Matilda Kauffman - Shattered Dreams

The Heartache and Enduring Hope of a Forsaken Wife

Matilda Kauffman

SHATTERED DREAMS 2011 by Vision Publishers

All rights reserved. For permission to quote from this book, contact Vision Publishers.

No permission is needed for 50 words or less.

ISBN-13: 978-1-932676-24-2

ISBN-10: 1-932676-24-4

Printed in the United States of America

Layout & Cover Design: Lanette Steiner

Digital text entry: Elizabeth Burkholder

All Scriptures taken from the King James Version unless otherwise indicated.

For information regarding bulk purchases, please contact:

Vision Publishers orders at 1-877-488-0901

Vision Publishers at P.O. Box 190, Harrisonburg, 22803

For information or comment, write to:

Vision Publishers

P.O. Box 190

Harrisonburg, VA 22803

Phone: 877/488-0901

Fax: 540/437-1969

E-mail: orders@vision-publishers.com

www.vision-publishers.com

(see order form in back)

A portion of each sale goes toward the support of Matilda Kauffman.

Harrisonburg, VA

T he tragedy of a husband deserting his family is the ultimate nightmare for a devoted wife. If you have been handed such a faith-defying struggle, this book is for you. Or perhaps your husband is still with you, but your marriage is on the rocks. What can you do? Where can you turn? How can you experience peace, true happiness, and quietness of mind in the midst of an emotional storm that threatens to tear you down mentally, physically, and spiritually? What does Jesus ask of you, and is following His way even possible?

Admittedly, these situations generate much confusion as well as deep wounds and hurts. God is not the author of confusion but of peace, joy, and happiness. How does He accomplish this?

I want to share a few things I have learned through much trial and error while traveling through the deep, dark valley of sorrow and rejection, cast out by the man I vowed to love, and still do love.

In the early years of my marriage, I had the most thoughtful and loving husband. Thats why my heart was completely crushed and broken when our marriage turned out as it did. We had been so close. I groped for answers, but found none.

Divorce was absolutely not an option in my mind. I believed it to be a grave sin in Gods sight. Marriage is for life. God says, So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel... (Malachi 2:15, 16, NIV).

Where had I failed so desperately? My mind whirled, like a dog chasing its tail. My thoughts got me nowhere.

Does the Bible have answers? It does indeed. Although the answers are not always spelled out in black and white, the Bible offers basic principles to follow. One may be too blinded or hurt to see them, or maybe unwilling to believe they could work for a particular situation, but I believe the answers do exist.

With Gods unfailing love and grace, I once again found peace and joy in my heart despite the underlying pain. True joy does not come from our circumstances but from following principles of almighty God and cleansing our souls before Him.

My deepest desire is to bring a ray of hope and inspiration to a sad or questioning heart as I share with you what God has taught me. I want to be a friend to anyone I meet on this lonely path.

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4).

God truly has been wonderful in His dealings with me. May He comfort you as He comforted me.

Matilda Kauffman

A famous lecturer pulled a special bookmark from her Bible and held it up as she described her degrading experiences in a Nazi concentration camp. The audience saw only an ugly, tangled mass of different-colored yarn. Then, while telling the many benefits of her suffering, the speaker turned the marker. Now the audience saw the gorgeous needlework on the other side that said God Is Love.

This story also begins with a confusing tangle of life-threads. In this case, the bewildering strands of a broken marriage are laced with excruciating pain. The author, stripped of her dignity and possessions, struggles to hang on to her thin shred of faith in God.

Through her story, the author explains how she nurtured her weak faith into a strong, joyful confidence in God. She describes the slow, sometimes obscure needlework of God until she can see the gorgeous tapestry of her life on the other side wrought through the inexplicable devastation of her marriage.

The tapestry in this story, however, did not happen automatically. Each ordering of the pattern was a heart-wrenching lesson that could not be learned without suffering. The author will lead you to understand these hard lessons of rejection, humiliation, absolute surrender, forgiveness, chastening, and suffering trust in God.

In the end, the choice will be yours. Will you succumb to bitterness and unbelief toward your offenders, with the ugly tangles of your life left unsightly, even on the other side? Or will you choose to forgive your offenders and trust the suffering God allows as He weaves your character into a magnificent tapestry? May this story inspire you to make the better choice.

John D. Martin

Save me, O my God. The floods have risen.

Deeper and deeper I sink in the mire;

the waters rise around me.

I have wept until I am exhausted;

my throat is dry and hoarse;

my eyes are swollen with weeping,

waiting on my God to act.

(Psalm 69:1- 3, The Living Bible).

T his verse describes how I felt as my marriage collapsed. Many women have been rejected and traded for other models by men who vowed to love and cherish them for better or for worse, in health and in sickness, until death parted them.

In marriage, God Himself binds together the man and woman as one flesh for life. When the two are pried apart and the marriage is broken, the break is jagged and torn, unable to heal properly. Each new encounter with the unfaithful spouse exposes the wound, still raw and bleeding.

This whole experience has been a soul-searching process for me. Before my marriage, I thought if my husband and I had problems in our relationship, we would work through them peacefully. I dearly loved (and still love) my handsome, talented husband, and I believed separation from him would be a disgrace to Gods name. Also, I didnt want to see our family broken apart. After I knew our marriage was not what it should be, I often prayed earnestly, No matter what I need to endure, please, Lord, never let us separate.

I firmly believe Gods directives for the wife who faces the challenges of a marriage that is less than ideal:

And unto the married I [Paul] command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God has called us to peace (1 Corinthians 7:10-15).