Marvin Lumbard - Know Me Better, Man

K NOW M E B ETTER , M AN

K NOW M E B ETTER , M AN

Marvin Lumbard

2018 Marvin Lumbard

Know Me Better, Man

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2018944795

ISBN 978-1-595557452 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-595557254 (Hardbound)

ISBN 978-1-595557643 (eBook)

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In Charles Dickenss A Christmas Carol, the Ghost of Christmas Present begins his discourse with Scrooge by inviting him to know me better, man. In the Bible, God, on many occasions, invites the human race to seek Him, draw near to Him, call on Him. This is my journey to know God better.

Marvin was raised by parents who are passionate for God. In his childhood, he was exposed to several people who were themselves examples of true disciples. In high school, he stopped struggling against the tug of God and became a follower of Jesus. Out of his love for God, he has been a worship leader for many years. In the winter of 2016, God began to stir his heart to a deeper walk. In February of 2017, he resigned from his position as a worship pastor to go on sabbatical for the refreshment of his body and spirit. It was the preface to what he and his wife have dubbed the year of the unexpected. In the summer of 2017, Marvin began an intentional pursuit of God that would eclipse his previous efforts at discipleship. This is the diary of his walk, originally intended for his children, but, at their urging, for anyone who could be encouraged by it.

C ONTENTS

I have never, with any faithfulness, kept a diary. I will try to do so now, if, for no other reason, the encouragement of my childrens children.

This first entry will be longer as I try to get up to speed as to where Diana and I are in this season of life.

We are beginning our sixth month of God-initiated sabbatical. We never anticipated the length, and never anticipated the physical challenges that challenged my ability to be productive in any endeavor, it seems. Also, my brothers heart attack has consumed all of my thoughts and much of my time. PTL (Praise the Lord), he has ended his month in ICU and his rehab has begun (which may not relieve my schedule but will certainly continue his progress toward Gods continued use of his life for the kingdom).

Through these past months, I have been developing an increased longing for Christ-likeness, to know the voice of the Father, and be led moment by moment from the heart of God. I have read many books recently that have helped to motivate my longings. I will list a few noteworthy titles: The Release of the Spirit by Watchman Nee, They Drank from the River and Died in the Wilderness by David Ravenhill, Why Revival Tarries by Leonard Ravenhill, and currently The Life and Diary of David Brainerd. These, as supplemental reading to the Bible, have been challenging my status quo. Realizing that, while I and many around me have considered myself to be a mature and passionate man of God, the life of Jesus and the lives of other great followers of Christ have exposed my relationship with Christ as hardly an acquaintance comparatively. I have come to realize that I dont love those who dont love God. I dont love what God loves or hate what He hates, and, at the end of the day, I have been far more concerned with pleasing the people around me some I dont even know than pleasing the One who gave His life for me. So, with renewed dedication to knowing the God who loves enough to give deeply, I have resolved to pursue Him for who He is without regard for what I can get from Him. This is my journey.

I have had a thought of posting my diary. I have struggled with several things about it:

1) I dont want to expose myself to everybody.

2) Who am I, or what am I, that anybody would want to read about my struggle to know God better?

3) I have always longed to be able to see into the lives of our heroes in the faith. It seems that we only ever hear about others successes after theyre successful, or read about what they have learned that we havent. I have been so encouraged reading the diary of David Brainerd (a work so raw that its no wonder he had to be persuaded to let part of it be published at the end of his life), that I thought it was worth a shot.

I may not survive it (the thought terrifies me), but I wish others had been transparent enough to let us view their struggles to know God. I guess its one thing to put it all together and expose yourself after you have had success, but quite another to let people in while youre taking the journey. For me, this is a calculated risk. I do know God. I know Him well enough to trust Him. I know that He is true to His word. His Word says to Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8, NKJV). He says, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart (Jeremiah 23:13, NIV). I know that His intention for us is to know Him. Is there any greater goal, any greater success, any loftier purpose than to know God? For out of Him flows anything of true purpose or value or treasure! So, this is it. An effort on my part to seek Him, more fervently than I ever have, with my whole heart.

Heres a little background on where this search began. Since I became a follower of Jesus, I have tried to study and understand the Bible, so that I could live according to its principles. I would be the first to admit that I fall short daily. I would say, however, that hitting something that youre not aiming at is a crapshoot at best. So, I find myself not only comparing myself, but everyone else to the standard of the Bible; specifically, the examples set by Jesus, the apostles, prophets, and all of the other men and women whom the Bible talks about.