Maki Moussavi - The High Achievers Guide: Transform Your Success Mindset and Begin the Quest to Fulfillment

The High Achievers Guide

The High Achievers Guide

Transform Your Success Mindset and
Begin the Ques t to Fulfillment
Maki Moussavi

Mango Publishing

Coral Gables

Copyright 2019 Maki Moussavi

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and review.

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The High Achievers Guide: Transform Your Success Mindset and Begin the Quest to Fulfillment

Library of Congress Cataloging
ISBN: (p) 978-1-64250-021-9 (e) 978-1-64250-022-6
Library of Congress Control Number: 2019941804
BISAC category code: SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Success

Printed in the United States of America

For my little birdies, Syra and Sansa, who give me wings, and for my husband, Payam, who sees me.

Never love anybody who treats you like youre ordinary.

Oscar Wilde

Table of Contents

Are you successful yet strangely empty? Is there a void you cant fill, no matter how much money you make, status you achieve, things you buy, or trips you go on? Maybe youre doing okay, but still feel as if there should be something more. Do you change things up in an attempt to find the mystery puzzle piece, only to find that the sense of a missing element returns once youve adjusted to the new normal? Do you wonder if there must be something wrong with you and worry that youll never be satisfied? If so, you might be a high achiever.

At the height of my career, when I was finally where Id always wanted to be, making more money than I ever had, I was miserable. It made no sense. I couldnt identify why, and as my awareness of just how unhappy I was increased, it took up more and more space in my head until it consumed me. I thought, Im damaged in some fundamental way. Why cant I be happy? The irony is that, for my most of my adult life, I have focused on gratitude and appreciation for what I do have. I was grateful for my work, my home, my family, my health, my friends, even for the coffee I lingered over daily, enjoying every sip. I had clarity about all that I had going for me. Yet, somehow, it wasnt enough. I didnt know why and had no idea how to fix it.

I started tuning in to my coworkers in a different way. I realized that, though the circumstances of our lives varied, many of them felt similarly to me. They had it all, but it didnt feel like much. They were exhausted, put upon, bored, anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, stressed out, running on fumes, irritable, frustratedthe list goes on. Oddly, it reassured me that I wasnt alone. Not in a misery-loves-company kind of way, but in a way that sparked the thought that we all shared something in common that could be identified with the right tools, if I could find them.

When I began the quest for the answer, I was pumped up. Ready to figure it out and tackle it the way I had every other challenge in my life to that point. I did some research and decided to start by reading self-help books. There are so many options it was hard to know which would be most helpful. I scanned summaries, looked at reviews, and ultimately decided to begin with books that had a more spiritual bent, because every business-oriented book out there felt much too corporate and formulaic to me. I got to work.

I learned a lot. Each book had something interesting and relevant to offer that I could work with. I kept reading. Over time, I had a hodge-podge of information and no clue how to begin making real changes. I did some experimenting and found that I would make some headway, then get stuck, unsure of how to keep going or how to take what I had done to the next level. I was just so steeped in the way I thought and operated that, even if the change I tried to make made sense logically, getting my brain to think in new ways was a lot harder than I had anticipated.

Eventually, I came to the realization that what I really wanted was barely considered from day to day. I did the things that I had been taught mattered, and that were reinforced daily through habit and routine. My survival was covered. I had a home, money, family, food, and health. I was grateful for all of it. But it was survival . Joy, excitement, and inspiration were rare. I wasnt truly experiencing life through the lens of thriving. Neither were most of the people who surrounded me.

This is how high achievers come to a place of stagnation and lack of fulfillment. Your bar is too freaking low . You live in the place of low expectations, where survival is good enough. You rarely tip the balance into truly experiencing your life more often than not. You grind it out. You learned from those who came before you and those who surround you that you should be grateful for what you have and make the best of it. To want more is unrealistic and perhaps even silly. After all, this is what your parents did and what your friends do now. Suck it up, buttercup. Maybe buy an expensive toy or take an extravagant trip to fill the void. Deal with it and settle in. This is your life.

Ill be okay, It will be fine, Im alrightdo you say things like this to yourself on a regular basis? Okay, fine, alright. These are words of resignation. If you reinforce through your words and thoughts that all you expect is to be okay, then okay is all youll be. We live in a world of imbalance, where we see those who have less than we do and feel guilty or shameful for wanting more than we already have. How does your shame or guilt help those who have less than you? Raise your bar, begin demanding more from life, get out of your own misery, and then you can actually dedicate time, energy, and/or money to helping those less fortunate than you.

As a high achiever, you are beautifully equipped to lead a fulfilled life. But first, you have to acknowledge that what drives you may be a bit dark. The need to be validated, acknowledged, accomplished, seen, recognized, to win, etc., are drivers that come from a place of limited self-worth. You may be thinking, Wait a minute. Im self-confident. I know what Im worth. But do you really? Your self-confidence is bolstered by the validation you receive for meeting the expectations of others. Would your confidence remain intact if you didnt receive recognition? You dont know your value internally, so you seek to have it defined externally. As you know, these drivers will work for a while. Youll enter the achieve/receive validation cycle and it will feed itself, all while you remain void of the knowledge of your intrinsic worth. You will make money, achieve status, accumulate material possessions, and remain unfulfilled. The tangible cannot fill the intangible hole inside of you.

As successful as you are, you cant take your life to the next level without doing the deep work to transform the way you see yourself and raise the bar for what you expect from life. The way you live has been dictated from the outside with little to no input from you. How can you possibly expect fulfillment if what you want isnt at the heart of all you do? Yes, it will be scary. You must have the courage to walk out of step with those who surround you. You must have the conviction that its worth facing the fear to live a life in which you can thrive rather than survive. Neither the courage nor the conviction will show up to support you as long as your desires remain unconsidered. This is YOUR life. Not your moms, dads, kids, partners, or friends. Yours.