Bart King - The Big Book of Girl Stuff. The Hip Handbook for Girls

The Big Book of Girl Stuff

Bart King

Illustrations by Jennifer Kalis

The Big Book of Girl Stuff

Digital Edition v1.0

Text 2010 Bart King

Illustrations 2010 Jennifer Kalis

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except brief portions quoted for purpose of review.

This book makes mention of some activities that could theoretically carry an element of risk. Readers naturally assume all legal responsibility for their actions.

We have relied on our own experiences as well as many different sources for this book and we have done our best to fact-check and to give credit where it is due. In the event that any material is incorrect or has been used without proper permission, please contact us care of the publisher so that it can be properly amended.

Gibbs Smith, Publisher

PO Box 667

Layton, UT 84041

Orders: 1.800.835.4993

www.gibbs-smith.com

Library of Congress Catalog-in-Publishing Data

ISBN-13: 978-1-58685-819-3

ISBN 10: 1-58685-819-X

1. Teenage girlsLife skills guidesJuvenile literature. 2. Teenage girlsConduct of lifeJuvenile literature. I. Title.

HQ798.K515 2006

646.700835'2dc22

2006004975

For Lynn, the best girl of all

After The Big Book of Boy Stuff came out, that books author was ill-advisedly allowed to begin work on this companion volume. Although both gender handicapped and rather dim, Bart King made an atypically astute move: He begged his five sisters for help. Being thoughtful and loving sisters (who dont like watching a grown man weep), they acquiesced. The King sisters are

These young women provided this project with the important touches it needed, like an enlightened outlook, a feminine perspective, and dreadfully bad jokes. In fact, their contributions went so swimmingly, the King sisters-in-law were tapped next for their expertise. They are Pat King (teacher!), Cindy King (teacher!), and Lori King (banker?).

The books think tank was then expanded to dozens of girls and young women, from middle school through college, who had suffered through a King classroom in their recent past. We are so grateful to them for finding time to offer their collaboration and suggestions for this book.

The core group of the Girl Stuff Brain Trust: Mariam Kanso, Allyson Scharpf, Miranda Schwabauer, Alex Fus, Rachael Mejia, Allison Moore, Megan McKittrick, Kylie Nomi, Kim Fouse, Sarah Wilson, Amanda Lapato, Rebecca Pankow, Sophie Moshofsky, Jessica Hooper, Kelcey Van Orman, Amy Schick, Kristina Chou, Shannon Twomey, Paige and Greta Lundy, and Rachel Hahn.

Many thanks also to these Esteemed Student Contributors: Raluca Moldovan, Danielle Towne, Tay Fravel, Anna Reilly, Cassandra Phelps, Sydney Rausch, Katie MacCaskill, Anna Miller, Shannon Brophy, Sahara Scott, Katelyn Wright, Linda Job, Layla Ingwerson, Gretchen Gehlbach, Seher Siddique, Sarah Alisawa, Kristina Trindle, Jenna Grabarek, Karissa Bargmann, Natalie Kisby, Lauren Middleton, and Meredith Kelley (who was WAY more helpful than Molly!).

And a Special Shout-Out to: Janet King, Virginia Wassink, Carlye Krohn, Kathryn Fitch, Amy vanderSommen, Brody vanderSommen, Shannon Brophy, Bob Kevoian, Tom Griswold, Kristi Lee, Chick McGee, Dean Metcalf, Will Pfaffenberger, Kim Schwabauer, Branden McClain, Lauren Mead, Bethany Withycombe, Brittany Lindeman, Kelsi Harris, Hailey Larson, Claire Weaver, Annie Weaver, Kenzie Smith, Betsy Mepham, Laura Erkeneff, Marilyn Erkeneff, Daniel Fredgant, Ana Dupuis, Tyler Kelly, Genevieve Smith, Graham Harker, Georgia Harker, Lindsey Zehner, Lauren Zehner, Patty Wassink, Lee Wassink, Chan Lundy, Deb Hartman, Tammi Vincik, Karen Kroner, Ron Martin, Kathy Logan, Carolyn Wood, Peggy Brandt, Anne Stevenson, Lynn Schukart, Nadine Chauncey, Rick Kristoff, Douglas Bayern, Janice Johnson, JoAnn Thomas, Madeleine Levin, Beth Levin, Linda Hall, Patti Larson, Tona Hattery, Leslie Redman, Debbie DuMez, Karen Hughes, Robin Squire, Debbie Groves, Marsha Goldwasser, Karen Youngs, Lisa Sacconaghi, Kristin Heintz, Kim Woodberry, Lisa Senter, Luke Twomey, Mike King, Lainie King, Greg Lauzon, Rochelle Muller, Pam Erlandson, Kira Porton, Christine Foye Katie King, and M. Gleason.

Also, our sincere thanks to the Multnomah County Library staff, especially Tama Filipas, Peter Ford, Deborah Gitlitz, Marci Davis, and Alison Kastner.

Much gratitude to Suzanne Taylor for coming up with this idea. Special credit to Jennifer Grillone, Alison Einerson, Christopher Robbins, Dawn DeVries Sokol, and

Shanna Knowlton for their hard work on this project.

So through the kindness of girls and women, this book has evolved from a bad beginning into the resplendent mess that you are about to take a peek at. Let the peeking begin!

Introduction

Girl Introduction

Hello! Take your time with this book. It may be the best book youll ever read. (Of course, the odds against that are pretty high, but you never know!)

We hope you enjoy it. Now, lets get started!

Adult Introduction

First things first, second things never.

Shirley Conran

The collaborators on this book include dozens of girls, young women, teachers, and mothers. Its our hope that a preteen, tween, or teen girl can find some good laughs, empowerment, and maybe even inspiration in the following pages.

Weve kept a light tone throughout most of the book, partly because thats more fun but also because there is already plenty of high drama in the literature for and about girls in this age group. Although the voyage from girlhood to the teen years can be a tough one, we strongly believe that being a girl today is exciting and enjoyable. And while this book includes many nontraditional female activities, it also features (for lack of a better term) plenty of classic girl stuff. Why did we do this? Because girls asked us to!

Although ostensibly written for eight- to fourteen-year-old girls, The Big Book of Girl Stuff also may appeal to immature adults. And, as a special bonus, we have included a few deliberate and outrageous mistakes in this book to keep you, the adult, vigilant in your reading. If you can find them, write to us (care of the publisher), and you may be eligible for an Amazing Reward. []

Finally, there are several gratuitous references to loofahs in this book. We just think its a funny word.

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[] We assume that you will find the satisfaction in being a perfectionist to be Amazingly Rewarding.