Sandra Felt - Beyond the Good Girl Jail: When You Dare to Live from Your True Self

Health Communications, Inc.

Deerfield Beach, Florida

www.hcibooks.com

You can contact Sandra Felt and download related handouts at TrueSelfMatters.com ..

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available through the Library of Congress

2016 Sandra Felt

ISBN-13: 978-07573-1845-0 (Paperback)

ISBN-10: 07573-1845-2 (Paperback)

ISBN-13: 978-07573- 1846-7 (ePub)

ISBN-10: 07573-1846-0 (ePub)

The stories in this book are true, representing what clients and others have presented. All names and identifying information have been changed, except for immediate family and a few close friends.

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos, and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher:
Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 334428190

The Good Girl Jail, an original painting by Alice McClelland, used by permission. 1981 Alice McClelland.
Cover and interior design and formatting by Lawna Patterson Oldfield
ePub created by Dawn Von Strolley Grove

For Eric and Sarah Bree,
who first taught me that it was impossible
to be a perfect mom and who then
taught me that it was more
important to be real.

What If?

What if there really is a me inside?

A self who is all meand mine?

A unique set of quirks and qualities

To claim and develop?

To live from and throughand be?

What if I already have the right

And enough room

To be who I am?

What if Im already here,

Capable of living my own life?

What if Im actually meant to be

This me I already am

My piece of the universal puzzle?

What if its truly okay

To dance, to dance in daffodils,

Fully expressing all that is?

And all that oozes through my soul?

What if I refuse to miss

The possibilities of my own truth?

CONTENTS

To live is the rarest thing in the world.
Most people exist, that is all.

Oscar Wilde

This is an extremely important book! Heres the reason why. With the advent of humans, a new form of evolution was begun. The archeologist Teilhard de Chardin called it the noosphere , the sphere of consciousness. Over time, our collective consciousness expanded to the point where we became acutely aware of the history of our consciousness.

We have now reached a moment in the evolution of human consciousness where many of us realize that for most of human history, we have been imprisoned by a life-limiting and vicious co-dependent reality. Co-dependency is dis-ease of the developing self, a failure to develop a true sense of our own reality. Dictatorships and religious patriarchies have kept us in the dark about what we truly think, feel, imagine, need, or want.

Women have been especially battered by these totalistic systems, but men have been damaged, too. I grew up believing that I was only lovable when I was not being myself . I now think that the greatest achievement of human evolution occurs when we develop an authentic sense of self.

In Beyond the Good-Girl Jail , Sandra Felt offers a practical guide for recovering and discovering yourself. She shares her poetry, her personal life events, and her insight formed from many years of listening to her clients experiences. The result is pure goldreal wisdom.

In Part One, she offers us ways to become aware of our self. Part Two offers us three essential skills for self-reunion. Once weve begun to experience our own boundaries, be aware of our bodys wisdom, and know what we are feeling, we can begin to expand and rebuild our true self. Sandra Felt emphasizes the critical importance of being fully aware of our choices. She urges us to reevaluate our core beliefs and enjoy ourselves in solitude.

Part Four reminds me of David Whytes poem that urges us to realize that anything that does not bring us alive is too small for us. Sandra shows us what it means to speak our own truth and spontaneously act out our own calling and destiny.

This book answers the question posed by the old African proverb, When death finds you, hope it finds you alive! Rather than going to your death never knowing who you are, join Sandra in finding your true calling and selfhood. Her poem asks What if I refuse to miss the possibilities of my own truth? Make what is perhaps one of the most important choices of your one and only life. Read this book. Who knows, you may soon be dancing in the daffodils .

John E. Bradshaw, Sr.

New York Times best-selling author

author, Post-Romantic Stress Disorder

Voted by his peers as one of the most important

writers on emotional health in the twentieth century

It has truly taken a village to foster my own personal growth sufficiently to write this book and then to also share it with others. Beyond the Good-Girl Jail: When You Dare to Live from Your True Self would not have become possible without the help and support of the following very special people:

First of all, the hundreds of clients and other trauma survivors I have been privileged to know who have shared their deepest fears, courage, stories, trust, and dogged determination to heal. I deeply respect each and every one of you and hold you dear to my heart.

My many teachers over the years who have provided numerous opportunities to learn to trust my own process and spiritual connection, especially: Ruth Kranzler, the college instructor who believed in me enough to teach me to trust my own observations and experiences; Bill OHanlon, who generously taught me the essentials of turning my writing into a book; and Greg Chenu, who truly knew what I was talking about and repeatedly challenged me to dig deeper still to find the essence of it all.

The Grass Hat Gals, and other bluegrass musicians, who have encouraged me to take wild risks to be playful and expressiveand laugh heartily.

Alice McClelland, the artist who gave visual form to what I had so often experienced viscerally. Thanks for permission to use your painting. My other precious women friends, too, who have provided the safety net I often need as I continue to grow. I think you know who you are.

My dear husband, Dan Barmettler, who has been consistently by my side through it all, ever ready with a comforting hug, dinner out, and a spot of humor when needed. Thanks for opening so many doors for me.

Peter Vegso, editor Christine Belleris, copy editor Tonya Woodworth, proofreader Laurie Taddonio, graphic designer Lawna Oldfield, public relations director Kim Weiss, and the other staff at Health Communications, Inc., who have taken this chance on a new author and then added their own strength and skills to make the book better.

The many other authors who have believed in the possibilities of this book enough to endorse it. I thank you so much for your generosity.

Others, too, who have provided honest input, encouragement, and assistance of many kinds along the way, especially Bernadette Prinster, Loretta Lewis, JM, RBW, RD, ARW, and my daughter-in-law, Sandy Wisch Felt.

The precious daffodil spirits who eagerly helped me find my way to write in the wee dark hours of dawn. And last but never least, life itself as it continues to provide the perfect awakening moments that invite me to feel fully alive.