Cedric Crumbley - The War of Military Transition

CEDRIC CRUMBLEY

Copyright 2018 Cedric Crumbley

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any meanswhether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronicwithout written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid.

Dedicated to military veterans and their spouses.

CONTENTS

The idea for this book developed after conversations with veterans and spouses of veterans. Veterans reached out to find out what life was like after the military. I found myself giving advice that many had never heard. It was different from advice given during military transition.

The original title of this book was Balloon On A Bed Of Nails. I changed the title to hit the heart of what veterans face after military service. When you look at the synonyms for war, you find words like:

quarrel with

struggle with

quarrel against

contend with

wrangle with

These words seem to sum up military transition.

The war is going on inside of your mind. In your spirit you may feel like youre under pressure and you cant take it anymore and you dont know what to do.

I didnt name this book Balloon On A Bed Of Nails because I didnt think veterans would read a book with a balloon on it. However, the analogy helps explain how veterans can overcome initial fears during transition.

Let me explain

Beds of nails have been the craze for the past century. In sideshows, stuntmen and women have defied logic and physical agony, casting the fear of personal injury aside.

Gurus and Hindu yogis have subjected themselves to this torture. Others have had concrete blocks smashed on their bellies while lying on beds of nails. Still others have had motorcycles ride over them while perched on a bed of nails.

Their skin is almost never punctured. These people get up without a pinprick of damage.

How can this be?

As with many stunts, the underlying physics tells the true story.

Pressure is spread as a force exerted over an area. A woman wearing high heels, for example, exerts greater pressure on her heel than a four-ton elephant does on his feet. Thats because the area of the elephants foot distributes the weight, thereby exerting less pressure.

The same applies to a balloon on a bed of nails. Applied pressure spreads. As thin as a balloon is, it doesnt pop unless a lot of force is applied. The balloon stays intact.

Like balloons, veterans can be very resilient if we learn to spread out the stressors and pressure in our lives.

Swoosh.

My body sinks. My feet search for solid ground. My heart hammers.

Where is the bottom? Nothing but water surrounds my feet. Dont breathe. Dont swallow. I feel like a rock. I swim as well as a rock swims.

Man, its dark under here. Its deep.

A few breaststrokes lift me to the surface. I break through with a desperate gasp for oxygen. I struggle to keep the water from entering my lungs. My body tenses. My eyes bulge and redden. My ears fill with the deafening noise of rushing water.

Swoosh.

Down again, submerged in the eerie silence. Im going to drown. Im going to die this way. Nice move.

Im suddenly furious at myself. I always dreamed that one day I would make a difference in the world. Now my life is ending at the bottom of a river.

Thats it? Thats all Im worth? I put in my time. I lived to retire from the Army. And this is how my life ends?

I got you.

Who said that? A familiar voice is here with me, in this soundless abyss.

A surge of courage gives me the strength to push up one last time for air. As I break through to the air, I see a mans leg extending over the surface.

Cedric, grab my leg.

Grasping my father in laws leg, I somehow find the side of the raft. I hold on for dear life. We float to the bank of the river. I grab hold of the mud, dragging my exhausted body to crawl out. I sit down, lungs heaving.

The rest of my family gets out the water. My 8-year old daughter is shaking uncontrollably, ringing her hands, clearly in a panic. Calmer but still panting, I scoop her in my arms.

She cries in my arms. I... I... I... thought you were going to... drown.

Daddy didnt drown. Im here with you. Daddy is here, I assure her.

There was no guilt. Prior to my near-drowning, I had begun making up the time Id missed with my family. All those years traveling and leaving my family behind to serve my country were behind me. My primary focus had become picking my daughter up from school, and learning to be a loving father and husband.

So any time veterans contact me after they first get out of the military, I encourage them to take 30 days off and enjoy their family. No career will ever replace your family.

*****

I almost died at the bottom of the San Marcos River.

The river was too strong for me. But a voice in that river gave me the strength to pull myself up. It was a still, small voice. And it saved my life.

To that audible voice: Thank you. Im still here. Maybe its because Im supposed to tell my stories.

Maybe that voice was sending a message: That I needed to stick around - at least long enough to send word to veterans in transition about whats to come.

Mark Shepherd, a friend of mine, is committed to making science fun and interactive for kids. I once watched as he conducted a presentation to a group of kids at a local restaurant.

Dressed as a mad scientist, complete with gray wig and lab coat, he placed a balloon on top of several nails. He asked several kids to press down on the balloon as hard as they could.

The balloon wouldnt pop, no matter how much pressure was applied.

I asked Mark how was he able to do the trick. Mark showed me that if you place the balloon on top of only one nail, it will pop. But placing it on several nails causes the pressure to be distributed evenly, helping the balloon withstand the pressure.

Mark then made a fascinating analogy. He said that when an individual who feels alone is under pressure, things can fall apart. But if we work together, were able to withstand pressure a lot better.

I immediately realized that this was very true of life after the military: We are stronger together.

I couldnt get the image out of my head. I asked Mark if he would write his explanation so that I could share with my community of military veterans. Here are Marks own words:

How many nails does it take to pop a balloon? One might. So why does a balloon have great difficulty popping if 1,000 nails are pressing into it?

As fragile as a balloon is, one nail with concentrated pressure can easily pop it. Yet when 1,000 nails are close together, the same concentrated pressure is spread out over the face of the balloon. So there is much less pressure coming from any nail.

As veterans, single moms, lonely college students, we may feel overwhelmed by the pressures of life at times. Frustration, despair, and loss can put us over the edge. But if we are networked together like a tightly woven support system (i.e. friends, counselors, mentors, church, family), together we can endure much greater pressures and stressors of life.