Marilyn Meberg - What to Do When the Roof Caves in: Woman-To-Woman Advice for Tackling Lifes Trials

WHAT TO DO
WHEN THE ROOF
CAVES IN

2009 by Marilyn Meberg

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Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture references are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture references marked GNT are taken from THE GOOD NEWS TRANSLATION. 1976, 1992 by The American Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture references marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture references marked MSG are taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Scripture references marked NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE. The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture references marked NKJV are taken from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Meberg, Marilyn.
What to do when the roof caves in : woman-to-woman advice for tackling lifes trials / by Marilyn Meberg.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-4002-0246-1
1. Christian womenReligious life. 2. Problem solvingReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Crisis managementReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
3. Crisis managementReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4527.M437 2009
248.8'6082dc22

2008049386

Printed in the United States of America

09 10 11 12 13 QW 6 5 4 3 2 1

CONTENTS

SOLUTIONS AND
CAVE-INS

Dont you love to hear the words, Ive got just the solution for your problem? The word solution is full of promise; it lifts my spirit and renews my hope.

The problem Im about to describe to you is admittedly not high on the scale of big-bigger-biggest, but it nevertheless was one for which I wanted a solution. And incidentally, any solution that comes packed with a few giggles is my favorite kind. So let me share it with youwho knows, maybe youve been looking for a solution for this very same problem.

Each spring I plant a gorgeous garden of flowers: petunias, snapdragons, and pansies (to name a few). I love my flowers. The problem is, so do the Texas neighborhood wild rabbits that appear out of nowhere! Shortly after my plantings (in each of the three years Ive lived in Texas), the ravenous and relentless appetites of multiple rabbit families descend upon my garden and eat each little plant right down to the nubbins. Then they have the audacity to stand outside my window mouthing the words, Were still hungry. So like any conscientious moron, I replant. Like any brilliant rabbit family who knows a moron when they see one, they again descend upon my new plantings, reducing them to nubness. For years I have been in need of a solution for my victimization.

Three weeks ago it happened: the solution. I was getting a haircut and complaining about the high cost of keeping the neighborhood rabbits fed. One of the women having a root touch-up turned from her magazine and said I can tell you exactly how to get rid of your rabbitshuman hair. They are repulsed by human hair. All you have to do is spread hair around the roots of your flowers. I promise they will flee.

I looked at Natalie who was cutting my hair. It was 3:15 in the afternoon, so her wastebasket contained a days worth of hair. She stopped cutting, stared at me a moment, and then said, You want it? It seemed like such a hairbrained idea, but I loved the quirkiness of itand of course, I was desperate. Yeah, I really want it! She grabbed a Wal-Mart bag out of her cupboard, dumped the hair supply into it, and within seconds I sailed out the door with a bag of rabbit solution.

On the way home I started thinking about when I should do the hair sprinkling. I felt self-conscious about being seen crawling through my garden sifting wisps of hair around. I decided to wait until eight oclock p.m. when I could do my work under the cover of approaching nightfall.

When I felt I had sufficient twilight, I started hairing up my backyard flower beds. I was surprised to find I soon lost enthusiasm for the project: my back hurt, my fingers lost nimbility, and the hair gave me the creeps. There was brown hair, black hair, blonde hair, grey hair (mine), and multicolored hair starting at the roots. By the time I reached the front yard I was eager to be finished and was no longer sifting the hair. I was dropping it about in clumps, which could be mistaken for poorly maintained little toupees.

I was nearly finished when a car approached my house going very slowly. I did not want to turn around... I did not want to be recognized. I continued dropping hair clumps. The car then pulled into my driveway. With the motor still running I heard the window lower and the familiar voice of my friend Luci Swindoll. Her words:

What in the world are you doing? I drove over here to see why you are not answering your phone, and I see you hunkered down among your flowers with a Wal-Mart bag in your left hand, a rubber glove on your right hand, and youre tossing something about.

I rose up to my full height and told her what Id learned about a rabbit solution (she too is plagued with hungry rabbits) and that I had a days hair supply given to me by Natalie when I got my hair cut that afternoon.

She stared wordlessly at me for at least a full minute. I figured she was thinking maybe the idea made sense and perhaps shed better try it too. Instead, she leaned out the window and in a loud conspiratorial whisper said, Marilyn, do you realize you are spreading the DNA of perfect strangers all over your property? Im sure thats not even moral! And not only that, what do you think the neighbors are thinking? You look as if youre trying to destroy evidence from a crime scene!

I accused her of watching too many episodes of CSI, but I took her up on the offer to go get a soy chai tea latte. Until that moment, it had not been a pleasant evening.

So heres the proof the solution works: I have no more rabbits! I think they all scooted immediately over to Lucis property where there continues to be good eating. What puzzles me, though, is that Luci refuses my hair solution. I got a new hair-bag yesterday, which I offered to share. She says she cannot accept my offer because it would compromise her moral standards. Uh-huh!

Now this book is committed to providing solutions for problems far more serious than a band of marauding rabbits. Nevertheless, in a serious cave-in there may be a solution wed never have considered simply because it falls under the category of hairbrained.

In all reverence, I think many of Gods solutions seem hairbrained. To name a few: How about Jonah being swallowed by a whale and left in its belly until Jonah repents of his disobedience? That confession is celebrated by the most significant vomit session in human history. Or the drama of the walls of Jericho, which crashed after a divinely synchronized yell from the Israelites. And then theres Gods beloved prophet Hosea who was instructed to go out and find a wife; the one requirement for that wife was she must be a prostitute.