Jonathan Sheinberg - Hollywood Steps 101: My prescriptions for dealing with addiction, depression, OCD, bi-polar disorder and anxiety.

Hollywood Steps
101

My prescriptions for dealing with
addiction, depression, OCD, bi
polar disorder and anxiety.

Jonathan Sheinberg

iUniverse, Inc.

New York Lincoln Shanghai

Hollywood Steps 101

My prescriptions for dealing with addiction, depression, OCD,
bi-polar disorder and anxiety.

Copyright 2006 by Jonathan Sheinberg

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN-13: 978-0-595-35864-9 (pbk)

ISBN-13: 978-0-595-80321-7 (ebk)

ISBN-10: 0-595-35864-0 (pbk)

ISBN-10: 0-595-80321-0 (ebk)

Contents

Turning Grandiosity into
Peace

For Susan, my wife, my Angel and motivation.

For my children, Thea, Nicholas and Harry who always stood by me.

To my Mother, my true friend, and my Father, the model to living life in the honest lane.

This book could not have been written without the support and guidance of my shrink, Dr. Phil Stutz, Father of X. Dr. Stutz gave me the tools and guidance I needed to heal. He didnt write me off as a lunatic or an imbecile, but as a bright guy who just needed some discipline, structure and consistency in his life.

When you re feeling powerless, out of control, when access is limited to you and your wife, when your kids, your business, and your self-discipline are all going to hell, study the principles in this book to regain the power to go on.

Famed Hollywood Executive Tumbles Into Addiction Chaos and Recovers. It is not only a tabloid cover; it is the story of my life.

Faced with constant uncertainty and inner numbness throughout my life, I turned to drugs and gambling. In this book, I will share how I overcame addiction, anxiety, depression and developed coping methods for dealing with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Over the years, I found that it had been hard for me to feel. I had already felt a wild ride with train trips, all-nighters, disco days, an early marriage, a love child and a phenomenal career in the entertainment business.

Growing up in Beverly Hills, I got the opportunity to do things that most people only got to dream of doing. My father, Sid Sheinberg, served as President and Chief Operating Officer of MCA/Universal Studios, and I lived the good life as a teenager. My beautiful mother, Lorraine Gary who made her debut in Jaws was just as into acting as she was politics. Me, I started various businesses, owned many cars, credit cards, and signed various recording deals. There was even a point in time when I lived in Switzerland and got to travel throughout Europe to enjoy the worlds most beautiful architecture. I cannot imagine anything will ever top the years of my youthful indulgence.

Throughout my life my dad constantly reminded me that Universal had a no nepotism rule so I knew I could never work there. Perhaps that was why I developed such a street mentality? I wanted to do everything by myself. I wanted to make it on my own and I did not want or need the help of anyone. Still, I walked around with extreme sadness, a negative self-image, and an overwhelming fear that I would never achieve the level of success my father did.

Between my busy Hollywood jobs, marriage and fathering my love child, I found myself and my loved ones suffering. Forget the weight fluctuations and the glum look on my wifes face; I was suffering internally. I turned to the occasional use of drugs and later adopted a gambling hobby. At this point in my life, I was yet to be diagnosed as highly neurotic and I had feelings of inadequacy. I was working my ass off at Columbia Pictures on some huge pictures like Absence of Malice, Blue Lagoon, Stir Crazy, Stripes, Tootsie, Gandhi and The Big Chill, before I left to go work at Orion Pictures where as head of production, I worked on the films Robocop, Platoon, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Throw Momma from the Train, Hoosiers, Bull Durham, and Silence of the Lams. Unfortunately, the Academy Awards we won were not enough to save my life.

My life fell apart. My marriage deteriorated very quickly and I had my first encounter with rehab. I entered a one-year outpatient treatment program at St. Johns Hospital in Burbank, California. The program saved my life and gave me the strength to get through some very difficult times, including an investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC).

That sober time in my life brought back feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy. Simultaneously, it marked a wonderful time in my life where I had a chance to start over with a new wife and my beautiful young daughter.

If only you werent so defective Jon. You are a dyslexic idiot. My inner voice started to eat away at me. I took special education classes and because being an outcast wasnt enough, I was also feeling neglect from my father. The ensuing fury over being discovered as a kid with a learning disability came back, along with the internal labelanother Hollywood offspring screwed up.

Faced with the past pains and the desire to live a happier and healthier life, I began the journey to overcoming feelings of inadequacy, insecurity and anxiety. Along the way, I developed the Hollywood Steps and learned to live and enjoy each day more fully.

As a teenager, I was always starting businessesentering into legal contracts, getting credit cards, buying cars, signing recording deals. Reflecting back, I realize what I enjoyed most was the thrill that along came with those transactions.

I had a few different jobs in the industry during my three years of high school. Whether I was working for a high-powered entertainment and management firm in Hollywood, or as an agent at a major Hollywood agency, I was learning the business of entertainment my way. After college, I worked my ass off, first in the advertising department at Columbia Pictureson pictures like Absence of Malice, Blue Lagoon, Stir Crazy, Stripes, Tootsie, Gandhi, and Big Chillthen at Lorimar Television as an executive in the TV movie departmenton shows like Dallas, Knotts Landing, and Falcon Crest.

I took a job as an executive at 20th Century Fox and saw what a major studio did firsthand. After my stint at 20th Century Fox, I received the opportunity to join Orion Pictures as head of production, where I worked on films like Robocop, Platoon, Dirty Rotten

Scoundrels, Throw Mamma from the Train, Hoosiers, Bull Durham, Silence of the Lambs, and a slew of others.

I decided to get focused. I realized that I needed to stay engaged in Hollywood. I knew all the players and the game they were playing. I went on to work at Warner Bros. and produce some very successful films.

When my father chose to leave Universal in 1984, there came an unprecedented opportunity for my father Sid, my brother Bill, and myself to start our own production company and make films at our discretion. The new business would be lucrative, but the stress of getting the company started was hell.

I found myself in trouble when all of my old feelings returned yet again. My father, who was always a studio executive, was now a producer. I always saw myself as this successful guy who made it without working for my dad. My brother really looked up to me. Yes, I had made mistakes, but I also was the oldest and I already had a child. I had experienced things in life that he had not just yet.

Our company made some great films, but of course at some cost to my health and well being. I eventually started using again to stop the pain. Unfortunately, this time the drugs and drinking wasnt enough. I added poker and sports betting to the mix.