Jeremiah C. Braudrick - Removing the Dragon Skin: How C.S. Lewis Helped Me Get Over My Low Spiritual Self-Esteem and Fall Back in Love with God

How C. S. Lewis Helped Me Get Over My Low Spiritual Self-Esteem and Fall Back in Love with God

Jeremiah C. Braudrick

S ome people read C. S. Lewis today because they grew up treasuring his famous childrens books, The Chronicles of Narnia . Perhaps they have nostalgic feelings of falling asleep to their moms or dads soothing voice painting beautiful pictures of a majestic lion, magical fauns, and an evil witch. They love his imagination and imagery and probably would even enjoy his science fiction novels if they came across them. Some people read Lewis because of his convincing apologetic arguments that give solidity to what they already believe or are on the verge of believing about God and the Christian experience. Others read Lewis because hes an authority on sixteenth-century English literature. Some, his poetry. Some, his allegories. Others, his skillfully crafted personal letters that he wrote to friends, family, and fans throughout his life.

For me, I found in Lewis a distant mentor. I found an unexpected cheerleader who, despite what I thought about myself, was able to convince me of what God thought about me, and how that is the only truth that really matters. I read Lewis because the more I do, the more I find medication for a soul who often feels beat up, often feels like a failure, often feels outside the mainstream of our Christian culture, and often feels unworthy of the grace and mercy of a loving God. For most of my life I have assumed that I was a spiritual failure. I was convinced that I was letting God down at every turn. Lewis, who is famous for his abilities to change peoples minds, convinced me otherwise, even when I wasnt looking to have my low views of myself challenged.

I know I am not the only one who has suffered with some serious spiritual self-worth issues. I know there are plenty of others out there who need to be led out of a lowly spiritual condition that has been brought on by their own repeated failures, fundamentalism, addiction, self-loathing, graceless churches, or inability to follow all the current rules of our Christian culture. I know there are plenty of people like me who could use a good dose of healing and who could be reminded just how much God loves them, is proud of them, and actually likes them. If these people are anything like me and have this perpetual nagging feeling of being a less than Christian, then maybe Clive Staples Jack Lewis has something to offer them too. Thats why I wrote and compiled these essays.

For brevitys sake Ill skip over any detailed biography of C. S. Lewiss life. Any Lewis fan reading this is most likely familiar with his personal life and the incredible backstory behind most of his writings, lectures, and his conversion. As for any new, would-be Lewis fans, I challenge you to pick up any number of great Lewis biographies, written by those who are far more qualified to tell his story than I. For the purposes of this book Ill simply choose to focus on some of Lewiss writings, letters, and lectures that have had a particular impact on my spiritual well-being and that have helped me find a path of healing. Ill also take readers on a journey to modern-day Oxford and Cambridge, where one can encounter Lewiss memory if one knows where to look. I do all this in hopes that someone reading this may be able to relate to my journey... and hopefully find some healing too. I love introducing people to C. S. Lewis who may not know much about his works beyond The Chronicles of Narnia . I attempt to name most of the sources I used in hopes that you will take time to explore those titles as well. At any given time, you have my complete support to put down this book and pick up one of his.

As I write this, I run a nonprofit organization that helps supply inmates with everyday essentials such as hygiene products, stamps, shoes, etc. I am also blessed to lead my churchs ever-increasing prison initiatives. Because of this, a substantial amount of the relationships I have in my life are people in prison and people who have been released from prison. I originally started compiling this collection of essays and Lewis-themed memoires to print out and distribute to hundreds of them. I have found that many prisoners struggle with what I will describe in this book as low spiritual self-esteem. They often feel like a Christian, but they feel like a less-than Christian. They may know that God loves them, but sometimes they sure dont feel like it. This collection was originally intended for thema population that I am always very anxious to introduce to Mr. C. S. Lewis. Yet after passing it around a bit, I was encouraged by some people whose academic opinions I respect to seek publishing in hopes that it may also be beneficial to a larger audience who may also struggle with spiritual self-worth. I think the fact that I was writing to an inmate population shines through from time to time, but I hope the everyday reader in the free world will also find some healing by it.

In Lewis spiritual autobiography, Surprised by Joy , he suggests to the reader, who he admits may not be interested in the story of his early life, that they might be surprised theyll find some spiritual commonality with Lewis and think What! Have you felt that too? I always thought I was the only one. e ever felt like a third-string Christian, someone unable to perform alongside the first-stringers who seem to have got this whole Christianity thing down, then my hope is that you can relate to some of my thoughts and the way Ive been able to process both Scripture and the works of C. S. Lewis. If youve experienced any sort of pain or rejection, whether it was real or something you unconsciously concocted yourself, either from strict Christian fundamentalism or just your own standards you failed to keep, or if youve ever felt like you were on the outside of those who seem to be able to please God the most, then perhaps my journey towards healing and restoration could be of benefit to you.