Barbara Keesling - The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Guide to Pleasure & Seduction

Copyright 2001, 2009 by Barbara Keesling First paperback edition 2009

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The hardback edition of this book was previously catalogued by the Library of Congress as follows:

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Keesling, Barbara.

The good girls guide to bad girl sex / by Barbara Keesling.

p. cm.

Includes index.

ISBN 0-87131-934-9 (cloth : alk. paper)

ISBN 1-59077-128-1 (pbk. : alk. paper)

ISBN 978-1-59077-128-0 (pbk. : alk. paper)

1. WomenSexual behavior. 2. WomenPsychology. 3. Sex (Psychology).

I. Title.

HQ29 .K444 2001

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

Manufactured in the United States of America.

To all the Good Girls who are ready for some BAD

Every good girl I have ever known wishes somewhere in her heart that she could be just a little bit bad. She wishes she could turn a few heads with the way she walks, raise a few eyebrows with the way she talks, raise a mans temperature when she enters the room, and leave him breathless when she exits.

But that isnt how most of us were raised. If you are like most of the women I know, and Im guessing that you are, you were probably raised to do the right things and to say the right things. To be respectful. And kind. And decent. And modest. To be, first and foremost, always a lady. In short, to be a Good Girl.

The place you needed to be the epitome of goodthe most careful and ladylike of allwas the place where it was most dangerous to be the least bit bad: behind closed doors in the arms of a man. Why? Because making love should be something lovely and special and soft and gentle and quiet and private and very, very femininesomething to be shared in a discreet and loving way in the quiet evening hours with the one you love. This was the picture society painted for most of us, and to bring that idealized picture to life, you had to be good.

Did Good Girls have sex? Of course they did. Good Girls could even enjoy sex, as long as they didnt enjoy it too much. But Good Girls didnt crave sex. And Good Girls didnt breathe sex. Good Girls certainly didnt exude sex and Good Girls didnt live sex. All of that was for the Bad Girls.

Oh, those Bad Girls. You know them well. For years you have listened to their stories and watched them turn heads. How did they get to be so sexy? How did they get to be so hot? How did they get to be so free? How did they get to be so bad? And what does that feel like? If youre like me, you have asked yourself these questions. My goal is to help you find the answersanswers you can live with and love with.

My name is Barbara Keesling, and I am a sex therapist in private practice in Southern California. I have been a sex therapist for over ten years. Before receiving my doctorate I worked for many years as a professional surrogate partnersomeone who assists a sex therapist in a clinical setting to help the therapists patients work through sexual obstacles. Clearly, I have spent a great deal of time in the pursuit of sexual understanding, but dont let that fool you into thinking that I was born to be bad. Like most women, I have struggled to find my sexual power. For many years I was just like you: a really Good Girl who wanted to be bad. I had to learn everything that you will need to learn, and I think that makes me a uniquely qualified guide. Today I am a very different woman than I was back thenI am, as they say, as bad as I wanna be. I hope that my personal story, along with the many other stories I will be sharing in this book, will give you support and some genuine inspiration.

If you have been a Good Girl all of your life, it may not be all that easy to suddenly be bad. You have it in youevery woman has that special something in herthat, Im sure of. It may take a little time to find it and it may take a little practice to learn how to use it, but youre going to find it. You are going to feel it. You are going to learn how to use it really soon. It doesnt take long once you start looking for it and you can start looking right now by just turning the page.

If you have picked up this book you are ready for a change, and you need that change right now! You need to be sexy. You need to be wicked. You need to be lustful. You need to be wild; so wild you could scream. Bottom line: You need to be bad. You need to be bad so that sex can feel good. So it can feel fabulous. Mind-blowing. Hot as Hades. You owe this to yourselfand its time you got what you deserve.

The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex is written just for you. It doesnt matter if youre twenty-five or fifty-five. It doesnt matter if youre married or single. It doesnt matter if youre in love or in lust. All that matters is that you want it bad. I know what your fears are and I know your concerns, but I also know that you need to be bad. Life is too short to waste it being good. Its time for you to learn to enjoy what all the Bad Girls know.

When Jane was a teenager, she would often go without a bra. She was proud of her small, perfectly shaped bosom. She also enjoyed the way fabrics felt against her skin; the smooth, cool glide of cotton across her chest or the luxurious caress of her favorite satin blouse.

This small but important practice was just enough to keep Jane in touch with her body and her growing awareness of herself as a sexual being. Although she was still a virgin, she was beginning to understand the power that a sexually enlivened woman possessesas was demonstrated by the appreciative glances she would sometimes garner from her male classmates.