Michelle McKinney Hammond - In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man: The One God Approves and a Woman Wants

Michelle McKinney Hammond never wastes even a second of your time. She skirts no issues, never runs from controversy, and consistently engages her readers in authentic and entertaining dialog. She is so quick-witted, outrageously funny, and she holds your attention from start to finish. This is one of her most perceptive books. It s right on the mark. It goes to the heart of the ever-present man-woman debate, and it weighs in on the side of truth, of what works, and of what it takes to build a satisfying relationship that will last a lifetime. She speaks strongly to men, and she speaks just as strongly to women. As a seasoned clinical psychologist, I find her ideas highly stimulating and unusually helpful.

N EIL C LARK W ARREN , Ph.D. , founder of eHarmony.com

Men, if you want to become a truly godly man and husband, In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man is a must-read. Women, if you want to know what to look for and nurture in a lifelong mate, this book is for you, too.

D R . G REG S MALLEY , president and CEO of Smalley
Relationship Center

Who isn't in search of the Proverbs 31 man? This book is for singles who want to know what character qualities are a must in a mate; for men who are confused by our culture and want to know what kind of man God esteems; and for women, tired of pressuring their men, who want to find the freedom of being a helper and soul mate. Michelle McKinney Hammond helps us discover the power of a Proverbs 31 couple who is willing to do it Gods way.

J AN F RANK , speaker and coauthor of Unclaimed Baggage

Michelle McKinney Hammond tells it like it is without pretense or sugar-coating. In her own unique style, she relays simple truths concerning the essence of masculinity from Gods perspective. Every man wants to be ideal, but not many know what it takes to be God's ideal man. In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man identifies God s heartbeat concerning men. It points out the fact that a false understanding of manhood can be damaging not only to the individual but to those for whom he cares a great deal. This book shows you that the Proverbs 31 man is not damaged goods; instead, he's a polished diamond in the eyes of the Great Diamond Maker.

D R . C REFLO A. D OLLAR , CEO of World Changers
Ministries and author of The Successful Family

Get Over It and On With It!
How to Be Blessed and Highly Favored
What to Do Until love Finds You
Secrets of an Irresistible Woman
If Men Are like Buses, Then How Do I Catch One?
The Power of Femininity
Get a Love Life
Where Are You, God?
Prayer Guide for the Brokenhearted
What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?
Wounded Hearts, Renewed Hope
Why Do I Say Yes When I Need to Say No?
Sassy, Single, and Satisfied
The Unspoken Rules of Love
101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention

To my fathers, Mr. George Hammond and Mr. William McKinney,
how blessed I am to have two incredible men in my life
to set the standard for the significant man in my life to follow.
I love you more than words can say.

To Uncle Daddy Stanley and Uncle Frank,
my two special loves, you make it hard for me
to give my heart to another (smile).

To Apostle Luther Blackwell, Frank Wilson, and Joel Brooks,
father, brother, and friend, three men of God
who have had a profound impact on my life
in example and in word. It is because of you
that I always have hope for the men of the world.
You have shown me what God s design for man looks like,
and it is beautiful.

To my brothers, Ian, Okuru, and Nanapiah,
you have my heart as only brothers can.
It is my prayer that you become all
that God intended you to be.
You are well on your way.

CONTENTS

1. RECOGNIZING THE VOICE
Knowing Your God

2. YOU'VE GOT POTENTIAL
Pursuing Your Purpose

3. WHAT'S A RIB BETWEEN FRIENDS?
Embracing Your Design

4. LEAVING AND CLEAVING
Establishing Your Priorities

5. THE LIVING PROOF
Standing on Principle

6. CHARTING THE RIGHT COURSE
Setting the Stage for Righteousness

7. I'VE GOT You COVERED
Protecting Your Woman

8. THE PRICE OF A RING
Valuing the Marriage Covenant

9. WHAT A LITTLE MOONLIGHT WILL DO
Romancing Your Beloved

10. THE ULTIMATE MODEL OF MANHOOD
Following Your Perfect Example

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

My WaterBrook family, thank you for stretching me and making me dig deeper. John Hamilton, you are the best! Thanks for making me look good. Erin Healy, words cannot express how much I appreciate you. If I tried, you ci probably have to clean it up for me! Laura Wright, thank you for always seconding the motion for perfectionor as close as we can come to it. Chip MacGregor, your prayers as well as your counsel are priceless.

I DENTITY IN C RISIS

SomeoneI think it was a bitter womanonce said, Men! Can't live with them, can't kill them! I have my own version of this expression: Men! Can't live without them, though sometimes living with them may take a bit of work. But let's face it, most men would say the same thing about dealing with women!

Ladies and gentlemen, I must confess that I am grieved. As I travel around the country and speak with both men and women, I have seen that our struggle to find lasting love and nurturing relationships is at an all-time high. The men are confused. They no longer know what women want or need from them. The women are disappointed and frustrated. They always ask the same questions: Where are the men? What is wrong with them? Why are they not able to commit? Why are they such wimps?

I assure you up front that I have not set out to write a man-bashing book. Instead, I hope to champion God's original design for a man's life. I hope to encourage men and women alike with the following truth: Though perfection in any gender cannot be achieved this side of heaven, worthy efforts can be made with the help of the Holy Spirit. Why is this so important? Because we women need real men in our lives. And because God needs real men in His service.

Let's consider for a moment the crisis that threatens relationships between men and women today. A famous feminist once said that women have become the men they desire. Eww! Why? Perhaps because the world has distorted our roles and perspectives on gender traits. In our politically correct efforts to create a world of equality, we have created instead a great big tangled ball of yarn, with the liberating strand eluding us. We have lost sight of the God-given, unique strengths we have to offer each other as men and women.

As women have become more independent, self-sufficient, and powerful in the business world, I believe many have accepted the subtle lie that they no longer need men. The men, not knowing what is expected of them any longer, have largely abdicated (or been forced to resign) their posts as leaders, protectors, and providers.