McKinney Hammond - Secrets of an irresistible woman: [smart rules for capturing his heart]

Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Verses marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Verses marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, Copyright 1971 owned by assignment by Illinois Regional Bank N.A. (as trustee). Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Verses marked AMP are taken from The Amplified Bible, Old Testament, Copyright 1965 and 1987 by The Zondervan Corporation, and from The Amplified New Testament, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Verses marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. The NIV and New International Version trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society.

Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version, Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers. Used by permission.

Scripture references that do not have the Bible version noted are the authors paraphrase.

Cover photo by Tom Henry, Koechel Peterson and Associates

Cover by Koechel Peterson and Associates, Minneapolis, Minnesota

SECRETS OF AN IRRESISTIBLE WOMAN

Copyright 1998 by Michelle McKinney-Hammond

Published by Harvest House Publishers.

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 13: 978-0-7369-1683-7

ISBN 10: 0-7369-1683-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McKinney-Hammond, Michelle, 1957

Secrets of an irresistible woman / Michelle McKinney-Hammond.

p. cm.

ISBN 1-56507-843-8

1. Mate selection. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. WomenConduct

of life. I. Title.

HQ801.M4879 1998

646.77DC21 97-29011

CIP

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any for or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 / VP / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To God, my heavenly Father,
who lovingly designed all of the rules for my own good.

To my parents who followed suit:

George and Charity Hammond and
William and Norma McKinney

To my uncles and aunts who, to me, personified the rules:

Stanley and Eglantine White
Kow and Marion Aarkah
Ernesta Branker
What wonderful examples you have been to me!

To my pastors wife, Wanda Eckhardt,
a truly irresistible woman.

Im watching, learning, and taking notes!

To two of the most special young ladies I know:

Elsie and Nicole Duncan-Williams.

Youll always be my girls,
and youre never too young to learn the rules.

Acknowledgments

To my sisters Nicole, Ayodele, Annette, Jacqueline, Karen, Yaaba, Anna, Myma, and Amaperhaps if we stick together we can master this thing called being a woman of God. (smile)

To my sisters in Christ, too many to name, but some have louder voices than others (listed in alphabetical order, not in order of importance)Cindy Bastounes, Brenda Blonski, Charlot Fortier, Sheila Frazier, Lydia Garlington, Theresa Hayden, Charlotte Kroot, Karen McDonald, Terri McFadden, Alda Denise Mitchell, Nancy Roberts, Dorothy Ross, Sylvia Sausedo, Susan Sharpe, Jan Shurtz, Michelle Taylor, Sunday Williams, Theresa Williams, Lorraine Williamson, and Philomina Bunny Wilson. Hey ladies, thanks for getting in my Kool-aid and holding me accountable! Couldnt do it without you.

To the entire Harvest House familyyour enthusiasm is contagious and motivating. Thank you for all of your support; it has been truly nurturing.

Contents

A book titled The Rules set the singles community on its ear. As the books two female authors made the talk show circuit, I sat eyebrows to scalp, quite intrigued by the effect this simple little book was having on men and women alike. I mean people were downright upset about The Rules! Those who had applied the books suggestions reported their success while the audience looked on in disgust. The authors themselves seemed befuddled by the insults that were hurled their way by the audience, although Im sure they laughed all the way to the bank afterwards. After all, in spite of peoples adverse reactions the book was a bestseller.

After a bit of thought, I realized why so many people were upset by The Rules suggestions. Most women today had too much free time on their hands and lacked the self-esteem to put into practice what the authors advised. It was as if the Ten Commandments had been introduced all over again. Women were overwhelmed by their own inability to live up to what seemed to be difficult standards. I felt as if everyone had missed the real point of the book, including the authors, who seemed to have a difficult time defending their material other than to respond, Well, if you want to get married The point to me was very simplethey were basically saying, Get a life! If a woman had a life, she would automatically do all the things that were suggested in the book.

And why were the men upset? As one well-known talk show hostess concluded, I believe men like women who conduct themselves in this way; they just dont want to know theyre following an instruction manual. I was inclined to agree.

After The Rules was released, many people felt compelled to write their own version of the book or respond to what these women had written, including myself. I felt that their premise for writing the book was well-founded. When it came to dating, mating, and relating no one seemed to know what to do anymore. The relationship game had become a free-for-all, with everyone playing it by ear. The results were generally miserable, but no one knew what else to do so they continued playing the same game and blaming any failure on the other person. I believe the entire problem boils down to one simple observation: Women, in their desperation to have someone in their lives, have forfeited their power and have become frustrated victims in affairs of the heart.

A friend of mine once said, God gave men testosterone so that they would make a commitment. But, sadly, many women have short-circuited the commitment process by violating all the safeguards God gave them to heighten their desirability and get them happily married. No longer are women considered trs cher, as the French would say. Cher means expensive in French; the same word also means dear. Instead of realizing their own worth, many women today have put themselves on sale, lowering their value along with their standards, settling for less than the best for themselves. More often than not, they have embraced the philosophy that anything is better than nothing. This is what happens when a woman has no idea where she is going or what she is entitled to. As the Word says, My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you (Hosea 4:6 NKJV). Thats deep but truea lack of knowledge will cause us to lose or suffer rejection every time, in every area of our lives.

I realize this relationship thing is more than just a notion, but it was designed to be a whole lot simpler than weve made it. Ive bumped around out here for a long time myself and made all the classic mistakes. Fortunately, Ive lived and learned, which is something that could benefit all of us. Dont you think its time you got it together, too? Your head is too pretty to keep banging it against a wall.