McKinney Hammond - 101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention

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Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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101 WAYS TO GET AND KEEP HIS ATTENTION
Copyright 2003 by Michelle McKinney Hammond
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
McKinney Hammond, Michelle, 1957
101 ways to get and keep his attention / Michelle McKinney Hammond.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-7369-1136-7
1. Single womenReligious life. 2. Single womenConduct of life. 3. Man-woman
relationshipsBiblical teaching. 4. Man-woman relationshipsReligious aspects
Christianity. I. Title: One hundred and one ways to get and keep his attention.
II. Title: One hundred one ways to get and keep his attention. III. Title.
BV4596.S5M34 2003
248.8'43--dc21

2003001985

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America.

03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 / BP-KB / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book is dedicated to all the women who
long for love
to give as well as receive.
Remember, perfect love casts out all fear
and opens the door for endless possibilities

To my Harvest House familythank you for not only nurturing my creativity, but challenging me to grow.

Shanathanks for reining me in, cause you know I like to keep it real, girl!

Betty, Barb, LaRae, Carolyn, Julie, Teresa, Brynn, Jill, Annie you all are the best. I truly appreciate and love you.

Bob Jr.the body reflects the head. God bless you for your leadership, caring, attention, and integrity.

Chipthanks for always being there.

All my loved onesyou know who you are. Thank you for sacrificing time with me so that I can share with others. Your presence and support keep me going.

To all the men who dared to be honest so that I could write this bookI thank you. Words cannot express how valuable and life-changing your input was to me.

Contents

M en! What is it about them? What do they want anyway? Whether single or married, can anyone figure them out? What are they looking for in a woman? Do they even know? Of course they do! Do we take the time to ask them becomes the bigger question.

Well, I decided to ask men of all sizes, shapes, colors, ages, and walks of life what gets their attention. But more importantly, what keeps their attention. The results were rather surprising. Their answers didnt vary that much. The greatest discovery from my survey is: We women overthink this thing called attraction. We magnify the miniscule and overlook things that are major deal makers or breakers in their minds.

I polled men from college age to late seventies. Believers and nonbelievers. Professionals, blue collar, entrepreneurs, and unemployed. Men of different races and backgrounds. Their needs and wants, though greatly detailed, were pretty basic. The biggest shocker came from Christian menthe characteristics they look for in a woman were not that different from those who did not claim to be religious. This led me to a great revelation. While women who know Christ are striving to live a life that is pleasing to God, they cannot ignore the fact that they are dealing with a man who is first human, then spiritual.

The big dilemma for the average Christian male is that he knows what he should desire in a woman as a new creature in Christ. But there are also the things he really desiresnatural desires that do not go away when he becomes a Christian. Because no one discusses these issues or gives men permission to feel what they feel, many experience anxietylocked in a secret battle with themselves. To admit they want a beautiful woman seems carnal. However, the Bible never plays down the beauty of women or men. In fact, it is celebrated and sung about in Scripture. How do we find a balance for these God-given desires that have been perverted by the ways of the world?

Men are not the only ones facing a dilemma. Most women who come to know Christ are anxious to cast off their worldly ways, but they find themselves at a loss as to how to balance their spiritual walk with the art of natural attraction. Fear causes them to go to the other extreme forsaking natural God-given gifts that were meant to nurture fruitful relationships. In the end, after many disappointments, they wonder why true love, commitment, and romance seem so elusive.

Well, you can count on me to give you the inside scoop. Rather than give away names and internal secrets, I will simply deal with the information that was so freely shared with me. Then, of course, its always a good idea to ask the One who created men. And, might I add, created them to reflect His own heart. Who could comprehend their hearts better than the One who shaped them and intimately knows them? It is always wise to examine the natural as well as the spiritual when dealing with something as powerful as love.

This has become more apparent to me as I travel the country talking with men and women who are struggling with their relationships. Women wonder why men in the church are venturing beyond church walls to find mates. Dont they want a godly mate? The answer is yes, but they dont want a boring one. They want a woman who is sold out to the Lord but still in possession of all the attributes they expect to find in a woman. Godly does not mean uptight and puritanical. We simply must learn how to love and be loved in the right context.

You might ask why am I writing this book. The answer is simple. Relationships in the church are in trouble. Satan, who hates marriage, is busy keeping good, single men and women apart or attacking marriage by keeping husbands and wives at odds with one another. Recently, I spoke at a church. Afterward, one husband came to my book table asking for everything I had to give to his wife. I complimented his wife on the outfit she was wearing and got an earful from this man. He informed me he had bought her the suit and she had never even thanked him for it. It didnt stop there. He went on to tell me that he did the cooking, cleaning, and laundry at his house and his wife did nothing. He felt unloved and could I please talk to his wife! I was taken aback. Here was a woman who knew how to praise the Lord but not how to please her husband! In her mind, she felt she was a godly woman.