Monique Jellerette Dejongh - How to Marry a Black Man: The Real Deal
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- Book:How to Marry a Black Man: The Real Deal
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How to Marry a Black Man: The Real Deal: summary, description and annotation
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1. Get your act togetha, so when you finally do meet Mr. Right, he cant resist you.
2. Smile and say hello to every Black man you see.
3. Forgive old lovers and make peace with them.
4. Tell everyone you know that youre looking for a husband.
5. Go on as may blind dates as possible.
6. Date men who are not your typeyou may be pleasantly surprised.
7. If you ask a man a series of questions within the first five minutes of meeting him, hell tell you almost anything you want to know. After that he clams up and wont tell you a thing.
8. If you realize right away he is someone you dont like but does have an interesting job or hobby, he may have a friend whos perfect for you.
9. If hes available and you like him, dont hesitate to let him know.
10. Dress conservatively. If you attract him with your body, how are you going to keep him with your mind?
About six years ago, on the eve of her thirtieth birthday, Monique Jellerette was desperate to get married, but couldnt seem to find the right man. A married friend, Cassandra, offered some solid (albeit unsolicited) advice. Monique, determined to do it her own way, suffered through a few more dates from Hell before she realized Cassandras tips might make sense. So she started putting Cassandras suggestions to work, made up a few tricks of her own, and devised a plan of action...Six months later Monique met and married Bob and became Mrs. Monique Jellerette deJongh! Now, in How to Marry a Black Man, Mrs. Monique Jellerette deJongh and Mrs. Cassandra Marshall Cato-Louis share their secrets with women everywhere.
Based on Monique and Cassandras proven techniques, and coupled with the results of all-male focus groups on what Black men are really looking for in a prospective mate, How to Marry a Black Man is part manual/journal and part workbook, and delivers the goods on how to master the dating game and find a husband.
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Copyright 1996 by Monique Jellerette deJongh
and Cassandra Marshall Cato-Louis
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Broadway Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
B ROADWAY B OOKS and its logo, B \ D \ W \ Y, are trademarks of Random House LLC.
Originally published in hardcover in the United States by Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc., New York, in 1996, and subsequently published in paperback in the United States by Main Street Books, an imprint of Doubleday, in 1997.
Excerpt from Healing Pluto Problems by Diane Cunningham (York Beach, Maine: Samuel Weiser 1986) on is used by permission.
Illustrations by Barbara Brandon
Designed by Bonni Leon-Berman
Hieroglyphs by Anthony E. Blow
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available upon request.
eBook ISBN: 978-0-307-75492-9
Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-0-385-48247-9
v3.1
Bobby, I adore you Your being able to put up with me
convinces me never to underestimate you again.
How do you keep making me fall in love with you?
Moj
I lovingly dedicate this book to my husband
Elmer Papi Supriano Louis,
who saved my life and gave me gifts of love
that I will cherish eternally
C.
janet
marie
bobby de
elmer
paul
dylan
jordan
layla
desiree
tar
moshood
z
barbara b
dr. rich h.
dr. rocchio
emma & the team at d
carole anne/gj
grace
pat
patty
taylor, bernadette & scott
hattie
al/papa aj
alvin
ann carol
mike carroll
ingrid & sigfried
sandra & the people at Servisio Kultura in Curaao, Netherlands Antilles
alda jr.
linda, ariel, erica & darrel
fire marshal grandma and grandpa al
vaughan & nikki
danielle, taylor, troy & diane
nana, gramamma, grand gg, grandaddy, aunt rita, criso, bob & momma donna
renee, linda r, alexandra, nicole teru & beth + I
ayka, katsue & doug
freddie & beve
giselle & desireequeens borough public library claude e
sean
all the men who werent The Ones but who helped us to know who he was when we met him
all the men who participated in the focus groups/interviews
all the womben who participated in the focus groups/sistah to sistah conversations
danielle
moutique, olu orisha & ade
linda
tony
lynda & jim
sierra
craig & tommy
lisa
michael
clyde
chase, chelsea, chet, charlene & bart
sandra, justin, evan & iris
alex, aisha, angela & taylor
aqueelah & margie
arnela
sonja
paula
sarita & dan
jules & jeff
robin
chris & beverly
amtrak & employees
wendy
arletta & rudy
dad & liz
Ceremony
Dark an stormy may come de wedder;
I jines dis he-male an dis she-male togedder.
Let none, but Him dat makes de thunder,
Put dis he-male an dis she-male asunder.
I darfore nounce you bofe de same.
Be good, go long, an keep up yo name.
De broomsticks jumped, de worlds not wide.
Shes now yo own. Salute yo bride!
From: Crossing the Danger Water
Three Hundred Years of African-American Writing
Gettin Yourself Togethah
Gettin a Brothah to Notice the New You
Reality Check
to face the biggest obstacle that is keeping you from getting married to a Black man: you! Go stand in front of the mirror. Look deeply into your own eyes and answer these questions silently to yourself:
Do I want to get married? | Y | N |
Am I ready to get married? | Y | N |
Although Im powerful, do I believe that I will find a Black man that can deal with me? | Y | N |
Do I believe that there are Black men out there who arent in jail, taken, or gay? | Y | N |
Do I really believe that there is someone out there for me? | Y | N |
Am I ready to change the way Ive been going about flirting with Black men? | Y | N |
Am I ready to get serious about taking someone elses life into my hands? | Y | N |
Can I love someone else as much as I love myself? | Y | N |
Am I ready to have sex with only one person for the rest of my life? | Y | N |
Have I healed all of my past heartaches to allow my husband in? | Y | N |
For a printable version, please go to http://rhlink.com/htmbm004.
If you answered Yes to most of these questions, then get prepared to walk down that aisle! Weve found that wanting to be married is the first step on the way to wedded bliss. And we do not mean some fantasy of marriage, but a sincere willingness to embrace the entire commitment. Marriage takes a great deal of patience, commitment, compromise, sharing, growth, sacrifice, passion, understanding, giving, taking, tolerance, humor, tears, sweat, tenacity, and, not least of all, love. If you dont really want to get married, please dont try and wing it just for the hell of it. It wont fly. At least, not forever! If youve thought long and hard about taking on this difficult task, and still think you want to try your hand at being a wife, then you need to determine your readiness . Wanting to be married and being ready must go hand in hand. Well help you determine your actual readiness in . But only you can truthfully determine if you wholeheartedly want to get married.
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