Harriet S. Mosatche - Girls. Whats So Bad About Being Good?: How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and...

Copyright 2001 by Harriet S. Mosatche

All of the characters in this book are based on real persons, but in some cases, names have been omitted or changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. Therefore, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, unless authorized by the actual person mentioned.

All products and organizations mentioned in this book are trademarks of their respective companies.

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.

THREE RIVERS PRESS and the Tugboat design are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

Originally published by Prima Publishing, Roseville, California, in 2001.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Mosatche, Harriet S.
Girls: whats so bad about being good : how to have fun, survive the preteen years, and remain true to yourself / Harriet S. Mosatche
p. cm.
1. PreteensLife skills guides. 2. GirlsLife skills guidesJuvenile literature. I. Title.
HQ777.15.M65 2001
646.700835dc21 2001024657

eISBN: 978-0-307-55640-0

www.crownpublishing.com

v3.1

T o preteen and teen girls everywhere who
want to have fun and remain true to themselves.

W e thank Prima Publishing and the wonderful people who work thereDenise Sternad, Michelle McCormack, and Pat Henshawfor giving us an opportunity to work on a book together. We also thank Ivan Lawner, loving husband and caring dad, who always willingly left the computer so we could meet yet another deadline, and Rob Lawner, terrific son and supportive brother, who shared his perspective and ideas with us when we asked. Were grateful that both understood how important writing this book was to us.

D o you remember being about seven years old and seeing a girl of twelve or thirteen? She seemed so together, so cool so old. Well, now youre that age or close to it. What are you thinking about? Feeling? Looking forward to? Scared about? What questions do you have?

Thats where this book comes in. Its your very own personal guide to feeling good about growing up. Youll find out how to:

Feel good about how you look

Speak with confidence and stay true to the real you

Feel comfortable with kids youve just met and understand those who live halfway around the world

Deal with bullies and brats and assorted other difficult people

Get along with your family (yes, even your little brother) and be a real friend

Make good things happen in your community

Challenge yourself to be the best you can be, in school and out

Dream of a terrific future, and start making it happen!

You may have noticed that I wrote this book with my daughter, Elizabeth (Liz) Lawner. We want you to know who we are, why we decided to work together on this book, and how sharing two different viewpoints will be a plus for you.

Harriet says: Even when I was really young, I knew I wanted to do something to help kids. From the time I started school at the age of five until I graduated from high school at seventeen, my career goal was to become a kindergarten teacher. But while I was in college, I decided to become a psychologist, specializing in child and adolescent development. That meant a lot of years of study, but its a decision Ive never regretted. In my career, Ive taught college students about children, and Ive taught parents how to understand their kids better. Having worked for Girl Scouts of the USA for many years, Ive had the chance to write books for girls and about girls. And Ive had lots of opportunities to talk to and listen to girls across the countryto find out whats important to them, what troubles them, what they want to know. And since 1997, Ive been hearing from thousands and thousands of girls around the world who ask questions of Dr. M. (Thats me when Im the online advice columnist for the Just 4 Girls pages of the Girl Scout Web site: http://jfg.girlscouts.org.) And Ive learned from those questions that whether you live in Dallas, Texas or Sydney, Australia, there are some growing-up questions that almost every girl has.

My two children, fifteen-year-old Robert and twelve-year-old Elizabeth, and the many friends theyve had as theyve grown up have allowed me to understand up close and personal what its like to be an adolescent in todays world. Many things have changed since I was youngexpectations for girls were so different then from the ones parents, teachers, and even girls hold today. Liking math (as I did) was unusual and sometimes embarrassing in the 1950s and 1960s when I was growing up, certainly not something to be proud of, the way girls today would be. Preparing for a career was not typical for teenage girls then; preparing for marriage and children was. However, so many issues are very much the samebullies in the schoolyard, test jitters, great teachers along with really awful ones, chores no one wants to do, endless negotiations over bedtime or music and clothing choices, the desire to fit in, long conversations with best friends, anguish over betrayals, and secret crushes.

Ive never forgotten what its like to be a preteen and young teen girl. I still vividly remember my junior high school science teacher who had a violent temper (I ducked just in time when he threw a heavy tape dispenser in my direction once). I remember leaving the house in black skintight pants that my dad said should not be seen in publicat least not on me. I remember the intense crush I had on those three cute boys in the band, the ones my best friend and I nicknamed so no one would know we were talking about them (I wonder how they look and what theyre doing now). And I remember how tough it was being too shy to say the right thing at the right time.