Taylor Griffin - When Heaven Feels Distant

2018 Tyler Griffin

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the publisher, Deseret Book Company, at permissions@deseretbook.com or PO Box 30178, Salt Lake City, Utah 84130. This work is not an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The views expressed herein are the responsibility of the author and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church or of Deseret Book Company.

Deseret Book is a registered trademark of Deseret Book Company.

Visit us at DeseretBook.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Griffin, Tyler J. (Tyler Jay), 1973 author.

Title: When heaven feels distant / Tyler J. Griffin.

Description: Salt Lake City, Utah : Deseret Book, [2018] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017040981 | ISBN 9781629723976 (paperbound)

Subjects: LCSH: MormonsConduct of life. | SufferingReligious aspectsThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. | Christian lifeMormon authors.

Classification: LCC BX8656 .G76 2018 | DDC 248.4/89332dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017040981

Printed in the United States of America

PubLitho, Draper, UT

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Book design Deseret Book

Cover design: Shauna Gibby

Cover illustration, Steady as She Goes , Robert Carter

Dedicated to all who struggle and to the Lord of mercy, who is mighty to deliver

I have many people to thank for helping me throughout this journey. Bob Millett and my current dean, Brent Top, gave me the encouragement I needed to begin the process. Lisa Roper worked with me to identify the topic and has given me helpful, formative feedback all along the way. Tracy Keck helped me polish the final drafts of the manuscript.

My dear wife, Kiplin, helped and encouraged me from start to finish. On occasion, she would stay up late at night, reading the manuscript to give suggestions. Much of what is included in this book represents shared experiences with her or insights received from her. Heaven rarely feels distant as long as she is by my side.

My father-in-law, Emery Crook, has been through this manuscript multiple times. He has the gift of patience and an eye for clear, concise, and complete writing. He was gracious enough to give me multiple rounds of feedback. He was also instrumental on many occasions in helping me align individual sections of the book with its overall purpose.

When Brad Wilcox joined our faculty in BYUs Department of Ancient Scripture last year, I was grateful to be assigned as his faculty mentor. I knew a lot of mentoring would take place, but based on his life experience I had no doubt about who would benefit the most from our interactions. When he heard I was writing this book, he asked if I would like him to review it. I assumed he would read a few chapters and give me some experienced-author recommendations. Was I ever wrong! Brad printed all 150+ manuscript pages and spent hours marking up every one with insightful suggestions for improvement. His feedback was astute and influential. Thanks for the mentoring, yet again, Brad.

My brother-in-law, Adon Crook, also helped me with formative feedback. It didnt take him long to realize that I am more comfortable as a teacher than as an author. He helped me translate my classroom ideas into appropriate book structures. Im grateful for his shaping and undiluted feedback and helpful recommendations.

I am grateful for editorial and grammatical feedback from my sister, Dana Rasmussen. Two of my nieces, Alexia Morris and Aleni Rasmussen, were also kind enough to read through the manuscript and share their thoughts with me. Davis Agle tracked down all of the book and scripture references to verify accuracy.

Im also grateful for the many people mentioned in the book who were willing to share their stories and insights with me. I am especially grateful to Tim Turner and Floyd and Carole Burnett for being willing to help me tell their story in the introduction. I know that process was not easy for them.

Most of all, I acknowledge the goodness of God. Nothing I have written or accomplished is of any value without Him. His feedback and corrections along this journey, while being the most painful and hard to take, have been the most helpful and shaping of all.

As a young child, did you ever wander off and get lost? How did you feel? As you grew older, did you ever experience complete rejection after striving with great effort to achieve something? Do you remember how that felt? Have you ever found yourself facing a seemingly impossible task? Has your faith ever been seriously challenged by a difficult question? Have you had a relationship fail? Have you been diagnosed with a serious disease or had a major operation? Have you lost a loved one? What thoughts and emotions do you experience at times like these?

Chances are, your attention turns heavenward, either looking for answers and strength or because you feel the need to vent frustration or anger.

We have all felt the raw emotions of grief and despair that typically accompany traumatic experiences. In these stressful circumstances, we may begin to feel as if the heavens have withdrawn, leaving us to face our difficulties alone. But something deep inside our hearts whispers otherwise. Its inspiring to meet people who have found ways to tune into that whispering voice in the face of trials. Such stories touch us in a way that causes heaven to feel closer and helps us discover greater meaning and motivation in our own struggles. Those experiences are sacred ground. I have met many people who have shared their stories and left me better than they found me. Tim and Karen Turner are an especially powerful example of this.

The Turners family wasnt typical. They had six children ranging in age from seven to fifteen. Five of the children were challenged, with a diverse range of abilities. Jessica, their oldest, felt out of place because she was the only child without a serious disability. Emily was wheelchair bound and nonverbal with cri-du-chat syndrome. Dallin was autistic. Katelyn, Joshua, and Megan, the younger three, were adopted siblings who all faced serious challenges including reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiance disorder, and lingering complications as a preemie born four months early. Needless to say, Karen had her hands full with homemaking and taking care of the daily needs of their children while Tim was at work.

Despite the effort associated with vacationing, the Turners enjoyed traveling and decided to take a coast-to-coast Church history trip. In June of 2010, they left their home in Oregon, dropped Emily off in Salt Lake City with Tims sister, stopped at Martins Cove to pull handcarts, and visited the pioneer museum at Winter Quarters.

While driving through Iowa, they ran into a torrential downpour. Suddenly the van hydroplaned, spun out of control, and slammed into a concrete wall. Tim, Jessica, and Joshua sustained life-threatening injuries, while the other three children escaped with little harm. While in the ER, Tim learned he was being treated for multiple wounds, including a neck broken in five places, a severe concussion, and a broken arm. His physical injuries, however, were completely overshadowed by his anguish when the news arrived that Karen, his wife of eighteen years, had not survived the crash.