Elsa Kok - A Woman with a Past, a God with a Future: Embracing Gods Transforming Love

A WOMAN
WITH A PAST,
A GOD
WITH A FUTURE

Books by Elsa Kok

available from New Hope Publishers

Settling for Less Than Gods Best?

Also in the Woman Who Hurts series

A Woman Who Hurts, A God Who Heals

EMBRACING GODS TRANSFORMING LOVE

ELSA KOK

New Hope Publishers

P. O. Box 12065

Birmingham, AL 35202-2065

www.newhopepublishers.com

2006 by Elsa Kok

All rights reserved. First printing 2006

Printed in the United States of America

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the prior written permission of the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kok, Elsa, 1968

A woman with a past, a God with a future : embracing Gods transforming love / by Elsa Kok.

p. cm.

ISBN 1-59669-001-1 (softcover)

1. Christian womenReligious life. 2. BibleStudy and teaching. I. Title.

BV4527.K64 2006

248.843dc22

2005037934

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version.

ISBN: 1-59669-001-1

N064128 0806 3M1

I would like to dedicate this book to my family:

Brian, Sam, Sean, Jessica, and Cassie.

From my past, to a future with you

I stand amazed and grateful!

Brian: I love you. Your steadfast faith and tender love melt my heart every day. I am a better follower of Christ because you reflect Him so well. Thank you.

Sam: I love watching your story unfold. You are Gods treasure and my delight. Life with you is a joy. I love you!

Sean: Im so glad you are in my life. I love you and believe in your future. Im proud to call you son.

Jessica and Cassie: You are loved beyond words. We think of you and pray for you (with tenderness and hope) every day.

Mom and Dad: Thank you for being such sweet encouragers and wonderful friends. I truly delight in our relationship!

Jennifer: As always, thank you for holding me fast, praying for me, and standing with me. You are a faithful friend. I love you.

Lissa: You are a dear friend. Thanks for going to the deep places with me.

Piet, Carol, Enno, Rob, Laura, John and Wendy: I love my family!

Andrea, Jan, Susan (and the periodicals team at Focus): I learned so much from you. But even better, I loved every minute of it. You are gifts in my life. Thank you.

New Hope: Thanks for believing in me, and for publishing books for women who long to know healing.

Reeses: Another book has been written as you curled around my feet. I hope you live a long time. We have more books to write!

Friend,

I wonder why you opened to this page. Maybe the title of the book caught your eye. Maybe, like me, your past has robbed you of too much future, and youre tired of it. Youve come to the right place. This is not a Bible study that will preach to you, shame you, or condemn you. Its a journeyone that Im still walking. Its a journey towards the truth about God and the wonderful things He has in mind for your future.

For me, Christianity was always hard to grasp. The Christians I knew were so squeaky clean there was no way I could measure up. I didnt think I could ever be like themand honestly, I wasnt sure I wanted to try. Their world seemed boring to me. I was caught up in the things that I wanted to do and many of those choices fell outside of what Christianity looked like. So I stayed far away. Although Id grown up in the church, my relationship with God was very low on my priority list.

Then things began to change. As much as I hated to admit it, the fun life I was clinging to wasnt holding up very well. I went through a divorce. Soon after, I got a job at a bar, but I could barely pay the bills. I tried to find solace in other relationships, only to get my heart broken. I was addicted to cigarettes, and I had a tough time being honest with myself or anyone else. I was a mess. All my fun landed me in a life without any joy or hope.

It was amazing how God found me in that place. He brought people into my life who loved me just as I was. They showed me His heart, and as I began to experience their love, I imagined there might be a God who loved me too. I started checking things outtentatively at first. But God paved the way. I started to seek Him. Instead of just believing what Id been told, I wanted to know who God really was and I found Him! The more I knew Him, the more I loved Him. There were dark timesespecially when I would stumble headlong into an old habit, or Id forget the depth of His love, or life would sideswipe me with a hard circumstance. I still grewsometimes two steps forward, sometimes one step back. He never gave up on me.

I figured that God wanted me to forget about my pastthat He wanted me to stick it underneath the rug and not embarrass Him by bringing it up.

Im not sure where I got that idea. Maybe the way people seemed so good sitting in those church pews made me think they wouldnt want to know where I had been. But God changed that in my world. As I began to really love Him and have relationship with Him, He began to use my past in amazing ways. I would run into another woman who was hurting, and I would have the chance to share what Id been through. All the stuff I did, which I thought disqualified me, ended up giving me the chance to help others in their hurt. That was an amazing thing! The more I grew in my faith, the more God turned those dark, broken pieces into something worthwhile and beautiful.

God has something wonderful in store for you too. Maybe youve done some wrong or questionable thingsand you are ashamed. Maybe there is stuff in your life that youve never told anyone. Maybe youre not even sure about this whole God thing, and you doubt whether He really accepts you just as you are. It may sound nice and spiritual, but you may wonder, How can it possibly be true?

If thats the case, this book is for you. If you are hiding pieces of your story, if you feel disqualified in any way, if you wonder if God is tired of you, read on. Dont hide. It might be tough to dig around in your story, but its worth it. Keep going, even when it feels too hard. Discover what His Word, the Bible, says about you and your circumstances. Learn to apply His truth in very personal ways. Look at your story and let the shame wash away. Its amazing to be released from the weight of our past. And God has that for you, I promise. Even better, He promises!