Fulgence Meyer - Plain Talks on Marriage

Plain Talks on Marriage

PLAIN TALKS ON MARRIAGE

Rev. Fulgence Meyer, OFM

TAN Books
Gastonia, North Carolina

Nihil Obstat:

Fr. Valentinus Schaaf, O.F.M.,

Censor Deputatus

Imprimi Potest:

Fr. Edmund Klein, O.F.M.,

Provincial Minister

Imprimatur:

Joannes T. McNicholas,

Archbishop of Cincinnati

February 2, 1927

Originally published in 1927 by Franciscan Fathers of the Province of St. John the Baptist Cincinnati, Ohio.

Editors Note: a few sentences and footnotes were added to elaborate on the authors words. Revisions and deletions have been included to make the work more accessible to the modern readers sensitivities.

Typesetting and revisions in Plain Talks on Marriage 2021 TAN Books

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Cover design by Chris Pelicano

ISBN: 978-1-5051-2110-0

Kindle ISBN: 978-1-5051-2111-7

ePUB ISBN: 978-1-5051-2112-4

Published in the United States by

TAN Books

PO Box 269

Gastonia, NC 28053

www.TANBooks.com

Printed in the United States of America

To all the noble Christian husbands and wiveswho, by
their mutual love and holiness of life, aim to make their
conjugal union a true copy of the union of Christ and His
Church, this book is heartily and appreciatively dedicated by
The Author.

CONTENTS

T he cross is the bed of my spouses; its there that I have them taste the delights of my love, said Our Lord to St. Margaret Mary. In the Douay-Rheims translation of St. Johns Passion narrative, Christs final recorded words from the Cross were, Consummatum Est, It is consummated (Jn 19:30). No other bible translation uses these wordswords which illuminate the marital act. On the Cross, Our Lord gave everything to His spouse, the Church, pouring out every drop of blood so that she might be holy and blameless like her Bridegroom (see Col. 1:22). From the pulpit of Mount Calvary, Our Lord gave all couples the greatest marriage preparation course ever. This course does not end after a couple exchanges their vows; rather, it begins. A sacramental marriage becomes valid not when a husband and wife say I do but when they consummate their love by giving themselves to each other freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully in the marital act. Hence, St. Paul was not using a loose analogy when he said, Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it: That he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the washing of water in the word of life (Eph. 5:2526). No, St. Paul was giving us a vibrant and robust metaphor. Be crucified, husband. Be crucified to selfishness. Be crucified to sin, especially sexual sins. Do not take up your cross only once, but each day of your life. If you are crucified with Christ, then you and your spouse, with Gods grace, will live happily ever after in Eternity.

As Our Lords piercing words to St. Margaret Mary reveal, marriage is the cross and not a bed of roses. The honeymoon will not last forever; temptations and trials will come. And yet, just as suffering endears mankind to the heavenly Spouse, so too will suffering unite you to your earthly spouse. It is when you reject the cross and seek your own pleasure that you set yourself up for divorce. Make no mistake, the marital bed has been tainted by our perverted culture and defiled by sin. Instead of having one bride until death, a married man can now have thousands of brides, albeit fantasy ones. Instead of seeing his wife unveiled for the first time on his wedding night, many young men today have seen countless unveiled women virtually or in reality. Today, more and more women are also struggling with pornography. Perhaps this wound was inherited from their own parents whose lack of purity infects future generations. Yes, there is such a thing as generational sins; vice is readily passed onto ones children.

When the late Fr. Fulgence Meyer, OFM, wrote this book in the 1920s to counsel married couples on sexual morality and forming a truly Catholic home, he never could have imagined how the cancer of pornography would creep into the Church. Pornography is the most confessed sin by men. Yes, pornography is the greatest threat to the sacrament of marriage. But there is hope. Hope in the power of the sacraments, especially confession. But do not wait until you are married to convert your heart. The wedding ring will not take away your lust. You must choose your spouse now. While Our Lords public ministry began around the age of thirty with His Baptism in the Jordan, Jesus prepared Himself from the womb. The same is true for you. Since your childhood, you have been preparing for your vocation. Who you are today is largely the result of your parents, how they disciplined you, the values they instilled in you, and the habits you acquired. Now, along with your spouse, you have been entrusted with the responsibility to prepare your children for their future vocations.

Although the sacrament of marriage is daunting at times, the saints are always there to supply timely help. Call upon Our Lady, Mother Most Pure, and her most chaste spouse, St. Joseph, to give you a clean heart. Be the holy spouse that your wife or husband need you to be today. Be the holy parents your children need you to be today. Remember, Christ Crucified is the only solid foundation for a lasting marriage.

Dear Husband, each morning you spend a few minutes before a mirror combing your hair, or perhaps shaving your beard. But do you each morning spend some time quietly looking at the true mirror, the holy crucifix? When you see Our Lords body, drenched in blood and scars, does it not reveal to you who you are and who you ought to become? There is no greater examination of conscience than gazing on Him, Who willingly stripped Himself of everything so that you might no longer glory in the flesh. The holy crucifix, my brothers, is what total self-donation and humility looks liketo be poured out completely, to be crushed like grapes in the wine press of love, and to hold nothing back from ones spouse. To see the cross of your vocation but to choose it anyway is authentic, sacrificial love. It is the path to glory. Pride, selfishness, and lust have no place in the heart of a true lover of the Cross.

Dear Wife, each morning you spend time before the mirror so that you might look more beautiful for yourself, your spouse, your friends, even total strangers. But do you also spend time before some image or statue of Our Lady, she who perfectly mirrored her Sons virtues of love, humility, poverty, and obedience? Our Lady is the mirror of humility, true femininity, and receptivity. Seek her intercession and she will teach you how to give yourself more fully to your husband. She will teach you generosity, but most of all, she will slowly plant her virtuous flowers in the garden of your heartwhere a living Mary garden will flourish. A wife who seeks to forget herself as Mary did, who seeks to serve her husband, will find him more eager to sacrifice for her.

The marital wisdom presented in this little work, in these honest and open plain talks, is timeless, tried, and true. Dear Catholic Parent, we are on a great stage and Our Lord, the saints, and the angels are watching us. Let us not miss the opportunity to love our spouse as Christ loved His Church. Let us not miss the opportunity to raise our children to become great saints so that we might praise God with them now and for all eternity.