Bart King - Barts King-Sized Book of Fun

You have the right to have fun.

You do not have to remain silent while you have fun. That would be sort of weird. Is it possible to have fun that way? I guess! Maybe if you read this book while stifling yourself, you could do it.

You have the right to talk to a parent before having fun, but this can sometimes reduce the amount of fun you have. If you do not wish to consult your parent, you can borrow mine for a moment. They will tell you to be careful and to go ahead and have fun.

Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you now ready to have fun?

If your answer is yes, thats great. Ive now accomplished a dream Ive had since breakfast this morning!

Sure, fun is a lot of fun, but how do you find it? In your quest for fun, its possible that you might look for it in some of the wrong places. Heck, you might even face an un-fun situation! (See p. 295.)

Question: Is reading fun? Sometimes (like with a book like this) I wonder.

Answer: Why, you little scamp

Whew! Okay, Im calming down with some deep breaths. To explain whether reading is actually fun, I have to tell you a little story:

In 1900, a man named Joshua Slocum published a book called Sailing Alone Around the World . This true story described Slocums three-year journey as he went sailing alone around the world. (You saw that coming, right?) Adults loved the adventure story, and so they made kids read it, too. In fact, a writer named Arthur Ransome thought that any young readers who didnt like the book ought to be drowned at once.

So looking at it that way, reading is fun. Very fun, thank you.

Question: Ive had a lot of fun with my stuffed animals over the years. But now that Im 12, maybe Im a little old for them. What do you think?

Answer: This is a good question. Many of us feel we may have outgrown the things that once gave us so much fun when we were younger. Why do we feel this way? Are we afraid of being teased? Im not sure.

But I can tell you that you are never too old to have a blankie or a stuffed dog, duck, or donkey. Isnt that right, Mr. Cuddles? Youre a good widdle bear, arent you? Yessums, Ive had you for years and years, and youre the best widdle bear there is [Editors Note: Let me interrupt this sad little speech to tell you that stuffed animals can be professionally dry-cleaned.]

Question: Id like to travel in time. Can I do it?

Answer: Sadly, no. But amazingly, it WAS once possible. A girl went back in time and saw her father in high school. He was wearing bell-bottom jeans and a gold chain. And his hair was permed!

This was so traumatic for the girl, time travel had to be outlawed.[]

Question: Do people who smile a lot have more fun than others?

Answer: Yes. And not only do smiley people have more fun, but they may also be easier to be around than others! Heres what I mean: Researchers did a study of yearbook photos and found that the people who smiled in their pictures were more likely to be happily married later in life. (People who actually frowned in their photos were five times more likely to get a divorce than smiling people!)

Wow! Next, the researchers found there was a relationship between a person smiling in ANY photo (even ones taken of people when they were 10) and being happily married later in life!

Lesson: Have fun, say cheese, and smile, smile, smile!

Question: Thank you for the *cough* useful tips. Anything else I need to know about fun?

Answer: Just this: Fun comes from creativity and enthusiasm. So if you think something is going to be fun, it probably will be!

But the bad news is that if you think something is going to STINK, it probably will. Its lucky for us that what makes life fun is your attitude...and you can always change your attitude![]

Example: Youre in a restaurant and youre starving. Its going to be a while before your food arrives. So you COULD sit there thinking about how youre ready to start chewing on that kid at the next table. Or you could let something fun distract you while you wait!

So you grab everyones silverware and make a tic-tac-toe design on the table. Then you challenge your dad to a match using sugar packets and little jelly containers for the Xs and Os. By the time your food gets to the table, youll have won enough jelly containers to be rich for life! (Okay, maybe not. But at least the time will pass more quickly!)

Question: Speaking of restaurants, is there a food that smells more fun than any other?

Answer: Good question! Nothing cheers me up like coming into the office first thing every morning and smelling the fried bologna that my employees cook up for me.

Dang, did you see that? Just now, right outside the window? That was the world going by! Dont ask me how something as big as the world can waltz around back and forth outside your window, but its doing it right now.