Malin Andersson - Positivity Is Our Superpower: Everything Ive Learned about Trauma, Grief, Confidence and Self-Love

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Text Malin Andersson, 2022

The moral rights of the author have been asserted.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or otherwise be copied for public or private use, other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews, without prior written permission of the publisher.

The information given in this book should not be treated as a substitute for professional medical advice; always consult a medical practitioner. Any use of information in this book is at the readers discretion and risk. Neither the author nor the publisher can be held responsible for any loss, claim or damage arising out of the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made, the failure to take medical advice or for any material on third-party websites.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-78817-649-1
E-book ISBN: 978-1-78817-653-8
Audiobook ISBN: 978-1-78817-650-7

Ive always wanted to write a book, but the first time I thought about it seriously was after my mum died when I was 25. Little did I know then that the universe still had a bit more to throw at me before Id get around to working on this book about my experiences of trauma and grief.

To be honest, Ive endured a lot of traumas in my life, and from the youngest age my father died when I was 11 months old. Since that challenging start, Ive had to overcome childhood bullying, eating disorders, racism, the fickleness of fame, losing my mum to cancer, sexual assault, domestic violence, and the most painful chapter in my life: the death of my child. This book explores the raw wounds that Ive been left with, but its also an acknowledgement of the light that can come after the clouds have passed.

People expect you to be broken after going through so much trauma. And dont get me wrong, I was for a while. But then I guess I found the light. I chose to grow from my experiences. What helped me to find the resilience and strength to heal was discovering my own path and spiritual beliefs and practices. Having my own awakening, if you like.

Actually, I was raised a Christian and my mum was a devout Catholic, so I went to church on Sundays and to Sunday school. But it never made much sense to me I didnt buy into her Christian beliefs. I remember seeing my mums body in the morgue and instead of crying as youd normally do, I just said, She looks different. I had an overwhelming urge to touch her, so I prodded her face. My brother was like, What the hell are you doing? I replied, Shes gone. I can feel her behind me, but I cant feel her in this body.

It was after that experience that I started to question everything. My mind began to go a bit crazy. I could feel my mum around me. Feathers were constantly in my surroundings a sign that your angels and loved ones are close and sending you loving reassurance. I think my consciousness just expanded. And from then on, I couldnt go back in time. That was me: I was awake.

For me, writing this book has almost been like therapy. Its been tough because Ive had to relive and revisit stuff that was painful, and it brought back a lot of difficult memories. Every one of those traumatic events in my life was a milestone, and in the chapters of this book I openly share my innermost thoughts, feelings and reactions around them.

But I also share the things Ive discovered along the way that have helped me, and which might help you to feel the sunshine in your life. Because it does come again it might just take a while. Youll also find some of my favourite mantras, which I use myself, and the tips and tricks that help me to stay in a good place mentally and emotionally. I hope you find all this helpful too.

After I lost my mum and then my baby, Consy, and Id walked away from an abusive relationship, I remember wandering around my apartment, not really knowing what I was doing. I was a lost girl. I started using my Instagram almost as a blog, just speaking about how I felt after being attacked by my former partner.

The biggest surprise was that other people were comforted by me doing that. And then, as more and more people resonated with my experiences and the messages I shared, I thought: Well, Ive been through other things too, so let me talk about them as well.

I ended up speaking about everything, whether it was eating disorders, grief or love. And as I was getting more and more responses from people telling me that I was helping them, I thought, This feels right. This is my purpose. This is definitely my calling.

Two years later, I now have well over 700,000 Instagram followers, and Im a motivational speaker and a champion for those with body-image issues or eating disorders. Im also an ambassador for leading charities that deal with infant mortality, domestic violence, depression, suicide, and other mental health issues. I fight for causes that pain me and which Ive had personal and raw experience of.

Despite all this success Id say that my biggest achievement so far is simply to have gotten through the barriers and to have overcome all the obstacles and traumas in my life. And the thing Im most proud of is that Im able to reach thousands of people who perhaps havent been reached out to before: those who might find themselves thinking that they have no way out and who havent had the support of someone whos lived the traumas that Ive been through.

I want people to realize that theyre not victims and that they can survive and come through it, as I did. Thats why Ive written this book.

So, if you find yourself in a traumatic situation, or you know someone in that dark place right now, this book is for you. What I share in its pages will help you to see that there is hope and there is another way. After all the heartache Ive been through, Im now thriving, and you can too.

Entering the prospect of motherhood without my own mother was scary and painful. Leaving that road without my mum or my baby was the worst thing Ive ever gone through. But I survived, and I want you to know that you will too, whatever it is youre fighting your way through right now.

Lessons from My Troubled Start in Life