Michelle McKinney Hammond - The Real Deal on Love and Men: Getting Smart about Dating, Romance, and Living Happily Ever After

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

F rom the time Adam and Eve got booted out of the Garden of Eden, relationships have been a mystery that men and women have talked about, sung about, ruminated over, and struggled with. Love has often been the elephant in the roomhard to ignore yet tough to conquer. How could something that everyone wants be so hard to find and keep? That is the million-dollar question.

In an effort to find and keep love, I believe weve grown far too polite in our approach. We talk around, over, and under the issue with potential partners. Afraid of stepping on toes and scaring each other away, we fail to ask the questions we should, set the boundaries we need, and have the conversations that are crucial to discerning whether this love is the one we want and deserve. Its time to flip the script on dancing around the issue! Lets have a down to the nitty-gritty discussion about what makes love happen and what destroys it. Lets discover how to approach love using our brains while following our hearts.

Over the years Ive penned quite a few relationship books, including What to Do Until Love Finds You , Secrets of an Irresistible Woman , How to Be Found by the Man Youve Been Looking For , 101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention , and What Women Dont Know and Men Dont Tell You. You wouldnt believe some of the mail Ive received in response. Some people want to share their comments, their thoughts, and their love lives. Some ask questions that make me scratch my head and ask, Chile, did you read my book? But I do get it. People read my books and then write to ask questions Ive already addressed because they hope Ill give them a different answer. After all, their situations are special, arent they? Yeah, right!

Trust me, there are no special situationsreally. Only our propensity to complicate life and love much more than necessary by trying to write our own scripts rather than follow the laws of the Spirit that hold true whether we like them or not. There are very basic principles that apply to life and love. When we stick to the program and apply the principles to our lives, they will work for us. If we dont, we blow it big time. The bottom line is most people allow their decisions to be based on their emotions instead of making smart choices and then making their emotions line up with that. This creates a huge problem called disappointment or, in clearer terms, heartbreak because the desired end isnt achieved. Then we want special advice and help for what is really a basic problem. Though it might not feel very basic at the time, if we honestly assess our situation, we would have to admit that a basic principle was violated or a clear cue was ignored that led us and our hearts to a place of pain.

Perhaps you were truly innocent and wouldnt have recognized the cues if theyd walked up and slapped you in the face. That is possible. Love is the one vocation in life that no one studies for. We often learn some of our cues from unrealistic movies where people have magical encounters and passionate love affairs without any of the work needed to secure love in real life or any of the consequences of violating Gods principles when the music stops playing.

Unfortunately, you probably do have to know a few things your mama might not have told you about to get the love you want and need. Though you must include spiritual principles in your love repertoire, love cant be solely spiritualized. A balance of pragmatism and practicality must be blended with the spiritual side to get the best outcome in every area of your life. In other words, dont just follow your heart. You need to also listen to the Holy Spirit and use your head.

So here are my tell the truth and shame the devil answers to many of the questions Ive fielded over the years. Hopefully the information will help you navigate your search for love with better results than what youve been getting. No one likes the taste of medicine, but when you take it you get well. So stop nursing and rehearsing unhealthy habits that keep you in a state of flux about love. Its time to get heart smart and love wise once and for all.

Whats the real deal on love and men? Dig in, my friend. Im not afraid to tell the truth, and the truth has been known to set sisters free!

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011, by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, Copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

Verses marked AMP are taken from The Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Verses marked ESV are from The ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Cover illustrations iStockphoto / Thinkstock

Cover by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Inc., Minneapolis, Minnesota

Michelle McKinney Hammond is represented by the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Ste #200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920. www.alivecommunications.com.

THE REAL DEAL ON LOVE AND MEN

Copyright 2013 by Michelle McKinney Hammond

Published by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McKinney Hammond, Michelle

The real deal on love and men / Michelle McKinney Hammond.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-7369-4958-3 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-4959-0 (eBook)

1. Manwoman relationshipsReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. LoveReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. MenPsychology. 4. WomenPsychology. I. Title.

BT705.8.M42 2013

241'.6765dc23

2013012421

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To all those who long to find love that lasts.

To those who just want a real, truthful, and practical dialogue on how to navigate through the curious path of dating, mating, and relating.