Andy Halston - Is Lonliness A Problem? You Can Defeat Lonliness

IS LONLINESS APROBLEM?

You Can DefeatLonliness

By

Andy Halston

SmashwordsEdition

The Publisher has strived to be as accurateand complete as possible in the creation of this report,notwithstanding the fact that he does not warrant or represent atany time that the contents within are accurate due to the rapidlychanging nature of the Internet.

While all attempts have been made to verifyinformation provided in this publication, the Publisher assumes noresponsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation ofthe subject matter herein. Any perceived slights of specificpersons, peoples, or organizations are unintentional.

Readers are cautioned to reply on their ownjudgment about their individual circumstances to actaccordingly.

This book is not intended for use as a sourceof professional advice. All readers are advised to seek services ofcompetent professionals in the appropriate field.

You are encouraged to print this bookfor easy reading .

Why I Wrote ThisBook

Welcome, my dear readers!

If you are feeling lonely as you are readingthis, you are not alone. The reason why I put this book together isbecause I know what it is like. Loneliness is a topic that is veryclose to my heart because I have been through the depths of empty,meaningless feelings many times and I am not new to that kind offeeling.

I have felt every gripping moment of it. Thelong, long hours which seems like days, the lonely nights where Iweep in silence, drenching my pillow salty with tears, the lack ofdesire to face the next day and the thought of wanting to end itall!

It doesnt matter if you have agirlfriend/boyfriend, husband or wife. No matter how close you arewith them, there are parts of you that they just dont understand!The pain doesnt fade after confiding with your best friend, yourgroup of buddies, or even your counselor! Nobody seems tounderstand you yet you want them to feel your pain.

I empathize with you, my friend. I trulydo.

But I have good news for all of us lonelyhearts out there. I have survived through and I have a way to solveit if not ease the pain at least.

My stories and writings inthis book aim to accomplish a few things:

Understanding the theory behind loneliness tobetter understand yourself

Understanding the feelings associated withloneliness

Developing a healthy feeling of love to helpyou overcome problems

Practical steps to break the lonely cycle

Replace the feeling of loneliness withhealthy thoughts

It is my sincere wish that after you readthis book, you will be better equipped to cope with loneliness.Even if you dont feel lonely, maybe you know someone who is. Usethis information to help them and make their world a betterplace.

All Alone!

Everyone in the world has felt this emotionone time or another. Especially in these times rapid technologicalgrowth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.

Firstly, we must clarify what lonelinessmeans.

Loneliness is an emotional state. This is astate where people experience a disconnection from people aroundthem as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders theirpresent company around them meaningless.

That person could be in a big crowd or byhim/herself, married or single, young or old. They basically findit very hard to connect with others and experiences emancipationfrom meaningful relationships.

This is not to be confused with beingalone.

Being alone does not equate to being lonelybecause sometimes it is good for a person to be alone and at timesit could be very refreshing as the person has the opportunity torefresh, recuperate and rediscover part of our lives.

What are the common symptoms of being alone,if you are reading this book? I bet you might be feeling one ofthese symptoms.

You think your problems are so unique thatother people do not understand

As a result, you feel that other people inthe world has friends and you dont

You feel extremely self-conscious ineverything you do

You feel that when you do something wrong,you get extremely embarrassed

When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned bytheir voices

You feel disconnected with the crowd eventhough you are with them

Feeling shy and scared of others

Experiencing low self-esteem

Feeling angry, defensive and critical ateverything even if it is not directed at you

Afraid of strangers and refuse to talk toengage in a hearty conversation

Being convinced there is something wrong withyou

Feeling anxious and sad believing no oneknows how miserable/isolated you feel

Losing your capacity to be assertive' feeling"invisible"

Refusing to accept change and dont want totry anything new

Feeling as though nothing else matters andcontemplating suicide.

Ever had that feeling that yourwife or husband doesnt understand you? Your spouse or significantother is right beside you yet it doesnt fill that gap.

You may be surrounded by many people, yettheir company drowns you deeper into loneliness!

People feel that way because we are allunique and different. You see:

There is no one in the entire universe thatwill have the same personality, ideas, way of life and needs likeyou. NONE! Not even twins! How can anyone fulfill all those needsto cater every individual?

There us a quote from the bible that says ifI try to remove the speck from my neighbors eye, I must firstremove the plank from my OWN eye then I can see clearly before Iattempt to remove his speck.

How does this apply?

By understanding that other people are notobliged to fulfill our needs, we somehow learn to expect less fromothers and it eases the pain, because we stop expecting more fromothers! We learn to accept them better and judge others less so itcreates the first step to curing loneliness giving othersslack!

Remember that we are the sum of the fivepeople we spend most of our time with.

If you are mixing with a crowd that isnegative and makes you feel down all the time, it is no surprisewhy you are lonely and negative. It is no surprise that childrenmove out from their homes away from negative parents or stopinteracting with certain groups of friends all together. Dont letthe poison drain your energy.

How does the agony ofloneliness seem to penetrate the hearts of men and women throughoutthe world? Even superstars who have been the icon of generationsand admired by millions feel unfulfilled (e.g. Janis Joplin, KurtCobain)

The feeling of loneliness is radically due tothe failure of man in loving others. The symptoms of lonelinessmagnetize the effects of the pain to the extent that it forces thefocus of attention more on ourselves and creates aself-preoccupation that creates an obstacle to love others.

Ever had a stomachache? Who are you thinkingof at that moment?

This illustrates the point that we are onlythinking of ourselves. It shows a terribly pain filled world inwhich we live in.

Furthermore, the pain does go away like astomachache. The so called Mid-life crisis is turning more into ayoung adult crisis now with suicide rates hitting the roof andmost diseases in the world today mentally induced or cured inpsychiatric wards.

The basis of trust between people is erodingand less and less people are opening up to one another. By failingto open up to others, the lonely symptoms spring up as other peoplewill not open up to you if you do not open yourself to othersfirst.

It is said that if you want to be surroundedby friends, be a friend to others first.

Love The Verb,Not the Feeling

Love, or rather the lack of it constitutesthe loneliness breeding in a persons heart. It is a scary fact tonote that we are largely shaped by others (remember the sum of fivepeople we spend most of our time with) who hold our destiny inTHEIR hands.