Chris Thurman - The Lies Couples Believe: How Living the Truth Transforms Your Marriage
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The Lies Couples Believe: How Living the Truth Transforms Your Marriage: summary, description and annotation
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Are faulty beliefs damaging your marriage?
If you are experiencing conflict, anger, or hurt in your marriage, you dont need positive thinking or an escape clauseyou need to replace the lies you believe with Gods transforming truths for your relationship to become all that it was meant to be.
According to Dr. Chris Thurman, everyone enters marriage with misguided attitudes and expectations such as:
This practical book dismantles the ten most common lies couples believe and helps you renew your mind with Gods truths for a more caring, close, and connected marriage.
Chris Thurman: author's other books
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Recommended Reading
Aaron T. Beck, Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems through Cognitive Therapy (New York: Harper & Row, 1988).
Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (Chicago: Northfield, 2010).
Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy, Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2009).
Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002).
Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004).
Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth , 3rd. ed. (New York: HarperCollins, 1998).
John M. Gottman and Nan Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Countrys Foremost Relationship Expert (New York: Crown, 1999).
Willard F. Harley Jr., His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2011).
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2008).
Timothy Keller and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God (New York: Riverhead, 2013).
Kevin Leman, Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale, 2003).
Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage: Meditations on the Miracle (Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah, 2005).
Andrew Murray, Humility: The Beauty of Holiness (Old Tappan, NJ: Fleming H. Revell, 1997).
Les and Leslie Parrott, The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring You Closer (Brentwood, TN: Worthy, 2013).
Stan Tatkin, Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partners Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2012).
Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002).
Leslie Vernick, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope (Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook, 2013).
Milan Yerkovich and Kay Yerkovich, How We Love: Discover Your Style, Enhance Your Marriage (Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook, 2008).
About the Author
Dr. Chris Thurman is a psychologist, an author, and a popular seminar speaker. Chris and his wife, Holly, have been married for thirty-four years and have three children, Matt, Ashley, and Kelly, whom Chris and Holly think hung the moon. In his spare time, Chris is an avid golfer, a Texas Longhorn fan, and a home improvement aficionado.
If you are interested in Chris doing a seminar for your church or organization, please feel free to contact him through his website at drchristhurman.com.
To Holly
I am a very rich man because of you.
*
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Proverbs 31:10
CONTENTS
Lie #1: The purpose of marriage is to be happy
Lie #2: My spouse can completely meet all my needs
Lie #3: My spouse is a bigger mess of a human being than I am
Lie #4: I am entitled to my spouses love
Lie #5: Our marital problems are all my spouses fault
Lie #6: My spouse should accept me just the way I am
Lie #7: My spouse should be just like me
Lie #8: I see my spouse for who my spouse really is
Lie #9: My spouse has to earn my forgiveness
Lie #10: We can reconcile without repenting
Staying on the Path of Renewing Your Marriage
: Biblical Teachings on Truth
: Marital Lies versus Marital Truth
Notes
Chapter 1Attitude Is Everything in Marriage
.M. Scott Peck, ed., Abounding Grace: An Anthology of Wisdom (Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel, 2000), 1920.
Chapter 2And They Lived Happily Ever After
.Fred Bronson, The Billboard Book of Number One Hits , 5th ed. (New York: Billboard Publications, 2003), 221.
.BMI Announces Top 100 Songs of the Century BMI, December 13, 1999, www.bmi.com/news/entry/19991214_bmi_announces_top_100_songs_of_the_century.
.Happy Together, words and music by Garry Bonner and Alan Gordon, on Happy Together , recorded late 1966April 1967 (Los Angeles: White Whale Records, 1967).
.M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth , 25th anniversary ed. (New York: Touchstone, 2003), 81.
Chapter 3You Complete Me
. What about Bob? , directed by Frank Oz (Burbank, CA: Touchstone Pictures, 1991).
.David and Teresa Ferguson, Intimate Encounters: A Practical Guide to Discovering the Secrets of a Really Great Marriage (Austin, TX: Intimacy Press, 1997).
. Jerry Maguire , directed by Cameron Crowe (Culver City, CA: TriStar Pictures, 1996).
Chapter 4The Plank in Your Eye
. The War of the Roses , directed by Danny DeVito (Los Angeles: Twentieth Century Fox, 1989).
Chapter 6It Takes Two to Tango
. Mr. and Mrs. Smith , directed by Doug Liman (Los Angeles: Regency Enterprises, 2005).
. Mr. and Mrs. Smith .
.M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth , 25th anniversary ed. (New York: Touchstone, 2003), 35.
Chapter 7I Yam Who I Yam
.Ive Gotta Be Me, music and lyrics by Walter Marks (Burbank, CA: Reprise, 1968).
.Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapists View of Psychotherapy (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1961), 28384.
.Frederick S. Perls, Gestalt Therapy Verbatim (Boulder, CO: Real People Press, 1969).
.Just the Way You Are, words and music by Billy Joel (New York: Columbia Records, 1977).
.Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics , trans. Harris Rackham (Ware, Hertfordshire: Wordsworth, 1997), 27.
Chapter 8Opposites Attract Annoy
.Charles Lowery, Comic Belief Volume 1 (Irving, TX: 6Acts Press, 2004), 39.
.Adapted from the American Psychiatric Association, DSM-IV and DSM-5 Criteria for the Personality Disorders , www.psi.uba.ar/academica/carrerasdegrado/psicologia/sitios_catedras/practicas_profesionales/820_clinica_tr_personalidad_psicosis/material/dsm.pdf.
.How Great Thou Art, words and music by Stuart K. Hine (Valencia, CA: Manna Music, 1953).
.You Cant Always Get What You Want, words and music by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards on Let It Bleed (London: London Records, 1969).
Chapter 9I Can See Clearly Now
.Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, words and music by Paul Simon on Still Crazy After All These Years (New York: Columbia Records, 1975).
.Aaron T. Beck, Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems through Cognitive Therapy (New York: Harper & Row, 1988).
.David D. Burns, Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work (New York: Broadway, 2008).
Chapter 10Lets Make a Deal
.The Heart of the Matter, words and music by Don Henley, Mike Campbell, and J. D. Souther on The End of the Innocence , recorded 198889 (New York: Geffen Records, 1989).
.Joyce Meyer, Beauty for Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing (New York: Warner Books, 1994).
. Unbroken , directed by Angelina Jolie (Burbank, CA: Legendary Pictures, 2014).
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