Marilyn Meberg - Constantly Craving: How to Make Sense of Always Wanting More

Constantly Craving

Other Books by Marilyn Meberg

Id Rather Be Laughing

Choosing the Amusing

The Zippered Heart

The Decision of a Lifetime

Assurance for a Lifetime

Since You Asked

God at Your Wits End

Free Inside and Out (with Luci Swindoll)

Love Me Never Leave Me

What to Do When the Roof Caves In

Tell Me Everything

Constantly Craving

MARILYN MEBERG

2012 by Marilyn Meberg

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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from Holy Bible, New Living Translation. 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the KING JAMES VERSION.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Meberg, Marilyn.
Constantly craving / Marilyn Meberg.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references
ISBN 978-1-4002-0355-0
1. Spirituality. 2. SatisfactionReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4509.5.M43 2012
241dc23

2011040782

Printed in the United States of America

12 13 14 15 16 QGF 6 5 4 3 2 1

I dedicate this book to the memory of my husband, Ken Meberg. For 29 years we laughed, loved, and persevered. For 21 years, I have craved his presence. But the day is coming when all cravings will cease. So get ready, babe. When the time is right, were going to be laughing together again.

CONTENTS

by Dr. Henry Cloud

THERE IS A WAY TO FIND THE HAPPINESS YOU CRAVE

ONE OF MY FAVORITE ACTIVITIES AS A PSYCHOLOGIST IS TO READ and study research. It is like a treasure chest to me as I get to see how psychological and psychiatric studies give us a clear picture of what really happens in life. Not that all research is perfect or foolproof, but over time, taken as a whole, it can give us some pretty dependable findings.

Studying research also gives me another exciting result. It sings out to me the truth of the Bible and of the reality of all that God has said to us. Psychological research repeatedly proves the great themes of the Bible and that Gods Word truly can be trusted when it tells us about life.

In the last decade, the psychological profession has spent a lot of time, energy, and resources studying the question of what makes people happy. The researchers have looked closely at the differences between happy people and those who arent, about what will and wont make people happy, and more important, about how someone can change from being an unhappy person to a person who experiences more and more happiness.

The research tells us there are many factors to happiness, including a couple of findings that are relevant to Marilyns book, Constantly Craving. First, the studies tell us that only about 10 percent of our happiness comes from anything circumstantial. But that is not how we usually think, is it? We think, If I had that job, or that relationship, or lived in that city or that house, or lost twenty-five pounds, or gained a lot of money... then I would be happy. In other words, often when we are unhappy, we think that more of something would make it all better.

But research tells us if you get the more you are craving, you will return to a set point of happiness that has nothing to do with getting more but is determined instead by who you are as a person. It is your basic set point, or thermostat, of happiness. The big news: getting more is not going to do it for us, no matter how much we crave it.

But all is not hopeless because the second big finding is that there truly is a set of life practices, attitudes, and behaviors that actually will produce the happiness we crave. The lesson is that happiness actually can be foundand increasedin our lives. The cravings can end, and we can become happy and content. However, it is not going to be found on the outside, but from making changes in our hearts, minds, souls, and lives.

That is the answer to our constant craving. It is about walking past the tabloids seductive promises in the checkout line that lure us into thinking that to be happy we have to look like the latest Hollywood flavor of the week, or have something they have. Whether they are the cultural icons in magazines, or your neighbor across the street, you must refuse to believe the lie that something more on the outside is going to help. Instead we all need to seek the spiritual answers that truly work.

In that arena, Marilyns book gives us a guide. In Constantly Craving, she honestly acknowledges the cravings in life that drive much of our activity, hopes, dreams, disappointments, and even despair. But she doesnt leave us there. She leads us to the reality that a relationship with God and his way of living are the real answers to our deepest longings. And I can tell you that scientific research backs up Gods ways as well: they truly work in real life.

My hope for you as you read this book is twofold. First, I hope you will learn that God does have answers for your deepest longings... longings for meaning, purpose, forgiveness, relationships, and more. And second, I hope that you will do more than learn. I hope you will put into practice what you learn here. The combination of learning and acting on what we learn embodies the two sides of Gods answer to our cravings since day one: faith and action. Faith is to believe what God says about himself and his ways, and action is to put those ways into practice. I believe that if you do both, you will find some answers for some of your deepest longings. And Marilyns book will be a helpful companion in your journey.

God bless,
Henry Cloud, Ph.D.
Los Angeles, 2011

One
THE ITCH FOR SOMETHING MORE

EVE, OF GENESIS FAME, WAS (OBVIOUSLY) THE FIRST WOMAN IN recorded history who did not want to be who she was or where she was. She didnt know who or where she would prefer to be, but she knew she wanted more of whatever it was she didnt have.

Her craving for more was elusive and ill defined. She had not experienced more but craved it anyway, and that craving drove her to give up what she had in order to get what she didnt even know. The price of Eves craving for more had catastrophic cosmic consequences; her eviction from perfection left an imprint on all creation. That imprint produced a certain homelessness of the soul that drove Eve, her husband Adamand all of us who followedon a quest to return to that place where we hope to find perfection, wholeness, and fulfillment.