dont have a head full of regrets.

Boldness is a gift, but its not something youre gifted with or born with. Its a gift you give yourself. In other words, boldness is not innate. Thats right. Its not a genetic limitation. Its not a mutation a chosen few are born with. Boldness can be learned. You can develop it. Refine it. Expand it to whatever level you choose. Harness it for your own good, and perhaps the good of the world.

I know, because I learned it. I taught myself to become bolder, and I can teach you.

I see boldness as something even greater than self-confidence. Because bold people arent just confident. They actively pursue things, attempt things, and achieve things that even confident people dont. Boldness is self-confidence in action.

Bold people also get away with things that most people wouldnt dare to attempt. Im not talking about committing crimes here (although it takes quite a bit of boldness to be a cat burglar!). Im talking about work situations, play situations, random encounters, and fleeting opportunities that bold people will leap at without a moments hesitation. They get further, they experience more joy, they pursue their dreams with passion and determination, and when they encounter an obstacle, they leap over, or tunnel under, or power straight through. They dont hesitate.

Thats a word that will come up in this book over and over: hesitation. How often have you hesitated, when in retrospect you should have acted? If youre like most people, and especially if youre under-confident, the list is long. How many times in your life have you missed a great opportunity, a chance to change the course of your life, because you didnt speak up? How many sales have you missed? How many promotions? How many relationships? How many unique moments? How many adventures? How much fun?

But what if you never missed an opportunity again? What if you never had a regret about something you could have done or should have done? How much better would your life be?

Im guessing quite a bit.

As you develop your boldness to others, you will appear charismatic. They will believe you were always that way. But your charisma, which is what you will have, is simply your boldness emanating from you like a positive energy field.

This book is about bringing boldness into your daily life, making it your new default behavior, so you realize the amazing power it gives you, and that it allows you to chase your dreams. More than that, it will give you the stairway to your dreams. Because a dream without a plan is just a daydream. And that plan requires action. Bold action.

Are you shy or bold? Most people would say they are somewhere in-between. But the fact is, in any given situation, you act either shy or bold. There is no in-between. You either spoke up or you didnt. You either hesitated or you didnt. You either acted or you didnt. There is no middle ground. It doesnt matter if you almost spoke up. You still acted either without confidence (shy) or with confidence (bold).

So which one are you?

Heres the main problem: for most people, their response is not in their control. The situation determines whether they can summon boldness or not. So they miss great opportunities, they have tremendous regrets and, conversely, when they do act boldly, they cant figure out how to do it consistently, especially when it would matter the most.

Have you ever walked into a party where you didnt know anyone and then left an hour later without talking to a single person? I have.

Have you ever missed the opportunity to tell someone how interested you were in them? I have.

Have you ever see a famous person, or someone you really admired, and not gone up and talked to them?

Have you ever not asked for something that you really wanted, like a promotion, and then seen someone else ask and get it?

Have you ever avoided doing something that would have been fun, exciting, or satisfying, because you were afraid you might embarrass yourself?

Let me tell you how often Ive done all these things: so often Ive lost track.

So let me do this backward. Ill describe the person who doesnt need this book, and you decide whats true for you.

• If you are confident in every situation and can walk up to any stranger and start a conversation, no matter if its a homeless person or the British prime minister or Beyonc;
• If you dont hesitate for a single second when you see a unique opportunity to participate;
• If you never feel embarrassed drawing attention to yourself;
• If you can ask for the order in every sales pitch;
• If you can comfortably give a person strong criticism and have them still like you;
• If you have the life partner you want;
• If your work is satisfying, and you feel you are advancing in your career as fast as you want;
• If you believe you can communicate your thoughts effectively in any situation;
• If you have zero stage fright;
• If your social circle is as wide and deep as you want it to be.

If all of these are true, then you can stop reading. You dont need this book. However, if someor perhaps allof these things are not true for you, then the techniques in this book can take you as far into boldness as you want to go, all the way to superbold. From wherever you are right now, I can help you get to a place unimaginable to your current self.

The first step is acknowledging you want change. I sincerely believe people who experience shyness dont want to. But they often define themselves with that word, and thats the first belief Im going to attack. You are not shy. You feel shy. Sometimes. Sometimes you behave in a way that is inhibited, reticent, withdrawn, under-confident. That is not what you are, and it is certainly not who you are. You may be short or tall, Black or Hispanic, myopic or bowlegged. You are those things. But shynessand any level of under-confidenceis simply a conditioned behavior that you exhibit. Shyness is not a genetic disorder.