Gemma Cairney - Open Your Mind: Your World and Your Future

To Ling gone but never forgotten.

Every time the sky looks magical like the neons of

an orange sunset, or a giant glowing moon I think of you.

CONTENTS

WELCOME

Welcome to Open Your Mind: Learn to Deal With the Big Stuff In Life.

This book is here to be your guide in times of need. Keep it on your shelf and go to specific chapters during those moments in life that mess with your head, or leaf through and devour it cover to cover. By opening this book you have become part of #TeamOpen, and part of the movement for open hearts and minds. There is no one that this book isnt for.

During years of presenting, and more recently with The Surgery on BBC Radio 1, Ive encountered a huge variety of people who are dealing with lots of different things in their own ways. My own life hasnt always been easy, and whilst Ive dealt with some of the stuff that comes up in this book, Im not an expert in everything all I can do is communicate openly about what Ive been through and be a friend. Ive consulted lots of people who are experts in the issues covered, though along with a list of people and organizations to speak to if you need more information on anything.

This book covers some tough stuff, but theres nothing you wouldnt find in the storyline of a popular soap opera, and definitely NOTHING you wouldnt find within a four-second Google search. Open Your Mind is about real life and everything that comes with it.

This book isnt all about me, its also about you and all the other incredibly clever, brutally honest, brave and awesomely inspiring voices woven within its pages. Feel free to respond to however the words make you feel.

JustYOU

DEAR READER

I write this from Ghana, West Africa, where I am recording a documentary about music for BBC Radio 4.

I have been procrastinating woefully about writing this introduction. Putting off things that you are capable of doing is a type of self-harm. The worry keeps you up at night, oozing around your mind like treacle. But now that Im in the sun where Im most happy, in new and uplifting surroundings, my bones feel warm and relaxed, my brain feels more fluid and my beating heart less panicked. I can write this. Self-sabotage is something that comes annoyingly easily to me, but it is also something Ive learned to swim with in the seas of life. I know my mind its ups, its downs, its capabilities and that helps.

Were all capable in our own ways of learning from hard times, from mistakes and feelings that are difficult to describe but can seem overwhelming. Tuning into behaviours that make you feel down, upset or fearful is a truly powerful thing. Its one of the ways we open our minds. Knowing what makes us us as individuals, accepting it, and deciding to do what makes us feel most happy is the spirit of Open Your Mind, the third book in the #TeamOpen family. Be absurd, be berserk, be angst ridden sometimes, surf your own waves, be excited, be bewildered, but dont give in to fear.

I once interviewed the legendary singer Grace Jones, a phenomenal force of a woman; she was utterly brilliant. One of the many marvellous things she said when I asked what scared her was, The only thing I fear, is fear itself. Its important to know that our minds are complicated and they need to be exercised just like our limbs.

The only thing I fear, is fear itself.

Sometimes I feel like my body is in knots, like a physical manifestation of exhaustion from being the best I can be, or sadness about failed loves or general life worries. We all need to reset mentally and physically sometimes and we all do it in different ways. I dont meditate, though I probably should because my mind often fizzes with ideas and fears. Instead, I plunge into cold water, quite literally and metaphorically. I jump into an eighty-year-old tidal pool near my house and splash about like a goofy seal. The way the cold makes my skin tingle and the blue of the ocean fills my vision makes me feel serene. I am immersed in nature, detached from a phone or any technology buzzing at me to buy something, or achieve, or get back to someone on email. Its a mighty flipping powerful way of resetting. (Of course, cold water swimming isnt for everyone and you need to do your research first before starting something new. Dont just jump straight in, but do take the sentiment.) My thing is pool plunging; whats yours? What do you have in your life that you love, that helps you press reset if youre feeling blue? If you dont know the answer, I can only hope that this book will help you find it.

receiving the book with open arms

Its fair to say that I felt overwhelmed by how many things I touched on in trying to create #TeamOpen and cans of worms were opened in my own personal life. I slumped a little. Its been a heart-wrenching journey, but one Im truly grateful for. The response Ive had since the original hardback Open, A Toolkit For How Magic and Messed Up Life Can Be was published has been incredible. I feel inspired and humbled by how awesome people have been in receiving the book with open arms. Knowing that #TeamOpen is out there and that some part of Open has made someone giggle, or helped someone to feel less lonely is a thing I cant put into words except for WOW.

Gemma

BRAIN HOUSE

Your mind is your dazzling, powerful control centre like NASA navigating the vastness of space, or the control tower at every airport coordinating a bajillion planes. The brilliant, boggling headquarters that is your brain enables your body to function. KAPOW! WOW!... Your brain is immense! It sends thousands of very important signals, every split second, to all parts of your body. Your brain is the most intricate, clever, complex and AMAZING organ you have. Your mind is what makes you an individual. Its what makes you you.

While youre growing from birth to adult-hood your brain is developing impressively fast. You learn to crawl, to speak, to read and write, to ride a bike... to drive, to cook, to perhaps even speak another language. Your brain is exotic, inquisitive and capable of all sorts. You are endlessly grabbing at the multiple learning opportunities the world around you has to offer with the help of your brain. Stop and give your incredible mind some credit for a second.

You may feel like a loser sometimes but you were once merely a tiny cell... and now look at you! Snap, crackle, POP! your brain is whirring. If youre lucky, and you protect it, your brain will serve you well. Combined with positive experiences, education, nurturing and the right people around you, your brain will help you make important life decisions, alert you to danger and keep you on the right path.

But sometimes, through no fault of your own, your brain can let you down.

This section of the book will walk you through some important truths about the way our minds work. Well explore some of the darker corners, and give you the knowledge and the tools to cope when things go wrong. Please read on, especially if you are experiencing issues with your mental health or feeling at a loss in trying to help out a family member or friend.