Jude Morrow - Why Does Daddy Always Look So Sad?

Praise for Jude Morrows

A powerful book for any parent/father trying to understand their childs struggles living with ASD. The book sends an inspiring message that loving your child conquers challenges, and that parenting is about the journey in discovering each other!

Maisie Soetantyo, M.Ed. ,
RDI Program Certified Consultant,

Clinic Director, and co-founder of the CATCH clinic

Jude Morrows eye-opening personal story of being a parent with autism is inspiring. It sheds light on the unique challenges experienced by a father on the spectrum, and explores what happens when a kid with autism grows up!

Harold Hackie Reitman, M.D. ,
founder of DifferentBrains.org

In his remarkable first book, Jude Morrow takes us on a unique journey through the trials and triumphs of being both autistic and a single parent. Jude tells us about his childhood as an autistic person with all the challenges that presents and how becoming a social worker and helping others has strengthened him. Beyond that, this book, for the first time, shines a light on a rarely discussed subject: being an autistic adult. I applaud this book and recommend it to everyone. A stunning and original contribution to the broadening field of autism studies.

Ian Hale, PhD , author, speaker, and autism expert

8427 N.E. Cornell Road, Suite 500

Hillsboro, Oregon 97124-9808

503-531-8700 / 503-531-8773 fax

www.beyondword.com

First Beyond Words paperback edition April 2020

Previously published in 2019 in the United Kingdom under ISBN: 978-1-09-636928-8

Copyright 2020 Jude Morrow

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

BEYOND WORDS PUBLISHING is an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and the Beyond Words logo is a registered trademark of Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Beyond Words Special Sales at 503-531-8700 or .

Managing editor: Lindsay S. Easterbrooks-Brown

Proofreader: Ashley Van Winkle

Design: Devon Smith

Composition: William H. Brunson Typography Services

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019954931

ISBN 978-1-58270-757-0

ISBN 978-1-58270-758-7 (ebook)

The corporate mission of Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.: Inspire to Integrity

F OR E THAN

J ude Morrows book shares a lesson I learned years ago while working with cancer patients: There is always hope. All of usas parents or childrenneed to accept that simple statement. When you do learn, desire and intention alter the world and cause things to happen that would not normally occur; and our mind and body become a unit instead of separate entities.

One of the biggest factors in a childs life is whether he or she feels loved or not by their parents. Those who do feel love live longer healthier lives. Parenting is really the most significant health issue there is. Just think about the fact that children become grandchildren to their parents parents. Not a coincidence how grandparents judge you versus parents. I recommend we all become chosen mothers and fathers and love the children who choose us. We will save lives by doing that.

Jude makes a powerful statement: Defeat makes a champion. I have run several marathons and once on the streets of New York a woman stood saying, Youre all winners! over and over again. She was right because when you finish the race of life (or marathon in this case) you will receive your medal and know you made a difference.

Jude Morrows book is his journal of life and I recommend we all write a book by keeping a journal of our lifes experiences because by bringing forth what is within you, you truly save your life. I can also tell you that rereading your words years later is very therapeutic, so learn from Jude and start the healing process now.

When you live in your heart, magic happens. Read Jude Morrows story and learn from his experience and make your life easier through his experience and wisdom.

Bernie Siegel, MD,
author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul
and A Book of Miracles

T he parenting journey is difficult for any first-time parent. With Aspergers, this brought new challenges: learning to interpret nonverbal cues, living my life according to my baby, and having to let go of my previous coping mechanisms to learn new ones. Ethans earliest years were full of tears, tantrums, teething problems, sleepless nights, and confusion. Although I have to admit, 99.9 percent of these were from me and not Ethan.

I relied heavily upon my parents to help me build a positive relationship with Ethan and I certainly couldnt have managed without them. I had to go on an entirely different journey to get to where I am now.

I knew that Jupiter has seventy-nine known moons and where the swimming pool was located on the Titanic , yet I didnt know how to connect with this beautiful child who called me Daddy. (For anyone interested, the Titanic swimming pool was on F-Deck above boiler room six.)

Trying to forge a connection when I can be naturally distant was exhausting for me, but the fact that Ethan could see my vulnerability in full meant that I had to change. One day I won! I will never free myself of Aspergers but I can learn to adapt to new situations, and this helped me connect with my son in a way I didnt think I was capable of.

When speaking of autism, I deliberately refrain from using the word disorder. My reason for this is that I view autism as a gift to be celebrated and cherished, not a burden to be pitied.

I want to demonstrate that those with autism can be successful, be happy, and be good parents. I hope people can take comfort from reading about the journey I have been on, and thank you for bringing me on yours.

M y earliest memory of my quirky behavior is lining up my toy cars on the windowsill in our living room when I was just three years old. I would ensure that all the little door handles were perfectly aligned, facing the same direction on the windowsill overlooking Derry. I remember my mum wanting to dust the windowsill and the look of anguish when she wanted to dust at the expense of moving my toy cars.