Winona L. Thomas - A Place of Peace: Meditations of a Breast Cancer Survivor

A Place of Peace: Meditations of a Breast Cancer Survivor

Copyright 2016 Winona L. Thomas

All rights reserved by the author. No one part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the permission of the author.

Cover Design: Creativelogoart

ISBN: 978-1-937400-73-6
ISBN: 978-0-578555-83-6 (e-book)

Scripture permissions in Reference Section.

All information is at the sole discretion of the author. Manifold Grace Publishing House, LLC is not responsible for the content.

Printed in the United States of America

Published: Manifold Grace Publishing House,

LLC

Southfield, Michigan 48033

www.manifoldgracepublishinghouse.com

Dedication

I dedicate this book to the many women who have been diagnosed with some form of breast cancer in their lifetime.

To those who are fighting for their survival right now, I stand praying in agreement with you for complete and total healing in your body.

For those who have been through the battle and have come out on top, continue to pray for those who are still in the battle fighting for their survival.

For those who have won the battle and may have been pulled back in; remember, you have fought and won before. Please know that God will allow you to win this battle once again. Don't give up, don't throw in the towel, "stand strong and know that He is God!" (Psalm 46)

Acknowledgments

To my God, my Lord, and my Savior, Jesus Christ, who is the head of my life. I thank Him for saving my soul, for ordering my footsteps, and for using me as His vessel and voice. I thank God for healing my body. It is because of God, I am able to write, I am able to breathe and I am able to live. God is the vine and I am the branch, and without Him I can do nothing. (John 15:5).

I thank God for my supportive and loving family that stood by me through my battle with cancer and all that I have gone through. I am thankful for their prayers and encouragement; I would not trade my family for anything in this world. I am thankful for my daughter, who was just 14 years old at the time of my diagnosis, but God gave her the strength and the courage to fight alongside me.

I thank God for my co-workers that supported me through prayers, encouraging words and gifts. God knew just where to place me during this battle. He already knew.

I thank God for the chemo nurses. Every chemo nurse that I encountered during my treatment was wonderful. God placed me in good hands. I am thankful for my oncologist for being a gentle spirit and an amazing doctor. I thank God for my surgical oncologist who was kind and took her time to ensure I understood every aspect of the surgical procedure.

I am thankful for the friendships God placed around me to be lights of encouragement and support. I am so thankful for their prayers and their conversations.

Last, but certainly not least, I thank God for my spiritual family Detroit World Outreach. To my Bishop and his wife, I am thankful that you are true and you allow the Holy Spirit to minister. To the prayer team, I am so thankful for all of the intercessors for knowing to listen to the voice of God and how to pray. To the Soldiers of Radiance, an awesome cancer support group, I thank you for being a place of safety for me and my daughter, for your many prayers and your encouraging words.

To Manifold Grace Publishing for being a part of the vision to get this book published.

Table of Contents

Prologue ~ Shaken but not Shattered

I can remember the day in July of 2013, not many days after my 43rd birthday, waiting - in fear - to hear the results of my mammogram and biopsy. I could feel two lumps in my right breast and I allowed fear to hinder me from going to the doctor sooner. When I received the call from my Primary Care Physician, I was driving home from work in a tumultuous rain storm in the middle of rush hour traffic. My doctor said, "This would not be a good time to talk and to call me once you make it home." I remember telling my husband of the conversation and thinking to myself this cannot be good news.

Then the phone call came, the doctor said, "The results of your mammogram and biopsy does show you have breast cancer in your right breast." I began fighting back the tears and thinking, "Why Lord? No, this cannot be true." My husband began to speak the word of God to me, trying to encourage me to keep the faith and believe that God is a healer. I tried to believe that and stay strong, but it was incredibly difficult to push past the shocking news of the diagnosis of cancer. My thoughts turned to my fourteen-year-old daughter. How am I going to tell her this news?

I began thinking, Lord I want to live, I want to see my daughter graduate from high school, I want to see her go to college, get married, and have children. I told the Lord I wanted to live. Later that evening I called my mother, who had been with me to get the mammogram and the biopsy. I told her the news as I wept, trying hard to fight back more tears. My mother began to counsel me about my faith in God. She reminded me of the faith I had and what I've been through before and come out of; because of my faith. Her encouragement helped me to gather and remind myself that it's time for me to regain my faith in God. Yes, I have breast cancer, but remember who God is, remember how you have told others who God is and what He can and will do.

As days and weeks went by, coping and being comforted by my family, friends and co-workers, I mentally prepared myself for the battle: the many test and procedures the doctors ordered and the treatment process I would have to go through in order to have my health restored.

I remember the day it seemed the bottom had fallen out from under me; all hell had broken loose in my life. The night I finally decided to tell my daughter about the breast cancer, I remember her trying to guess what the big news was. She gave three guesses before coming to the right answer. She guessed that I had cancer. And when I said yes; she began to cover her face and weep. I pulled her into my arms while she cried. I remember telling her, I'm ok, I am going to get through this. My husband was also trying to comfort her at the same time. I know at the age of fourteen, the last thing a child wants to hear is that their mother has cancer. I'm pretty sure, through the tears, she could vaguely hear anything. All she heard ringing in her ears and mind is that mom has breast cancer.

On that same night, my husband and I got into a big argument and, for me, a decision to choose life or death had to be made. The argument escalated to the point that I made the decision to leave my home and the mental decision to leave my marriage; that night. My daughter and I stayed with my sister for the remainder of the week. I went to work, to doctor's appointments, at the same time dealing with a level of stress that became too overwhelming for me to handle.

I knew in my mind that in order for me to prepare myself for this battle with cancer and continue to live, something in my life had to change. I needed to de-stress, stop worrying, still be a mom to my daughter who had just started her first year of high school. I still had go to work without letting it be known what was going on in my life. Once, I made the decision to separate from my husband, I began to feel some form of peace. I remember being so excited that week because I could do something I had wanted to do for at least a year, and that was to join the church I had been visiting for more than five years.

When I joined (now my home church) Detroit World Outreach, I also began feeling a certain freedom. It was not a freedom that I was separating from my husband, but it was a freedom in God that I so desperately needed. I remember in one of the Sunday services, the Bishop gave an altar call for those who had been diagnosed with cancer. I went up for prayer and the prayer minister prayed and then she said, "God was giving me a new peace in my body." When I heard those words, I knew that God was with me and I believed - yes, He was giving me a new peace. He had given me a freedom to live in Him and I could receive the healing I needed in my body without the stress and worry of what I was going through.