Shelly Brunskill-Matson - What Are You Waiting For?: A practical guide to knowing what you want and making it happen ... NOW

What Are You
Waiting For?

A practical guide to
knowing what you want
and making it happen ...

NOW

SHELLEY BRUNSKILL-MATSON

This book is for you.

You inspire me and make me a better person
simply by being in my life, and being you.
I love you.

(What is special is that I know I neednt
name you individually for you to know
this is for you.)

Acknowledgements

First I want to thank my incredibly special husband Paul, without whom none of this would have been possible. You have believed in me and been there for me every step of the way, not only as Ive written this book but since the first day we met. You are a truly amazing man. You are my rock.

A huge thanks also to my four gorgeous children, Alex, Andre, Brooke and Carley. Thank you for keeping me real, reminding me daily what matters most in life and for inspiring me to want to be a better person. I am as blessed and proud as any mother could be.

I wish to thank my parents. I thank my late father, Tony, for inspiring me to live life fully. It is because of you that I am determined to make such a dent in this world. To my mother, Lynn, thank you for your unconditional love and support. You are a strong and courageous woman.

Thank you also to my sister Christina and my Aunty Jill. Christina, thank you for holding my hand in a way no one else can. I am incredibly proud of you. Jill, thank you for your unwavering support and encouragement. You are the most positive person I know, and such a special part of my life.

I also extend a heartfelt thanks to my wonderful clients, who so generously let me walk alongside them. Thank you for letting me into your lives as you do. You are incredible, every one of you. Your courage and determination to be your best is truly inspiring.

Thank you also to Sue Reidy of Sue Reidy Communications the first person to ever read my manuscript. Your feedback, encouragement and advice were exactly what I needed. You were more pivotal in this book getting to market than I am sure you will ever give yourself credit for. A big thank you to Geoff Walker of Geoff Walker Publishing for your words of encouragement and voice of experience, too. It gave me great confidence having you in my corner.

Finally, thank you, wholeheartedly, to Gareth St John Thomas, Ian Watt and the team at Exisle Publishing for seeing the potential in this book and being willing to give an unpublished author a go. You have been fantastic to work with.

Introduction

About this book

Is your life just as you want it? Are you living your dream? Or are you waiting for some future event or point in time (maybe once the kids are older or when you have more money, more time or more ...), when you will then be able to start living the life you want?

As a Life Coach and busy mother of four, I meet a lot of people from all walks of life. Over recent years I have become increasingly aware of the number of conversations (both in work and in social situations) in which people talk about what they will do or have one day or once .... When talking about what they want for themselves, people tend to change the tense in which they are speaking. What may begin as a conversation about what they want for themselves now, in the present day, suddenly becomes a future-based conversation. It is as though people struggle to consider that they could actually have what they want for themselves, in the present, today. Instead, there is always a something that has to happen first, a reason why they have to wait. This is a trend I have spent much of the last few years observing and studying.

I believe that most people are capable of achieving and experiencing so much more in life than they ever do. Few people, too few, actually live their lives as fully, or as fully contented, as they could. To a greater or lesser extent, the majority of people live safe, risk-free lives. They live passively, rather than proactively. They may dream of what it is they want, but never dare put themselves out there to make it happen. Instead, they create valid reasons why they cant, not yet, why they have to wait. Others have no idea what it is that they want for themselves. Yet they typically do little to clarify their wants, waiting too, waiting to know what they want.

The world over, people wait. Its uncomfortable to step outside ones comfort zone. So what happens? Nothing. Too many people unknowingly allow themselves to be paralysed by their fear. Fear that never subsides.

The majority of people spend their entire lives waiting to live the lives they wish they could live.

Purpose

I am writing this book because I want to change this. I want to challenge societys acceptance of what I see as a waiting epidemic. I want to be a catalyst for people to stop bullshitting themselves and to start living the lives theyre waiting to live. Not one day, not once ... or when ..., but effective immediately.

My message is simple: Stop waiting to live. Become clear about what you want, make it big, make it matter and make it happen.

Why am I so passionate about this? Because I know what is possible.

I spent many years waiting to live the life I wanted. Among other things, I waited to do work I felt truly mattered. I waited to be part of a relationship in which I could fully be myself. I waited to pursue my love of dancing. It was only when I woke up to the realisation that if I was to have these things in my life, it was up to me to make them happen, that I truly started living my life.

This book is written to enable you to do so as well.

NOT just another motivational book!

Walk into any bookshop and you will find the self-help section saturated with motivational reads. This book is different. This book is highly practical. From my point of view, it has to be. What benefit would there be in writing a book aimed at inspiring readers to become clear about what they want in their lives, and to make it happen, if it didnt also show you how to do so?

You will see that a portion of the book is shaded. This section, contain. Who knows what else you might learn about yourself?

As well as being cram-packed with practical tools and strategies, this book also includes my favourite motivational quotes to inspire you, and my pick of the most powerful coaching questions to challenge you. As a coach I am a great believer in the power of fabulous questions to help one access ones thoughts. I also encourage you to take the time to fully consider the Reflective Questions at the end of each (non-shaded) chapter.

I say it as it is

It matters to me that this book says it as it is. I am not one to mince my words (as you may already have noticed). I wont soften my message to make it more palatable, as I cant risk my message being lost or diluted.

It is also no accident that this is a quick pick up and read. There are so many self-help books out there too many of them, in my view filled with pages of unnecessary words. This book needs to be reader-friendly. We are all busy. It makes no sense for me to write a 400-page book when my message can be communicated far more succinctly. With this in mind, I have very consciously kept my words to a minimum, for both of our sakes!

Warning I hope to make you feel uncomfortable!

Throughout this book I ask you to consider questions we dont like to ask ourselves. Questions that inevitably make us feel uncomfortable, even defensive, because they cause us to question the very thoughts that allow us to feel okay about where we are in life. In doing so, at some level, such questions challenge the very core of who we are. However, they need to be asked and you owe it to yourself to be honest in answering them. For some of you, this book may not teach you anything new, but it may remind you of what you already know. For others it will, I hope, make your current approach to life, your current choices, no longer acceptable to you.