Table of Contents
Sexual Healing
BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D., has more than twenty years experience as a sex therapist and surrogate partner. She has a doctorate in health psychology, teaches Human Sexuality at California State University, Fullerton, and maintains a private sexual therapy practice. Her experiences working skinon-skin with hundreds of clients, together with her academic and teaching work, make her uniquely qualified in the fields of human sexuality and sexual pleasure.
Dr. Keesling is the author of many popular sexuality titles that have sold over a million copies worldwide. They include Sexual Pleasure, Sexual Healing, Making Love Better than Ever, How to Make Love All Night (and Drive a Woman Wild), and The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex.
Dr. Keesling has appeared on numerous television and radio shows, including Geraldo, Montel, and Howard Stern. Due to the high quality of the information in her books and her credentials as a human sexuality expert she is also frequently interviewed for Playboy, Mens Health, Psychology Today, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Marie Claire.
Reviews for SEXUAL PLEASURE
Finally, here is a look at the overwhelmingly positive effects of sexual expression in our lives, including increased self-esteem, feelings of personal fulfillment, and sexual ecstasy. Simplify your sex life and breathe some life back into that divinely sensual body.
WHOLE LIFE TIMES
For anyone who wishes to increase [the] ability to experience sensual pleasure.
YOGA JOURNAL
The real beauty of this book lies in the fact that it treats physical pleasure and intimacy as inseparable, mutually heightening ways to experience sexuality and to bond with your partner.
THE LAUNCH PAD
This book is dedicated to my clients.
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Project Credits
Cover Design: Brian Dittmar Graphic Design
Book Production: Hunter House
Copy Editor: Kelley Blewster
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Important Note
The material in this book is intended to provide an overview of techniques for improving sexual health and functioning. Every effort has been made to provide accurate and dependable information. However, you should be aware that professionals in the field may have differing opinions, and change is always taking place. Any of the treatments described herein should be used under the guidance of a licensed therapist or health-care practitioner. The author, editors, and publisher cannot be held responsible for any outcomes that derive from use of any of these treatments in a program of self-care or under the care of a licensed professional. The treatments in this book should not be used in place of other medical therapies.
Introduction
Is your sex life a source of confusion or pain? Do you have sexual problems that prevent you from making love the way you imagine you could? Does sexuality cause you anxiety rather than pleasure? Sexual Healing is a self-help book that can address your concerns. It contains detailed, practical exercises for you alone or for you and a partner that can help heal you of your sexual problems.
The Evolution of Sexual Healing
My background and the topics addressed in this book have become intertwined over the past twenty-five years. In 1980, I was working for the U.S. Postal Service in southern California when I read a newspaper article about surrogate partnersmen and women who work directly with people who are experiencing sexual problems. I decided to train as a surrogate partner and to begin college at the same time. I worked as a surrogate partner for twelve years, until 1992. During that time I also earned several college degrees, including a doctorate in health psychology, a field of psychology that studies the interaction between the mind and the body. In 1990, the first edition of Sexual Healing was published. It was based on my experiences as a surrogate partner and dealt with common sexual problems, such as erection problems, premature ejaculation, and problems with orgasm.
After 1992, I worked as a sex therapist rather than a surrogate partner. In 1996, the second edition of Sexual Healing was released. Although it had the same title as the original, its content was quite different. It focused very little on specific sexual problems and more on using lovemaking to heal peoples bodies, minds, and relationships. It was based on some amazing, lifechanging experiences I witnessed in my work as both a surrogate partner and a therapist. Around that time, I also began teaching at a university and writing many other books on sexual topics. Because of the demands of my writing and my university job, I quit my clinical practice as a sex therapist several years ago. When my publisher approached me about writing a third edition of Sexual Healing, I was ready.
This edition of Sexual Healing harkens back to the first edition in that it contains mostly material on treating specific sexual problems. Yet it also includes content on using sexuality to heal ones body, mind, and relationship. What I have done here is combine the content from the first two editions. I have also added a lot of new material, mostly in the areas of problems with desire, problems with anxiety, and sexual pain. Ive updated the treatments for many of the sexual problems, based upon our continually growing knowledge in this area. This third edition of Sexual Healing represents twenty-five years of accumulated knowledge and experience in the field of sexuality.
Throughout the years, I have used the phrase
sexual healing to mean many things. The following are some of the terms many connotations:
Healing specific sexual problems
Using sexuality to heal the body
Using sexuality to heal the mind
Using sexuality to heal a relationship
Being healed of the effects of past sexual abuse
Healing compulsive sexual behaviors, such as sexual addictions
This edition of Sexual Healing addresses the first four issues. It does not deal directly with the effects of sexual abuse or sexual addiction, although I believe that many of the techniques described here could be used as part of a treatment program for abuse and addiction.